Afraid of being relaxed !!

[darkangel]

This may seem a strange thing to ask but i think i have got so used to being in an anxious state and expect the symptoms to be there - ive been like this for 8 years. Recently i have had what i can only describe as a "stillness". There is no panic, no anxiety, no symptoms, only a strange calmness - but it scares me. When there is no adrenalin shooting through me i feel different and it feels strange. Its like i am scared to feel calm cause it has been so long since i felt relaxed and maybe ive forgotton what it feels like - Not sure this is making any sense!! When i feel this "stillness" i think my heart will stop and i am going to stop breathing so i panic and all the familar symptoms come back. Any advice?
Darkangel

[florence]

Hey darkangel,

It definitely makes sense, I know what you r talking about, you 've just been so used to this anxiety for so long, no wonder that relaxation feels odd for you and scary, I tend to be that way too.

Florence.

*He who loses money, loses much; He who loses a friend, loses much more, He who loses faith, loses all.*

[Meg]

Dark Angel

Get up and shake about and then sit / relax and enjoy the stillness.

Enjoy how you can read or watch or listen without all the previous feelings.

I really enjoyed setting up a bird feeding station and quietly sitting and watching all manner of birds go about their daily business.

Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[wavey]

Enjoy the feeling, I'm sure you have worked hard to get to it.

I get the same feeling sometimes after some panic attacks. If all is peaceful, I'm waiting for the next attack to jump out on me. I start thinking - it's too quiet, there must be a catch somewhere!

However, I found it a good time to look at the fears that made me panic. When I thought about them in a relaxed state, they seemed miniscule. I said them out loud, for example - "I am frightened that my heart might stop", and they seemed almost comical. I'm sure it helped put things in perspective though.

Take care,
Davey

[desperate]

I can associate with this too, I had one of those moments the other day and i got so scared by it and the emptiness in my mind i almost willed the anxiety back, tres weird.

I guess you get used to thinking anxiously and living your life according to it so when i goes u kinda panic as you think 'what will i do/be like without it!!!'

Sarah

[lotus]

I've had many moments of "stillness", and yes, they do feel weird and unnatural. Now I think that this state of forced relaxation /as I like to call is/ is a result of nervous fatigue - being too tired to have any symptoms and attacks. I never actually felt truly relaxed during these moments, I felt rather numb. [Duh!]

[Sue K with 5]

Hi Dark Angel


Ditto really! you grow so used to being anxious and panicky that stillness feels like either the calm before the storm or your body has actually stopped functioning!

Its actually like being in a completely relaxed state of mind ! I would abosrb it and enjoy it because this is actually what they call normal!

Huh sounds weird saying that when I am supposed to tell myself I am normal ! but thats exactly what it is


Keep going



Sue with 5

scknight

[darkangel]

Hi guys
Thanks for taking time to read my message and for all the positive comments - i will take them on board and try to enjoy the new feeling.
Have been under a lot of stress recently and maybe this is my body starting to relax again - i only wish i didnt monitor my body so much then i probably wouldnt notice the changes.

Thanks again
Darkangel x

........life is for living not just for surviving

[Shadowwin]

This is something i truly understand.. in fact I posted just a bit ago about realizing i was breathing all the time.. but i will share with you what my therapist told me just today.

He said that since I've spent so much of my life caught in a whirlwind of chaos that now it's starting to subside I feel empty. At first I looked at him funny but the more I thought about it on the drive home from his office the more i understood what he meant.

We Anxiety suffers are usually very emotional people as well as we are always thinking about one thing or another. It has become normal for us to be that way.. and here some of us are trying to re-learn things that may have been imprinted into who we are since we were children that in it's self causes a feeling of disassociation and unreality.. especially when we remove those thoughts and emotions that we are so used to identifying with.

There is many a night i'll be sitting here in front of my computer just chatting with friends or reading and I'll find myself wondering why i feel so "numb" it's not that i'm numb i'm relaxed.. the hyperness that goes with the constant fear i'm going to have an attack isn't there and in the process of reviewing my thoughts on this I find myself panicking because nothing feels normal to me right now.. but then on the other hand what is normal? It's something most of us have never really known.. it's a perception from watching other people and how they interact and react.

When I was in training for my new job my trainer had said to the class "It takes 21 days to learn a new habit" and i've actually made that a sign that i know have hanging on my desk. Sure everything feels funny right now but eventually it will be like i've always just done it.

Some of the things I do when I start getting jumpy about the "empty" feeling is I will listen to soothing music, or I will write in my journal.. I try to find activities that in the long wrong will fill my head with positive happy thoughts instead of fear.

I hope this helps some.. I know it helped me writing it
~Shadowwin

[katreneeg]

I felt relaxed for the first time in years last week. It was an odd, but peaceful feeling. I didn't realize until then that I never feel calm. Haven't felt that way since and it makes me sad that I don't get to experience being calm more often. Any idea how you became relaxed? Thank you!

[cardcraft]

it will feel odd but its a good odd,if you can get what I mean!
I do feel (and this only a personal opinion) that we try so hard to control everything even though it doesnt feel that way,so actually just feeling 'calm' makes us kind of freak as it just doesnt feel 'normal' and we feel a bit out of control.
Like everything it will take a bit of time to get used to but you will and then it will start to become second nature.

[trampslikeus]

i feel just the same.
i've spent the past few months suffering almost relentlessly with panic attacks and anxiety, so tonight without any of that fear has scared me more than actually having the fear, if that makes sense.
i'm more unsettled with this 'normal' feeling than i am with my usual anxiety, but i'm sure the feelings i know will come back soon, i'm just far too tired to feel right now.
i hope you learn to love the calm with time.
take care
x

[Tom_M]

Hi Darkangel

Probably you feel a little insecure, not being on the ready for something happening, with being anxious for so long. You body is relaxed but your mind is still alert and anticipating a flight or fight situation. You need to convince yourself that there's really nothing to worry about

Tom

[joeinjapan]

I often feel terrible guilt when I'm relaxed, and that God or some universal force will punish me for enjoying life while there is so much misery and pain elsewhere in the world.