Hi,ive just joined this site for some help and advice

[leigh32]

Hi,im a 32 yr old woman with 4 kids. I suffered from mild depression a few yrs ago and took st johns wort to help the symptoms,which it did but as a result of taking it i got pregnant.Was unaware that it affected the pill. Now a few yrs on,im with a new partner who is sometimes very abusive towards me and my kids (none r his). Now the depression is back with a bang,ive tried other herbal remedies that didnt work.Ive bought some kalms but not sure if they really work or not.Yesterday,i had my first ever panic attack which totally scared me.I had one again this mornin and felt like i need the call a ambulance.i laid on my bed for a while and tried deep breathing which did help.now i feel ok but now worring that these panic attacks r goin to be a regular thing.i know that proberly leaving my partner would be the answer to all my problems but when the relationship is good,its great but when its bad,its horrendous.Can these kalms tablets work and can anybody give me some help tips to control the depression/panic attacks.I dont wanna talk to my doctor as i dont want him to think im a bad mother.....my kids are the most important things in my life.
Sorry for rambling on but really needed to offload this.

[nomorepanic]

Hi leigh32

A huge warm welcome to nmp.

You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.

Best wishes

[Alana29]

Hello and welcome
I am also very new to the site (joined last night)
I have had anxiety for 16 years ...I am 29 and A mum of 4 children. I have never took tablets and deal with attacks by small frequent breathing which helps in almost 99% of my cases...
I can not give advise on the relationship side as it's something only you can sort out....I will suggest maybe speaking to someone proffesional,maybe counselling for the both of you??
I do hope everything sorts out for you and if ever you like to chat feel free to message me
Good luck with it
Alana
x

[nervy-paul]

I found valerian & hops (a herbal remedy) were very good for helping relax and ease anxiety/nerves, though not suitable for anyone taking medication. Take care and welcome to the forum. :)

[leigh32]

well here i am a while after i posted this thread n now my boyfriend has come home in his works van and i was supposed to follow him in his car so he could take the van back to work. the car which hes only had for a few days second hand had a flat battery when he bought it but ive been drivin it every day.today i havent been out in it so when i went to start it,it wouldnt.this now has caused a major row with me being blamed for everything. he calls me useless and other words that i wouldnt post on here n then i left in tears and shaking coz of his attitude.im sure my depression/ anxiety is caused by him as other than the normal everyday worries that everyone has,my life isnt that stressful.i have four kids and not much money but they dont cause me major stress,its only him.i do love him but the attitude i get when the smallest of things goes wrong isnt worth it.he has gone off now in his van and i know for a fact that when he comes home it will all start again.if it wasnt for my kids i dont no what i would of done. mental abusive from a partner is sometimes as bad as phyisical abuse.i just know what to do....the last time i asked him to leave he smashed the place up in front of my kids.i have nowhere to go so i cant take the kids anywhere and anyway,y should i leave my own house?

[leigh32]

alana29,ive just added u to my contacts list if u dont mind.x

[Alana29]

Hi no thats fine hun
You have no reason to drag yourself and children away from your home...If it gets that desperate,get the police to come and remove him and also bang an injunction order so he can not come near you and the children untill things are sorted.
I don't like to comment on relationships as i know alot of things are easier said than done.
Again its only something you can phyisically help yourself with!!
If he does kick off and you feel threatened for yourself and children please don't hesitate to call the police...It's not fair on any of you having to put up with it....Yes i also believe that mental abuse is just as bad as phyisical,in some cases worse as it puts certain thoughts into your head and then your own issues escalates even more
xxxx

[nervy-paul]

I am so sorry to hear about your situation, you shouldn't have to put up with that. Any decent human-being would see the effect on you and the children and try to be more understanding. It also doesn't help you in your depression/anxiety. I would agree with Alana29 in how to deal with things, sorry I don't have any fresh advice, but you are in my thoughts and I wish you all the best.

[eva12]

You poor thing.Please don't feel that you are alone.There are lots of support groups out there for help in an abusive relationship..i know it's really hard but you need to change something about the situation for yourself and your children.
As for the kalms i personally didn't find them helpful but this just might be me.
However,i cannot recommend rescue remedy enough..and a lot of people i know feel the same..tr it i think it really works.
lastly please do go to your g.p if you feel you need some help.This does not need to mean medication.I promise you your doctor will not think that you are a bad mother..anxiety/depression happens to the best of us and for many reasons but it's not your fault.
Hope to talk soon
A
x