Had a bad time this year

[phil06]

Can anyone give me any positive words on how my years been? I just feel a bit dead end at the moment.

Anybody been reading my posts knows about friendships going wrong, work stressing me out and so forth, no dates.

Basically the climax of my year has been me seeing it all go wrong from the start. I am now unemployed, not had a date in months, a friendship I had and fell out with the person about 5 times this year has permanently ended and it's unfixable, I can't sit my driving test as I am struggling with the maneuvers and consistency. I went for another two job interviews last week and still never got the job.

I'm now basically at square one, I'm 21 stuck in the house. I want to go out but need urgent new friends, no joy finding work, dating no joy..this is my hardest run since I left school. Thinking about all things new job, 4th attempt at college? I wish I was one of these people who grows up and it all fits into place.

There's about 3 weeks left of 2009 and can't see much else changing, my concern is I don't want another year like this one. I have posted so much crap on here maybe the run of luck I've had has made my anxiety worse.

It's maybe not strictly anxiety but I'm a bit lost on where to go next? Feel deflated trying soo hard but getting no where? :wacko:

[Mya]

Hi Phil06,

I am sorry you are feeling so down. I am sorry but I have not read your posts as I am pretty new to this site.

I can relate though, to friendships going south, the stresses of work and feeling like my future is up in the air. I live in the United States, and our economy, as I am sure you are aware, is in desperate trouble. The unemployment is getting worse each day (it is much worse than what the media portrays too) and I hear about someone I know losing their job it seems all the time. It has been very hard for everyone, not just people like us who suffer from fears and uncertainty.

I just turned 34, so I am a bit older than you. I was speaking with my husband about how terrible I feel for young people, such as yourself, who are trying to start a life for themselves. It is very hard to plan things with the way the economy is going, etc. I hope I am not making things worse by saying that, but my reason is for you to know that just about everyone is experiencing this now.

When I am at my lowest points, I try and think of the positives that are around me ( I know they are hard to see, but we all have some positivity in our lives). I would say to you that always remember someone has it much worse. There are many families with children to support that have lost their jobs. Families struggling to put food on the table, let alone think about Christmas gifts. As for friendships coming to an end, I know how difficult it can be. I have lost many friends too and although it is hard, I try to learn from the relationship. It can be hard to give a person up, but it can also be a much needed release of getting negativity out of your life. The older you get, the smaller your circle of friends becomes. You don't want the extra drama in your life and having a few, very close friends that accept you for who you are - are the best friends you can get. People come and go in our lives, it will always be that way. In order to be have healthy relationships you must take care of yourself first.

Sorry for rambling and probably not making much sense. We cannot plan for the future, no matter how perfect things could be going at the time. Life is about hitting bumps in the road. You must enjoy the present and follow your heart. When you follow what your heart tells you, it will guide you to finding the purpose you have in life

"I wish I was one of these people who grows up and it all fits into place"

We all wish this. Although it may seem that many have everything going for them and things fitting into place, for the majority of us, we have to work very hard to get there. With patience things will fit into place. You must focus on the here and now and not worry about next year. It is hard not to have control over the future, but if we can accept that, it will allow us to enjoy the present.

I wish you the best and hope things improve for you. Just remember many people are struggling during these times and try to focus on the positives in your life, no matter how small, to help you get through.

xxoo

[Rom]

Phil06 your not alone in this i am also in a very similar position to you nojob,not many relationships at 22 and struggling with anxiety.I think the only thing you can do is to try and keep rolling and also remember if it doesnt kill you feeling like this then it can only make you stronger.

[snippy]

Hi, read your post and felt really sad :weep: You are so young !!!! you have loads to look forward to. So what if your relationships arent going to well,,,,,you have plenty of time and you probably havent med the right person yet !!!!!! There are loads of people who dont have a job,,,pick yourself up,,,do something for yourself,,i did,,i now sell on ebay,,i started by going to car boots sales and charity shops,,,now i wholesale cosmetics on ebay,,,,i had a crap start in life,,and i wanted to change it and i did,,,and you can too !!!!! Do something for yourself !!! be brave and strong !!! we are all here to support one another !!!!

Please dont think i am nagging you,,,but you are so young,,,and you have loads of life to enjoy xxx

Whenever you feel down,,come on here, mail me and i will get you through this tough time,,,promise :hugs:

Regards

Jools x

[phil06]

I now feel sunk to the gutter. Spent the last two weeks seeing if the friendship could be fixed only to find out the entire thing social circle is over. Friends I made through this person ran back to him and left me out the picture totally helpless and I got told where to go. It can't get any worse I felt bad texting them so fix it when they never cared. But I've been sat in for weeks since I left my job stewing and dwelling.

Now basically I feel broken and tears. It's like all the progress I made has failed yet again like when I left school and had to build everything again. I'm well and truly at square one seems to be the picture tale of my life..

The years are going to drag on it I keep coming back to square one like every single year. I mean what is it with me seems I need to travel a mile to get people to like me. The last few weeks I've felt the most unpopular guy around anywhere just NOTHING is going right atall. I guess it doesn't help this year that I have tried to make new friends, find a g.f, deal with anxiety and not had the joy. If I had a normal life I'd have made new friends so these worthless ones would fade quietly, I'd have moved from my old job to a new one instead of walking out.

Why why the hard way? Here goes again 2010 from the bottom of the ladder. Christmas not even looking forward to it, been that miserable the last month I've barely been over the door to see any of it..just awful. I'm sure given the kind of crap I've had there's little I can do? I mean I don't feel this way as an over reaction I feel this way as my life has hit rock bottom..I have NOTHING!! Now even if things pick up again this square one is looming in the background.

I mean I'm probably unique...the luck I have I mean I'd love for a night out..won't see that this Christmas, xmas shopping..be lucky If I get out once before that, totally skint because I walked out my job. Best I can do is go for a 20 minute walk? great!

Ok there's a few positives like driving test soon but seriously I feel it's meaningless I can't see how I can last a job to run a car and I've no good friends left, no g.f , no job so I might aswell drive no where, infact won't even get a car passing my test would just be a statement.

I can't seem to adjust my head round how consistently bad this year has been for me, at times there's been hope and things looking up, and at the last..NOTHING and here I am..all this effort but now crushed as I sat and watched it all crash around me all year... :lac::weep:

Is this my life..is this is what I have to be use to..deal with every single year, day? In the end I have to admit defeat on the friendships one as it seems broken for good. I duno where or who to turn do.

[unspoken]

:hugs::hugs: Ok first some hugs are needed, lame as emoticon hugs are, to show that we're here for you on here and we won't abandon you.

2009's been a crap year for me too. Some good things happened, a few achievements, but a lot of lows. I've been on so many different prescription drugs this year. I have friends, but none of them are local. I've lived in this town exactly 12 years, and know nobody who lives anywhere nearby. That feels like a failure. My friends from uni are drifting off and doing their own thing. I had a job, but like you, I had to give it up due to anxiety, and also the behaviour of my colleagues and my own fears. I have no idea where I'm going. Oh, and I'm 21 too.

So, like you, I'm hoping for something new for the New Year. I've also hit a low. I'm struggling to think through the haze of whatever depression and anxiety have done to my brain, combined with Temazepam and some new antidepressants. But being at Square One means we can hopefully only go up from here. Anything can happen. How much help are you having in dealing with the anxiety? It's difficult coping without meeting new people, when I left school I didn't really have any friends left. I made some great friends from online forums though who helped me to get through the past few years and all the ups and downs (more downs than ups sadly).

I'd like to write more helpful stuff but I'm not very with it. PM me if you want to talk any more though cos it sounds like we're at a fairly similar stage in our lives, I'll probably make more sense in the morning.