unable to switch off

[d77]

Hello,

I seem to be stuck in a vicious circle of depression/anxiety, i have noticed things get progressively worse for 6months. My heart beat is always faster and i feel on edge, I cant relax at all.

The feelings of worthlessness and hating myself are overwhelming, it actually physically hurts feeling so useless and feeling I dont deserve to live. When I think like this I get angry and my anxiety gets worse, i find myself literally shaking at night and I cant do anything, I started self harming which helps at the time but the next day im horrified at what ive done and puts me in a panic again. I bought a new jacket but now I want to rip it to shreds as I believe i dont deserve it, dont deserve to eat either. I seem to feel i need to punish myself for something. Sometimess when out in the street im so paniced i just want to collapse and cry non stop, I am blowing everything out of proportion aswell, taking things people say to me personally.

When at work I put so much energy into trying not to breakdown i end up having crying sessions in the toilet. I have been prescribed Tifaxin but cant start taking it for some reason.

Can anyone identify with these feelings?

Dave

[ElizabethJane]

Dave I'm sorry that you are feeling like this. I have felt like this in the past. If the venlafaxine has been prescribed for you then you have nothing to lose by taking it? It may actually help your anxiety and depression. As anti depressants take two to four weeks or longer to kick in try to find some help for yourself right now? Talking to someone from the Samaritans would be a start. you don't have to meet them face to face if you don't want to and you can remain anonymous. If there is someone nearby perhaps you could have a chat to them? Please don't shut yourself away and isolate yourself becuse that is when you will have feelings of self harm. There are lists of distractions which can be found on this site. If you are feeling up to it then try to do something that makes you feel better everyday like going for a walk or swimming or going to the gym. I have had that feeling where you just want to sob or cry out loud. It is just your inner voice needing expression. (I do lots of singing which helps with my emotions) If things don't improve then go back and talk to your doctor and keep posting on here. I hope you feel better soon.

[Maj]

Hi Dave,

I know - it's absolutely awful when you feel like this. Many of us have been there and know what you're talking about. You feel that you can't cope anymore and can see no light at the end of the tunnel. If I were you I'd take the medication. I think you desperately need something to make you feel better. Medication can make a huge difference to how you feel - YOU WON'T ALWAYS FEEL LIKE THIS!! The only reason you feel you don't deserve things is because your self-esteem is so low because of how you feel. You are a very special, sensitive person, always remember this. All your symptoms are symptoms of anxiety and depression that all of us get - you are no different, so please don't be so hard on yourself. Keep posting on here and you'll get support from everyone. Keep in touch with your doctor. Take advice from this site and you will eventually see some light at the end of the tunnel. Please don't give up hope. Do some things for YOU!! Treat yourself, eat when you want, sleep when you want, get plenty of fresh air, take exercise that you like doing, because without a doubt this will make you feel better afterwards. I really feel for you but I know that with time and support you will get there. Keep us posted on how you are doing.
Myra:hugs:

[.recovery.123]

Have you had any counselling or therapy for this.
Someone to talk things through with. Like the above post says, the samaritans are a great listening ear. They dont advise, but through talking to them, you can explore your own emotions.

[d77]

Have you had any counselling or therapy for this.
Someone to talk things through with. Like the above post says, the samaritans are a great listening ear. They dont advise, but through talking to them, you can explore your own emotions.

I did have some counselling, however I felt it made me feel worse as it was brining up things that I had'nt thought about, thus making me think more about things.