panic attacks and driving

[fifi d]

Hi
I have been driving for over 20yrs,I used to live in a city and would cheerfully zip around the city/dual carriageways/motorways.
10 yrs ago i moved to a fairly rural county and a small town and have since had kids and ive developed panicky feelings whilst driving.

I think its probably getting worse,Im ok doing the school run/supermarket and local type things but just recently ive started to get panicky feelings driving along an A road to work,its always on the same bit of road(going down a little bit of a hill)and as I approach it its almost as if I anticipate that I will have a panic attack and feel faint.Ive been doing this drive for the last 9yrs,never had an accident so cant understand where these feelings have come from.
Interestingly enough,it only happens on the way to work(I work night shifts)NEVER on the way back home in the morning.
Im not what you would call a fast driver(I dont get above 60 on dual carriage ways)but I used to think I was fairly safe.Now the fear of feeling faint/panicky whilst driving is becoming restictive and is stopping me doing things like travelling to see friends,going xmas shopping to large towns and more importantly I was doing extra work for an agency(this was very well paid but meant travelling sometimes 30 miles)but because of my fear of having a panic attack Ive had to stop the extra work.
I really dont want to feel like this anymore-Am I going mad???
Just as a footnote I have been on/off citalopram over the years(for post natal depression/anxiety)have been medication free for the last 3 yrs.I have 3 kids(twins and another girl whos only 11mths older than the twins)and a fairly controlling husband who sets rules which are sometimes impossible to meet.
I constantly feel like Im rushing about trying to get things done and get stressed if I havent cleaned the floor by 9am(thats an example of my mind set!!).I have a responsible but stressful job so im not daft!but there is this panicky thing holding me back,even to the extent that I used to be an avid exerciser(running/gym etc)but I cant even be bothered to do that(so consequently have put on about a stone and feel even worse!!).
Sorry have moved away from original post but wanted to know if anyone has ideas on how to stop myself from cracking up and get back to being the confident person I once was?have held off from seeing the gp as not sure I want to get back on that whole medication roller coaster thing again!!

[jude uk]

you are putting lots of preasure on yourself and part of this may come from having a controling partner. This can spill into your day to day life but the driving does puzzle me as you have not had any accidents but since it is only on the way to work this may mean your not enjoying your work(just a thought)

do you have interests outwith work and family life?
medication is good as a stepping stone towards getting back to your old self but I understand how you feel about it.

[agnes]

Hello judeswan

I've had a similar experience with driving in the past. It's not the actual driving experience, it's another symptom of anxiety, but, when you're going through it, knowing it's a symptom doesn't really help. What may help is to know it will pass. Over the years I have driven my car and been so scared of getting stuck in a traffic jam (in case I get the full blown anxiety symptoms whilst I'm sat there) and have even got home and worried that I may have knocked someone over without realising it! My worries have merely served to fuel the anxiety and make me more anxious about driving.

You seem to be really going through it at present. Perhaps you can reconsider a visit to your GP? It may ease some of your symptoms if you can tell her/him about how you're feeling. You may be able to go for some counselling. And well, if the GP suggests medication again, why not consider it as a short term measure to help you through? We all need help sometimes. And Claire Weekes' books are excellent.