dante
08-12-09, 19:09
well i have anxiety, it all started with panic attacks a few years back, due to the fact i was overworked, was working 12 hr days 7 days a week. the panic attacks caused this feeling of doom and gloom, just like i was waiting for something to happen. i had no idea what it was, had this feeling daily. i still carried on working, in the state of anxiety our brain is like a sponge we take in every little thing and examine it, i looked up online about it and read that u can have irrational thoughts, even thoughts about harming your loved ones, well that scared me and was so scared of having these thoughts that in the end i started haveing them, which some people say is ocd but there no diffrence between ocd and anxiety it just means we obsess on thoughts is all.
so my doc gave me anti deppressants since i was feeling down, but i carried on working, and started to feel well again, then one job i was working on i made the mistake of telling them i was on anti deppressants and they turned round and said did u here about the guy who was on them and killed his whole family, since i was so worried about haveing thoughts of harming my family i got so anxious, and when u get anxious nothing seems believable, so i live with the thoughts every day now that what if i harm my family, i get up which is always worse in the morning. the thoughts are there.
i know we all suffer from anxiety, some people find peace at home, i wish i did thats when i am at my worse. but i understand this, anxiety we cant fight, fear we cant fight, anxiety is just fear. i am still not there yet but i understand that we have no control over our thoughts, or our fears, all we can do is accept they are there and they are gonna be with us. and just move on with our lives.i fear the thoughts of harming my family so much that they are always there, like any fear its there because we fear it, if we learn not to fear it, it will be there as a memory, and only time can fade a memory.
so when u feel like u are never gonna be the same again remember u will with time, when u feel safe in your home enjoy that moment, but face your fears, even for a second, face it and stand tall, people with anxiety suffer so much and yet are so tough to face there fears daily.
be proud u face your anxiety, be proud when u step out the door and face your fear, be proud when u go see the therapist even tho u are scared.
be proud of every achievement, how ever small.
i struggle every day, i fear my mind every day, i feel like a diffrent person like my mind has a life of its own. but at the end of the day life is worth the pain and u will get better just believe.
so my doc gave me anti deppressants since i was feeling down, but i carried on working, and started to feel well again, then one job i was working on i made the mistake of telling them i was on anti deppressants and they turned round and said did u here about the guy who was on them and killed his whole family, since i was so worried about haveing thoughts of harming my family i got so anxious, and when u get anxious nothing seems believable, so i live with the thoughts every day now that what if i harm my family, i get up which is always worse in the morning. the thoughts are there.
i know we all suffer from anxiety, some people find peace at home, i wish i did thats when i am at my worse. but i understand this, anxiety we cant fight, fear we cant fight, anxiety is just fear. i am still not there yet but i understand that we have no control over our thoughts, or our fears, all we can do is accept they are there and they are gonna be with us. and just move on with our lives.i fear the thoughts of harming my family so much that they are always there, like any fear its there because we fear it, if we learn not to fear it, it will be there as a memory, and only time can fade a memory.
so when u feel like u are never gonna be the same again remember u will with time, when u feel safe in your home enjoy that moment, but face your fears, even for a second, face it and stand tall, people with anxiety suffer so much and yet are so tough to face there fears daily.
be proud u face your anxiety, be proud when u step out the door and face your fear, be proud when u go see the therapist even tho u are scared.
be proud of every achievement, how ever small.
i struggle every day, i fear my mind every day, i feel like a diffrent person like my mind has a life of its own. but at the end of the day life is worth the pain and u will get better just believe.