Would love for someone to understand

[hugs]

Hello everyone, I've posted a couple of times on here but haven't received the response that I need in order to know for definite that I'm not completely alone. I've read post after post and other things on google (which is bad in itself) but I just can't find anyone or anything about what I'm going through. I've been suffering for a year and after seeing my gp and a counsellor I'm still stuck in the same place and I've just had enough of it I need it to go away.

My problem is with my head, I think about it 24/7 and I have a phobia of brain tumours, haemerages, anurysms, stroke etc this will sound familiar to everyone with anxiety I know but the thing is because I am so constantly aware of my head I bring on shooting pains, throbbing aches and pressure/swelling feelings in my head just by thinking about it and this is all day every day, my head is aching by the end of the day. I get shooting pains downs my back too. Everytime I think I'm going to feel another pain I try to breathe fast so I don't get the sensation or I'll touch my nose or flick my hair (almost like a tick) to try and distract my attention from feeling the pain. Every day I say to myself 'ok I'm not scared anymore, this pain can come as often as it likes, I'm never going to be scared of it again' but then as soon as the pains come on again I get upset because I am so frightened that eventually my head will get tired of this and I will die. This brings on other forms of anxiety that are probably more common feelings. I can't concentrate on anything, what peole are saying to me, what I'm doing, watching telly etc I am just constantly thinking about my head feeling tense and bringing on these pains.

I am so happy in my life in general I just need to get over this!!

Please can anybody relate?? I'm really desperate now xxx

[bottleblond]

Hi hugs

Ok...the thing with this is (i think) is the pain is bringing on the anxiety but vice versa too...the anxiety can be triggering the pain. If the fear has already set in then it is very difficult to reason with it. These types of pains can be cause by so many things..eye strain, stress, tension, anxiety ect ect ect and the cause of it is more than likely something quite trivial rather than serious.

You see you are setting a pattern here by flicking the hair ect because you are worrying about getting another pain but by doing this, you are thinking about the sensation you fear the most and that is more likely to bring it on rather than anything else.

I think the key with these types of issues is acceptance! If you have been to your GP and they have assured you that there is no underlying problem, then difficult as it is, you have to try to accept that and and keep telling yourself that it is only a sensation and can't harm you.

I hope you get more replies hun and please try not to worry!
Best of luck
Lisa
x

[debs180]

Hi there,
You are most definatley not alone..... you have described ME!! I have become totally obsessed with my head issues, like yourself i think im bringing all the aches, pains, pressures in my head myself. I too am scared of tumors etc, and i cant shake this feeling off. I have had a continous headache for almost 5 weeks now, alot of pressure and abit of dizziness. Its frightening......i tell myself every morning "its anxiety", "you can get over this" and i feel good for all of 5 mins, until i feel the throb of my headache again.
Please feel free to PM me anytime........you are not alone!
Take care,
Debs xx

[Paperheart]

I absolutely understand. I have suffered with this for 11 years now and have experienced exactly what you are describing. At times my head was so full of awful and frightening thoughts about illness that I had no room for anything else like conversations or reading a book. In the end I was so desperate I took the medication (seroxat and citalopram) the doctor perscribed even though it scared me to take it and I have never regreted it one bit. My life is still hard at times and I am still worried about health but I can manage it better so never dispare - things can and will get better. I never found a counsellor any use to be honest and I have seen quite a few so don't be hard on yourself if this method of treatment doesn't seem to be working.

Stop reading google!! It is bad - instead check out your symptoms on the forum here, that always reassures me. I also sometimes make myself think 'if I told a doctor my symptoms now, what would he say' and usually the answer is 'anxiety'. Sorry for such a long post and the bad spelling but I just wanted you to know you are not alone - there are loads of us out here!! Things will improve for you. Have you considered medication? - it really saved me and may be worth a try but it has to be your dicision.

[Cazziebloom]

Hey I have the same issues with my head. Some days I feel good and positive other days just a ache in my head and I start worrying, it's the worst. Hope it helps to know you are not alone, there are a lot of us out there that feel the same way...

I'm even more paranoid since they discovered a growth on my pituitary gland by accident (no symptons) in June of this year, via catscan. I had it removed in July and have to go for my six monthly check up soon. But it's made me so anxious and any symptons i have to do with me head gets me even more worried and I start to imagine the worst... So know that you not alone and a lot of / most of what we are experiencing is anxiety. Try to take your mind off it, I know it's easier said than done, but doesn't help to think about it all the time...try.....:)

[hugs]

A big thank you to everyone !!!! You've started my day with a big :)

Last night was terrible, I was in bed with my fiancee trying to watch the telly but I couldn't keep still because I knew that if I was still for one moment I would get a pain in my head, I was exhausted. I totally agree with you bottleblond this kind of anxiety is just one big loop and I can't escape it. It's because I love my life so much and I'm terrified of dying by something I had control over but I can't move on because I'm convinced (despite everyone saying otherwise) that I've already damaged my brain by doing this and my days are now numbered (it's stupid I know). I've decided to go back to the doctors because even if there was no chance of dying over this it's still really ruining the quality of my life because the pain, tension and obssession is just too much. I don't want to take medication because I would like to try for another baby after my wedding next year but I'm also scared that if I do recover now it will just come back when I start trying for a baby because that's how it started when I fell pregnant with my son, it might trigger the memory. My counseller kept looking at me as if I was wierd and she didn't offer the reassurance that I needed so much.

Thank you again everyone, I really do appreciate it, your responses have made me feel a lot better inside :yesyes: xxxx

[Sweetpea6]

Hi, I'm afraid I don't have a solution, but you have my support and understanding. Loops can be broken. I didn't think I'd ever be able to break mine, but it's gradually happening. I think also don't pressurise yourself to 'get better' by a certain point- it will happen in time. Keep going- one day you'll surprise yourself by realising it's all over. xxx

[bottleblond]

I think it is fantastic that you are making all these positive plans for the future, it just shows that you are a tough little cookie and you won't let this stop you from having a bright, happy future!!

You go gal :yesyes:
Love Lisa
xx