Lou 1
09-12-09, 03:52
I really feel like im going mad and i really feel like i cant cope with this anymore
I constantly worry about my health - i have always been pretty health concious but never worried to the extent that i do now!
I had my first panic attack when i was 17 (im now 23) and with help i was able to overcome them and was panic free up until recently..
My best friend passed away suddenly - she fell down some stairs at work which caused a bleed to her brain!
I know its hard for anyone to lose somebody close to them but i feel that since she passed away i really have become so much more anxious about my health!
I've had a lot more panic attacks and after A LOT of trips to my gp i slowly started to beleive that what i was experiencing were panick attacks and i started to feel i could cope.
Then one evening when my mind began to wonder, i was feeling my neck and came accross two lumps one on the left and one on the right (which i'd had for 6 or 7 years and i was told back then they were lymph nodes) these lumps had never bothered me before but for some reason afer 're-discovering' them i have become literally obsessed!
I have now been to see 4 GP's who have felt these lumps and re-confirmed they are lymph nodes, i was told that they werent of a size to be considered abnormal and i wouldnt be sent for futher tests - however to put my mind at rest i was sent for blood tests (which came back normal)
I felt fine for a few days then suddenly started to worry about them and though i'd check it out on google..
Well it brought up all kinds of things and one thing i cant stop thinking about and obsessing over is Hodgkinsons disease
I very stupidly was reading all about the symptoms and was thinking no i dont have that symptom or that and then on the list was 'itching' .. i then started to think hmmm come to think of it, i was a little itchy yesterday - and now i cant get this out of my mind :(
Is it possible to convince yourself you have symptoms when you dont?
I am constantly feeling these lumps in my neck and always want to feel the neck of my parnter and family, they have the lumps but they are smaller than mine! i mean i check like ever ten mins for the whole day - im so convinced that i have something horrible and even though i've seen several GP'S im convinced that maybe they didnt feel my neck right or maybe they're not qualified enough to know if i have something serious!
I really do think i'm going crazy and feel like this is ruining my life.. i cant eat or sleep and i feel so emotional all of the time.
I've just started CBT and im hoping this will help
I know this is a loooong post but i just really need to get this of off my chest.
Thanks for reading
Claire x
I constantly worry about my health - i have always been pretty health concious but never worried to the extent that i do now!
I had my first panic attack when i was 17 (im now 23) and with help i was able to overcome them and was panic free up until recently..
My best friend passed away suddenly - she fell down some stairs at work which caused a bleed to her brain!
I know its hard for anyone to lose somebody close to them but i feel that since she passed away i really have become so much more anxious about my health!
I've had a lot more panic attacks and after A LOT of trips to my gp i slowly started to beleive that what i was experiencing were panick attacks and i started to feel i could cope.
Then one evening when my mind began to wonder, i was feeling my neck and came accross two lumps one on the left and one on the right (which i'd had for 6 or 7 years and i was told back then they were lymph nodes) these lumps had never bothered me before but for some reason afer 're-discovering' them i have become literally obsessed!
I have now been to see 4 GP's who have felt these lumps and re-confirmed they are lymph nodes, i was told that they werent of a size to be considered abnormal and i wouldnt be sent for futher tests - however to put my mind at rest i was sent for blood tests (which came back normal)
I felt fine for a few days then suddenly started to worry about them and though i'd check it out on google..
Well it brought up all kinds of things and one thing i cant stop thinking about and obsessing over is Hodgkinsons disease
I very stupidly was reading all about the symptoms and was thinking no i dont have that symptom or that and then on the list was 'itching' .. i then started to think hmmm come to think of it, i was a little itchy yesterday - and now i cant get this out of my mind :(
Is it possible to convince yourself you have symptoms when you dont?
I am constantly feeling these lumps in my neck and always want to feel the neck of my parnter and family, they have the lumps but they are smaller than mine! i mean i check like ever ten mins for the whole day - im so convinced that i have something horrible and even though i've seen several GP'S im convinced that maybe they didnt feel my neck right or maybe they're not qualified enough to know if i have something serious!
I really do think i'm going crazy and feel like this is ruining my life.. i cant eat or sleep and i feel so emotional all of the time.
I've just started CBT and im hoping this will help
I know this is a loooong post but i just really need to get this of off my chest.
Thanks for reading
Claire x