mummygarcia
09-12-09, 11:42
not scared for myself, just cant bear the thought of my daughter being made an orphan - am i kidding myself by thinking the following symptoms are all caused by anxiety - im seing my gp today, and think i will print this off - what do you think?
would appreciate any feedback or references to similar symptoms, experiences etc ..
i think i may have developed anxiety (health anxiety?) after losing a baby last year at 20 weeks gestation - i was over the moon to be pregnant, we had tried for so long - i thought all our prayers had been answered. i then sadly found out the baby had died at 20 weeks (no explanation - just one of those things) i couldnt get over that such a terrible thing could happen to us, it didnt seem real. i had to have a lot of time off work because of grief and depression and consequently didnt get paid, got behind with the mortgage and almost lost the house. at around the same time, various friends and family members became critically ill and i started to be plagued by negative thoughts, particularly obsessing about something happening to my daughter (aged 10) or myself, meaning that my daughter would be left motherless.
i then had to return to the job i hate, and have had to work with countless pregnant girls (approx 15) over the last 18 mths, which has been very hard to say the least - although im not bitter, i have to go through each stage of their pregnancy with them - then congratulate them etc, i feel as if its just too much in my face sometimes - a constant reminder of what could have been. i have since suffered another miscarriage at 8 weeks (around 10 weeks ago) although i think i coped with it pretty well .. the negative thoughts id had about the pregnancy ending, became a reality and so i was prepared for the worse
i saw my gp several months ago when i started to become forgetful, i couldnt concentrate, found it hard to sleep, got angry and had no patience whatsoever. i also started to self harm (hitting myself in the face and head) when i was frustrated and thought i could take bo more - i didnt mention this to my doctor as i was embarassed and thought she would section me! particularly as my husband and daughter had witnessed these episodes, but they are now far and few between, and i know they only occur when i am so completely overwhelmed with frustration and feel as if i will explode.
i have now developed a wide range of physical symptoms, some ive had before and they tend to come and go, others are new and very scary and very REAL to me - i almost feel as if i have some awful disease developing and this is basically my last christmas, i got really upset about this when i was decorating the xmas tree with my daughter over the weekend. my symptoms are as follows, they may or may not be caused by anxiety, i may have something seriously wrong with me .. but either way the symptoms and fear of them keep me awake at night, and are always there eating away at me
heart palpitations, ectopics & missed beats
i have had episodes of these on several occasions over the yrs, they do seem to appear when im stressed and have recently come back with a vengeance .i have these always, always at night. have never experienced them during the day, or whilst excercising. sometimes im woken from my sleep with a jump, almost as if my heart has stopped and jump started itself again. sometimes my heart just starts beating hard and fast and i am really aware of it. sometimes i feel as if im falling or am on a roller coaster ride. recently i had terrible heart palpitations and accompanied by a sharp pain in my heart, i almost felt as if a clot was trying to drag its way through .. this, along with my father having had a 3rd heart attack recently (perhaps the trigger?) really frightened me and prompted me to see my gp who referred me for an ect which came back normal - although im sure if i had 24 hr one, it would pick these episodes up as i have had 4 in the last week. still waiting for blood test results
pain and weird sensation in breast area
i have had random niggly pains in both breasts, but mostly left one - which i have always put down to hormones, but have recently developed sharp pain deep inside my left breast. with this the strangest sensation all over the breast area down to my left rib cage and left arm. hard to describe - sometimes dull nagging pain, sometimes heavy and numb, sometimes tingly almost pins and needles. had this for a full day which really worried me and now comes and goes, im experiencing it at the moment - i have it read could be anxiety, but just cant imagine this being the cause as it feels very, very real to me and as if something is seriously wrong. would really like to be referred for a mamogram, i have not obvious lumps but not sure how to check and my breasts always feel lumpy anyway!
pain and weird sensation down left arm
a weird pain nagging pain and sensation as described above which radiates down my left arm and appears to pool around my elbow. although my arm sometimes feels heavy and numb i can use it - i worry i may have had a mini stroke, had it for a whole day just recently
pain in left thigh / behind the knee
another symptom that comes and goes. i have a pain / burning / tingling sensation in a small area to the front of my left thigh. it comes in and goes, ie i may get it for several weeks or months then seems to disappear completely (unless i get used to it and dont otice i have it anymore?)
its not dibilitating, just bothersome and makes me worry , i have noticed it is somehow linked to the heart palpitations and they seem to come together, in fact when i experienced the pain in my heart the other day, it was followed by a sharp pain in the thigh - so of course id told myself the clot had made it through my heart and was now struggling to get through a vein in my thigh!
i can pin point when this particular pain originally started .. about 15 yrs ago, a large bruise appeared on the area with 2 tiny lumps underneath, i didnt recall having knocked it or fallen over etc .. and explained this to the professional i was referred to and who later said it was caused by stress. but i then noticed that when i spoke with people on the phone at work, i rested my elbow on this particular area and it was kind of digging in - could i have perhaps caused trauma to the area that way and damaged a nerve, or vein ? also i have a knotty vein to the right of the area, could this be restricting blood flow ? havent always had this vein, it has developed over time and im pretty sure didnt have it when the pain first started.
anyway, the pain / tingling is back - comes often, and seems to be more profound than usual
i also have random pains behind my left knee, not often but thought id mention it as they always seem to be in the same area
random niggly pains
ok we all get these from time to time, but these pains always seem to be in the same area - although they come and go.
niggly pain deep inside my left breast
niggly pain under and below my left rib
niggly pain in ovary area to the right - had this loads with my last pregnancy
niggly pain under my left rib
had a niggly pain in my left jaw when had a recent episode of all left sided pain, inc the all day pins / needles incident in my breast / left arm
forgetfulness, unable to concentrate, no patience
as the title says, have all three in varying degrees .. sometimes i feel ready to check myself into the local old folks home! other times i feel fine, my husband and daughter think it funny and comment when i say the wrong word, forget things but its scares me, although im tending to think it probably is caused by stress as it seems worse when i have lots going on
anger, moodiness, negative thoughts
sometimes i dont recognise myself, i can be completely unreasonable, irrational, blow at the smallest thing .. im surprised my husband stays and puts up with me
depression i guess, although i sometimes feel as if the negative thoughts are bordering on madness! really, really cant shake off the feeling of impending doom, i have had such an awful 18 months, and have been let down so much i just cant imagine anything positive or good happening to me - in fact the complete opposite.
in fact when i found out i was recently pregnant - i was convinced it would end in miscarriage, it did - thus reinforcing this awful feeling of doom . but there must be a little glimmer of light or hope there somewhere as i have decided to take the bull by the horns, seek medical and try and move forward
overeating
i thought i was being a pig, im not usually hungry but just cant stop stuffing my face - is this anxiety related?
would appreciate any feedback or references to similar symptoms, experiences etc ..
i think i may have developed anxiety (health anxiety?) after losing a baby last year at 20 weeks gestation - i was over the moon to be pregnant, we had tried for so long - i thought all our prayers had been answered. i then sadly found out the baby had died at 20 weeks (no explanation - just one of those things) i couldnt get over that such a terrible thing could happen to us, it didnt seem real. i had to have a lot of time off work because of grief and depression and consequently didnt get paid, got behind with the mortgage and almost lost the house. at around the same time, various friends and family members became critically ill and i started to be plagued by negative thoughts, particularly obsessing about something happening to my daughter (aged 10) or myself, meaning that my daughter would be left motherless.
i then had to return to the job i hate, and have had to work with countless pregnant girls (approx 15) over the last 18 mths, which has been very hard to say the least - although im not bitter, i have to go through each stage of their pregnancy with them - then congratulate them etc, i feel as if its just too much in my face sometimes - a constant reminder of what could have been. i have since suffered another miscarriage at 8 weeks (around 10 weeks ago) although i think i coped with it pretty well .. the negative thoughts id had about the pregnancy ending, became a reality and so i was prepared for the worse
i saw my gp several months ago when i started to become forgetful, i couldnt concentrate, found it hard to sleep, got angry and had no patience whatsoever. i also started to self harm (hitting myself in the face and head) when i was frustrated and thought i could take bo more - i didnt mention this to my doctor as i was embarassed and thought she would section me! particularly as my husband and daughter had witnessed these episodes, but they are now far and few between, and i know they only occur when i am so completely overwhelmed with frustration and feel as if i will explode.
i have now developed a wide range of physical symptoms, some ive had before and they tend to come and go, others are new and very scary and very REAL to me - i almost feel as if i have some awful disease developing and this is basically my last christmas, i got really upset about this when i was decorating the xmas tree with my daughter over the weekend. my symptoms are as follows, they may or may not be caused by anxiety, i may have something seriously wrong with me .. but either way the symptoms and fear of them keep me awake at night, and are always there eating away at me
heart palpitations, ectopics & missed beats
i have had episodes of these on several occasions over the yrs, they do seem to appear when im stressed and have recently come back with a vengeance .i have these always, always at night. have never experienced them during the day, or whilst excercising. sometimes im woken from my sleep with a jump, almost as if my heart has stopped and jump started itself again. sometimes my heart just starts beating hard and fast and i am really aware of it. sometimes i feel as if im falling or am on a roller coaster ride. recently i had terrible heart palpitations and accompanied by a sharp pain in my heart, i almost felt as if a clot was trying to drag its way through .. this, along with my father having had a 3rd heart attack recently (perhaps the trigger?) really frightened me and prompted me to see my gp who referred me for an ect which came back normal - although im sure if i had 24 hr one, it would pick these episodes up as i have had 4 in the last week. still waiting for blood test results
pain and weird sensation in breast area
i have had random niggly pains in both breasts, but mostly left one - which i have always put down to hormones, but have recently developed sharp pain deep inside my left breast. with this the strangest sensation all over the breast area down to my left rib cage and left arm. hard to describe - sometimes dull nagging pain, sometimes heavy and numb, sometimes tingly almost pins and needles. had this for a full day which really worried me and now comes and goes, im experiencing it at the moment - i have it read could be anxiety, but just cant imagine this being the cause as it feels very, very real to me and as if something is seriously wrong. would really like to be referred for a mamogram, i have not obvious lumps but not sure how to check and my breasts always feel lumpy anyway!
pain and weird sensation down left arm
a weird pain nagging pain and sensation as described above which radiates down my left arm and appears to pool around my elbow. although my arm sometimes feels heavy and numb i can use it - i worry i may have had a mini stroke, had it for a whole day just recently
pain in left thigh / behind the knee
another symptom that comes and goes. i have a pain / burning / tingling sensation in a small area to the front of my left thigh. it comes in and goes, ie i may get it for several weeks or months then seems to disappear completely (unless i get used to it and dont otice i have it anymore?)
its not dibilitating, just bothersome and makes me worry , i have noticed it is somehow linked to the heart palpitations and they seem to come together, in fact when i experienced the pain in my heart the other day, it was followed by a sharp pain in the thigh - so of course id told myself the clot had made it through my heart and was now struggling to get through a vein in my thigh!
i can pin point when this particular pain originally started .. about 15 yrs ago, a large bruise appeared on the area with 2 tiny lumps underneath, i didnt recall having knocked it or fallen over etc .. and explained this to the professional i was referred to and who later said it was caused by stress. but i then noticed that when i spoke with people on the phone at work, i rested my elbow on this particular area and it was kind of digging in - could i have perhaps caused trauma to the area that way and damaged a nerve, or vein ? also i have a knotty vein to the right of the area, could this be restricting blood flow ? havent always had this vein, it has developed over time and im pretty sure didnt have it when the pain first started.
anyway, the pain / tingling is back - comes often, and seems to be more profound than usual
i also have random pains behind my left knee, not often but thought id mention it as they always seem to be in the same area
random niggly pains
ok we all get these from time to time, but these pains always seem to be in the same area - although they come and go.
niggly pain deep inside my left breast
niggly pain under and below my left rib
niggly pain in ovary area to the right - had this loads with my last pregnancy
niggly pain under my left rib
had a niggly pain in my left jaw when had a recent episode of all left sided pain, inc the all day pins / needles incident in my breast / left arm
forgetfulness, unable to concentrate, no patience
as the title says, have all three in varying degrees .. sometimes i feel ready to check myself into the local old folks home! other times i feel fine, my husband and daughter think it funny and comment when i say the wrong word, forget things but its scares me, although im tending to think it probably is caused by stress as it seems worse when i have lots going on
anger, moodiness, negative thoughts
sometimes i dont recognise myself, i can be completely unreasonable, irrational, blow at the smallest thing .. im surprised my husband stays and puts up with me
depression i guess, although i sometimes feel as if the negative thoughts are bordering on madness! really, really cant shake off the feeling of impending doom, i have had such an awful 18 months, and have been let down so much i just cant imagine anything positive or good happening to me - in fact the complete opposite.
in fact when i found out i was recently pregnant - i was convinced it would end in miscarriage, it did - thus reinforcing this awful feeling of doom . but there must be a little glimmer of light or hope there somewhere as i have decided to take the bull by the horns, seek medical and try and move forward
overeating
i thought i was being a pig, im not usually hungry but just cant stop stuffing my face - is this anxiety related?