Fears Coming True

[lamentinglaura]

I went to see my physiotherapist today and she agreed that there's something neurological going on with me. I've been feeling like crap for months but my doctor has been blowing me off by calling everything anxiety. I finally have an appointment for my lung CT scan, it's for Jan 11th. Now I'll have more to obsess upon until that day arrives. The fact of the matter is that hypochondriacs get sick too and I'm terrified that I'm one of them. I have to work this afternoon and I'm feeling weak, tired, spacey, and my vision is blurry. How will I ever cope on the job with this going on. I'm so upset.

[margaret jones]

Hi Sorry you are feeling so poorly hope your feeling better soon Maybe when you have had all your tests you will be feeling a lot stronger Re Hypochondriacs yes we do get ill i understand your thinking on that .

Take Care Margaret
ps sorry could not offer anything more positive xx

[lamentinglaura]

Thanks, it's always nice to have a response

[Sweetpea6]

Hi Laura,

I have no solid advice or answers, but my thoughts are with you. I hope it will work out ok in the end. Much love xxx

[lamentinglaura]

Thanks Sweetpea

[Mander]

I hope you feel better soon. I guess it's scary to have an actual serious diagnosis, but I wonder whether knowing that something actually *is* wrong will actually be helpful? I'm just speculating, but maybe by allowing you to treat whatever the illness is, you will get better, as well as being able to pinpoint which sensations are part of the illness and which ones are due to anxiety?

[lamentinglaura]

That's the weird thing, Mander. I've been experiencing symptoms in my right arm that are very inconsistent. They change all the time but I kind of figured they were neural in nature. The physiotherapist agreed that something neural is going on but she doesn't know what. We're going to continue with treatment for awhile and see if it improves, if not then we'll have to move on to the next step ... not sure what that will be. My mind is going crazy with all kinds of horrible thoughts ... is it lung cancer that has spread (I was a heavy smoker for years), is it MS, ALS, some other serious neurological problem? I had a lung x-ray done in October that was clear but I asked my doctor for a CT scan because some lung cancers don't show up in regular x-rays. I had a CT scan done last winter which was fine. My new one will be done on Jan 11th. I'm terrified of what might show up. I'm to the point now that I don't know what is anxiety and what are actual symptoms. I feel like I'm losing my mind.

[Typer]

Although your physiotherapist thinks there may be something going on...I hope you will be reassured that a physiotherapist could only go by the symptoms you tell her about, but she/he could not possibly know if there is something neuro going on. I dont want to put his/her thoughts down, but since then it sounds like you have had those awful anx symptoms. Boy I know how bad they are and are very like the ones you describe.

I hope she/he is wrong and just taking a wild guess. I hope everything comes back normal and dandy. Take care

[lamentinglaura]

Thanks Typer

[Typer]

You take care now...believe it when you see it.

[Gaza]

The amazing thing I am finding everyday when I visit this forum is the amount of people who are a lot stronger than they think, what we all endure and survive with is incredible. You mentioned weak, tired, spacey, and blurry vision, this too is my main complaint, amongst the many other anxiety related problems and yet we all soldier on, day after day, concerned and afraid, but we take those steps everyday...absolutely outstanding.

You my friend will find that inner strength and I just know that you'll make it. Your courage, your heart and soul have endured so much that you have an inner ability like no other. Dr Claire Weekes book reflects upon it like this, those with self assertiveness are more vulnerable as they are under the illusion that this is self confidence. You like so many others on here, including myself have been put to the test many times and therefore have felt an almost nothingness deep within ourselves which has become a valuable lesson of self knowledge that helps us venture through our daily life. (Please read Dr Claire Weekes book - Peace from Nervous Suffering for further clarification)