Corinna
11-12-09, 13:22
Hi all.
I registed here aaaagggges ago when I was in hospital back in Feb of this year. In a nutshell, I've suffered from bad depression & anxiety for many years mainly due to my infertility & my Dad & Step-Mums suicide 10 years ago. My anxiety & depression comes in waves and for the past few years I've managed to control it so it. I guess I just got "used" to it being a part of my life. Anyway, thanks to the miracle of IVF treatment, I gave birth to my gorgeous twins 18 months ago. These were very much wanted babies and finding out I was finally pregnant on our 4th attempt at treatment was probably one of the best days of my life. Unfortunatly, as soon as they were born, my anxiety & depression hit me like a ton of bricks. It got to the stage that my psychiatrist felt that I was a danger to myself & I ended up on a post natal depression unit for 7 weeks. It was a very, very dark time for me & my family. I didn't for ONE minute think that I was going to come out the other side and my husband has since told me that he was convinced that I was going to leave him without a wife and my children without a Mother. I still see my psychiatrist every 6 weeks, a psychologist every week for CBT, a CPN comes to my house every couple of weeks and I'm on tons of meds for depression & anxiety.
Anyway, the most frustrating thing for me is trying to explain to people how I'm feeling when I'm having a bad day. I know how I feel, & all I feel is complete & utter doom & an overwhelming feeling of just NOT wanting to be here-living this hell. No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to put my "symptoms" into words which is a nightmare when my psychiatrist is pressing me for details on how I'm feeling.
Is this just me or do others feel like this. Would just be interesed to know.
Lots of love to all.
Corinna xx
I registed here aaaagggges ago when I was in hospital back in Feb of this year. In a nutshell, I've suffered from bad depression & anxiety for many years mainly due to my infertility & my Dad & Step-Mums suicide 10 years ago. My anxiety & depression comes in waves and for the past few years I've managed to control it so it. I guess I just got "used" to it being a part of my life. Anyway, thanks to the miracle of IVF treatment, I gave birth to my gorgeous twins 18 months ago. These were very much wanted babies and finding out I was finally pregnant on our 4th attempt at treatment was probably one of the best days of my life. Unfortunatly, as soon as they were born, my anxiety & depression hit me like a ton of bricks. It got to the stage that my psychiatrist felt that I was a danger to myself & I ended up on a post natal depression unit for 7 weeks. It was a very, very dark time for me & my family. I didn't for ONE minute think that I was going to come out the other side and my husband has since told me that he was convinced that I was going to leave him without a wife and my children without a Mother. I still see my psychiatrist every 6 weeks, a psychologist every week for CBT, a CPN comes to my house every couple of weeks and I'm on tons of meds for depression & anxiety.
Anyway, the most frustrating thing for me is trying to explain to people how I'm feeling when I'm having a bad day. I know how I feel, & all I feel is complete & utter doom & an overwhelming feeling of just NOT wanting to be here-living this hell. No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to put my "symptoms" into words which is a nightmare when my psychiatrist is pressing me for details on how I'm feeling.
Is this just me or do others feel like this. Would just be interesed to know.
Lots of love to all.
Corinna xx