Had a bad night, Mum doesn't understand

[Ikari]

To end a rough week where my anxiety has really hit me hard, last night was the worst yet - Yesterday evening I couldn't eat without retching so I gave up in the end, and come night time I barely slept at all I was constantly bombarded with thoughts I couldn't get rid of while feeling sick the whole time. It feels like I'm slipping deeper and deeper into a hole that I just can't get out of, my brain won't shut up with negative thoughts no matter what I try.

To make things worse, this morning I explained to my Mum that I'd had a rough night and why, and the first thing she said was "it's really going to spoil Christmas if you're like this all the time". She also complained about the Christmas card she gave me yesterday not cheering me up, as though it should somehow have solved all my problems, and then told me how she hates cooking food thinking I might not eat it all when she made my breakfast.

I feel physically and mentally at an all-time low right now, and I don't even feel like I have anyone I can talk to about it - I'm sure my Mum means well but she's only making things worse, and my Dad just doesn't even talk about this kind of stuff. I feel so trapped within my own mind right now I don't know where to turn.... :weep:

[cascade70]

First of all you should speak to your GP, i know that you are from the UK so he or she will be able to refer you for some conselling, dont hold back make an appointment as soon as possilbe because i left it for months before accepting that i needed help. You probably will not need any medication but what will help is that you will learn to challenge your negative thoughts through therapy and that will take you on the road to recovery

[Ikari]

I have an appointment with my GP on Tuesday afternoon, but right now that feels so long away, and the wait probably isn't helping my anxiety either! I'm hoping he'll suggest something other than medication, as I really don't want to go down that road.

[panicattack247]

the medication isnt a big deal. It really does help and the side effects aren't really that bad

[Mya]

Hi Ikari,

I feel just as you. I believe my family is losing patience too and my worst fear is losing my husband over this. I am in therapy and not on any medication either. I was feeling better but now I am sloping into a dark place again. My doctor is having me journal my thoughts, but mind is racing faster than I can keep track. I feel like the anxiety is disappearing and now this is the beginning of a deep depression. Sorry to be negative, I just want to share you are not alone. I have an appointment on Monday with my doctor and I hate to admit but now I think I may have to resort to medication. I wish you the best and try to keep your chin up.

[Anxious_gal]

I get you, my mum and my whole family are like that, although my mum isn't too bad but still she can be quite cruel at times.
I have noticed people are selfish, you mum see's your anxiety as interfering with her happiness, as in spoiling Christmas.
I have been unconsciously mean to people too when i feel they are bring me down, interfering with my happiness.
i don't mean this as an attack on you, just that being selfish is natural, it is instinct.
plus your mum doesn't understand and I know that is not an excuse for her not trying to be compassionate and supportive.
i feel your pain i really do.
It is heart breaking and frustrating when you so desperately need support from your parents and instead you get coldness or mean comments.
or worse just brushed off as being too sensitive......
best thing to do is use this forum, and find a friend, anyone who will listen and support you.
my best friend is always there at the times I'm most lonely n anxious and just need someone to be there for me.

[messianictalmud]

Hi Ikari sorry what your going through is being made tougher by your Mum etc.
I think your right your mum means well, I just think sometimes our close friends & family really do want to help us and support but I think they find it hard..lack of understanding on anxiety & panic disorders etc.
One of my friends has admitted to my wife that he wants to support me but just doesn't know how to.
Do you have any other family members that you feel would listen to you that you could confide in ?
Tuesday ,may feel like a long way off, but NMP is here 24/7 and if you had to you can ring the Samaritans to talk to someone in the meantime.

Hope things improve soon for you.

[Ikari]

Unfortunately I don't really have anyone else to talk to outside of my parents, and I realise that nobody can change the way I feel, I have to do that myself, but at the moment I can't find where to start.

[Logan_Five]

It's good that you are going to see your GP. Don't be frightened by meds - they can be a massive help, although they aren't and shouldn't be the only solution. Ask to be referred for counselling/CBT. Do you have any other friends or family that you could talk to?

Hang on in there - this can be beaten! :hugs:

[BabyRachel]

It sounds like your mum doesnt understand how hard anxiety is. Thats okay, not her fault. My suggestion is writing it all down maybe in a letter for her, telling her how it makes u feel, ad how it makes u feel when she speaks to you like that... Maybe find some literature on anxiety that she can read so she understands more...

xx

[Typer]

The problem for parents and family, is I think, generally they just don't know what to do - feel they should know how to help but feel useless. Then they can become frustrated, angry and just want the situation to disappear.

This makes things worse because I guess all people want is someone to be there and comfort, not have the answers or make it right. Just a hug or a look that says, I understand. I just don't think people close to us are able to do that - they are too affected by what is happening. This is where counselling can be helpful and family counselling could also help families to understand and even help