Jimpy
13-12-09, 15:06
Hi everyone,
I am quite new to this site and have already found it such a comfort.
Sorry for a long post but have to get this written out.
Recently whilst watching a movie and (seemingly!) out of the blue I suffered a panic attack and ended up in an Ambulance thinking what looks to be what alot of people think, that I was having a heart attack. The paramedics where exellent and calmed me down a bit and I went home. All that night and the following couple of weeks I had reoccuring panic attacks. My Dr has signed me off work for 6 weeks (which finishes next week) and at points I have felt like I was losing it. I already feel I have lost the 'normal' me and now I need to rebuild myself from the ground up, thoughts are overwhelming me and any small task can be blown out of proportion.
The panic attacks have (thankfully) subsided a little but have been replaced by an anxiety for my health that I have never had. I know from reading through these posts that I am not alone in this but sometimes I feel like at any point I am just going to collapse. Every small twinge or change in my body and my anxiety ratches up to such a level that I can hardly speak to anyone. I withdraw into my shell and obsessivly check and recheck my symptoms. Last week I thought I was making progress until I felt a tightness in my chest whilst out shopping and that was it, home/upstairs/quiettime/watching/waiting/analysing/risingpanic/ then a trip to A + E! I was attached to the heart monitor and BP was high. More panic. The Dr had a word with me and said my readouts where fine, he was understanding and asked if I would go for a walk and come back. Like magic the tightness was gone! I went home and thought I would be ok.
My partner has suffered the most from all of this, the other night she booked us into a hotel (anxiety increase knowing I was spending a night away from my self made 'sanctury' of my bed) and we decided to go for a nice meal before hand. All was going well, was a little tense but ok, then I felt my left hand and for some reason it was colder than my right. This was about to spark off a major panic when I suddenly just broke down crying, it had all got way too much for me. Luckily we where sat away from everyone else, my partner just held my hand and I cried and cried. For a 26year old male who thought he was ok with life it was a shock. I felt so stupid and small for breaking down but at the same time I knew something had to give.
After about 30mins of crying I composed myself but still felt that out of control feeling like I was on the edge of losing for hours afterward. We went to the hotel and I slept ok but my heart made what felt like a whoosing feeling, almost like my chest was 'falling down' thats the only way I can describe it. It terrified me and after breaking down earlier in the evening, I was all out of coping mechanisms that I literally laid there shaking, my partner was wonderful and calmed me down again, I have no idea what it was?? I didn't get much more sleep that night
That was three days ago and still I am on edge with everything,
is there any hope to getting over this constant anxiety??? I am really at a loss and feel burnt out and sometimes just lost if you know what I mean?
Really sorry for the long post! just had to get it off my chest!
Thanks so much for reading
Jim
I am quite new to this site and have already found it such a comfort.
Sorry for a long post but have to get this written out.
Recently whilst watching a movie and (seemingly!) out of the blue I suffered a panic attack and ended up in an Ambulance thinking what looks to be what alot of people think, that I was having a heart attack. The paramedics where exellent and calmed me down a bit and I went home. All that night and the following couple of weeks I had reoccuring panic attacks. My Dr has signed me off work for 6 weeks (which finishes next week) and at points I have felt like I was losing it. I already feel I have lost the 'normal' me and now I need to rebuild myself from the ground up, thoughts are overwhelming me and any small task can be blown out of proportion.
The panic attacks have (thankfully) subsided a little but have been replaced by an anxiety for my health that I have never had. I know from reading through these posts that I am not alone in this but sometimes I feel like at any point I am just going to collapse. Every small twinge or change in my body and my anxiety ratches up to such a level that I can hardly speak to anyone. I withdraw into my shell and obsessivly check and recheck my symptoms. Last week I thought I was making progress until I felt a tightness in my chest whilst out shopping and that was it, home/upstairs/quiettime/watching/waiting/analysing/risingpanic/ then a trip to A + E! I was attached to the heart monitor and BP was high. More panic. The Dr had a word with me and said my readouts where fine, he was understanding and asked if I would go for a walk and come back. Like magic the tightness was gone! I went home and thought I would be ok.
My partner has suffered the most from all of this, the other night she booked us into a hotel (anxiety increase knowing I was spending a night away from my self made 'sanctury' of my bed) and we decided to go for a nice meal before hand. All was going well, was a little tense but ok, then I felt my left hand and for some reason it was colder than my right. This was about to spark off a major panic when I suddenly just broke down crying, it had all got way too much for me. Luckily we where sat away from everyone else, my partner just held my hand and I cried and cried. For a 26year old male who thought he was ok with life it was a shock. I felt so stupid and small for breaking down but at the same time I knew something had to give.
After about 30mins of crying I composed myself but still felt that out of control feeling like I was on the edge of losing for hours afterward. We went to the hotel and I slept ok but my heart made what felt like a whoosing feeling, almost like my chest was 'falling down' thats the only way I can describe it. It terrified me and after breaking down earlier in the evening, I was all out of coping mechanisms that I literally laid there shaking, my partner was wonderful and calmed me down again, I have no idea what it was?? I didn't get much more sleep that night
That was three days ago and still I am on edge with everything,
is there any hope to getting over this constant anxiety??? I am really at a loss and feel burnt out and sometimes just lost if you know what I mean?
Really sorry for the long post! just had to get it off my chest!
Thanks so much for reading
Jim