What becomes of the brokenhearted...

[lajjj]

cant belive am back hea! been sufferin from panic attacks for years earlier this year i joined this site as things were gettin really bad! but with the help of medication,cbt and good friends i was making a good recovery! but last week my long term b/friend of 3 and a half years sent me a text to say he had cheated on me! obviously i left him my daughter and i moved out...since then my panic attacks have came back worse than ever. my ex is threatenin to kill himself because i left! i keep shaking and my heart keeps skippin my stomach turns over and over i dont know how i am still standing and working ! how am i gonna get through this the panics are scaring me now i seriously think i am gonna die i am brokenhearted but determind not to go back but the whole thing is making me ill! help!

[PUGLETMUM]

:hugs:hi, im sorry this has happened, and i know how bad you will be feeling - but you are not going to die!!!!!!you feel like you are but you wont, you will feel very very ill, and that is okay - you are in shock and suffering fro m anxiety as a result. please please give yourself time to deal with this, dont go back to him in order to ease your anxiety, becasue i dont think it will work - its actually a very bad thing he has done to threaten suicide - infact it is abusive, and so is having an affair, so think very carefully whether you want to be with this guy and whether you will have peace of mind - you can gather support around yourself even if its only on here, to deal with this. you can come out of this much stronger, but in my opinion you need to realise how bad he has been to do these things to you - dont let your anxiety get mixed up with how we should all expect to be treated - with care and respect, take care, keep talking:hugs:

[ZoJo]

Hi lajjj,

You have been very, very strong in your awful situation. You have done an amazing brave step by walking away and so somewhere in you, you know what you have done is the right thing. You and your daughter are the priority and most important people in this. Emmas is right in saying what he has done is very bad and I presume he knows how you have suffered with panic attacks.
You are not going to die, you will be brokenhearted and you are feeling that pain. Having your heart broken is devastating, please be strong and it will take time, you have been hurt!
Take care of yourself and keep being strong x
:hugs:

[lajjj]

Thank you so much emma and zojo! i know what you both said is right ! and even tho i feel so bad now i cant go back its just tryin to deal with the anxiety again and remembering the stuff i learnt in the past to deal with it. i feel proud and strong for once maybe this will be the making of me! xxxxx:D

[suzy-sue]

[SIZE="3"Im sorry you are going through this Laura .A friend of mine had a husband who constantly cheated on her .She always took him back .He was always remorseful but kept on doing it .One day he did it once to often and she walked out .He took an overdose and she called the ambulance .They managed to save him .After this she went back to him yet again :lac:Things were ok for a while but he then he gave her an STD,as he was back to his old tricks .This ended the marriage and she went on later ,to meet someone who she is very happy with ,.What im trying to say to you Laura is dont let him blackmail you into going back ,Lepoards dont change their spots .Concentrate on getting back on track and your daughter .Give yourself time to grieve for your relationship its only natural even in these circumstances .You will get over the hurt this has caused you .believe me .It will make you stronger and more aware of what you want next time .Take care Sue x[/SIZE]:hugs:

[PUGLETMUM]

:hugs:brilliant last post - do you feel brokenhearted because he has behaved the way he has and hasnt turned out to be the person you thought he was?? if so you will get over that broken heartedness much quicker than if someone who wasnt a rat went out of your life - it is sooooo horrible now to feel like this, but guys like him will eventually destroy your own sense of who you are - hes done you a favour in letting you give him the elbow and yes i agree that although you have anxiety to deal with this WILL be the making of you, coz youll feel so proud you didnt put up with being taken for a mug, and you have protected your daughter from being around a damaging person:hugs:

[ZoJo]

lajjj - it WILL be the making of you and if you need any help on the anxiety front we are all here!!
Sending you oudles of positive thoughts and take care :hugs:

[lajjj]

THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH! i really value what you have to say , and today i have realised that my life is much better with out him! i do still feel brokenhearted about what has happend but more so because of the amount of work i have put in to the relationship and because he knew of the problems i have with anxiety /depression he couldnt understand it tho , he did try to support me and suggested i got help but turned his back on me when i was at my worst i should have left then! but now i think its all coming together and he was prob trying to control me. anyway its over now and my life has changed 4 the better! the battle with anxiety will continue but its a fight worth fighting for my self and my little girl. xxxxx

[london]

cant have a gun held to your head about killing his self dont fall for the blackmail
if he wants to kill his self its not your fault
whats next do dinner or kill my self the list gos on
your worth more than that if he upset let him go to girl he played away with
sory if it sounds hard but you cant just do things when people say them sort of things