View Full Version : need reassurance - please
I am feeling so ????? horrible!! weepy tired
Wake in the in absolute fear - too scared too get up.
trying to type - going giddy / have to take deep breath and turn from sceen, holding on to the desk. oh such fear.
my hands are sweaty - i am agitated
feel so scared
june
Sounds like your anxiety levels are really high. I have had days in work when i do not want to move from my desk because i think i am going to collaspe on the spot. Try and ride with it although i know that it can be difficult. The make an appointment with your GP because anxiety will affect your perfroamnce at work
:hugs:thank you for your reply:hugs:
ladybird64
18-12-09, 12:30
Awww, sorry to hear you're feeling rough June..that sounds like a really high anxiety..you're brave to try and type and not disappear back to bed!
Is there anything particular going on or is it just this time of the year?
I think we should have a "Christmas syndrome".:winks:
Love it or loathe it, it is always a time of elevated stress levels where things get on top of us very easily.
You know you have got support here :hugs:
:hugs:Hi ladybird - lots going on - hubby has headaches 19 weeks - doc sent him for MRI have to wait till week after Christmas for results - they also think he may have cancer sore on his face - have to wait till end of Jan for bi opsy. add this to my normal panic:weep:
My doc is sending up a prescription for Diazipam:weep:
Thank you for yoru reply
june
:hugs::hugs:
Hello June,
I am sorry you are having to cope with so much pressure, as you say it is hard especially when you are having to deal with your normal panic. Hopefully the Diazipam will take the edge off it for you. xxx
June it sounds to me that you might be hyperventilating, having to take that deep breath is a clue and that may be driving your anxiety and the symptoms you describe. Try and slow your breathing and see if that helps. Chronic Hyperventilation affects your blood acidity levels, in fact your blood goes alkaline and gives you major anxiety, exercise intolerance, giddiness, cold hands and feet, cold clammy sweats and panic attacks that come out of nowhere.
Hi June,
Sounds like you've got a lot on your plate.
I dont know if its much help, but when there's too much going on and the attacks get too much I try dropping anything thats not essential ( any self imposed deadlines or unimportant jobs that can be cancelled). If there's 6 things to fret about, remove one or two might allow the symptoms to ease up a little. Its only natural to worry about your fella, but you can only take things as they come, one day at a time. When one imagines what might happen in the the future, it is just that...' imaginary', but its a hard habit to break.
One day at a time.
Deon
:hugs:Thank you all for your positive replies:yesyes:
I agree that i have tried to stay positive and upbeat to protect the family.
I have (although suffering panic attack all my life) have always been the "rock" in a crisis.
At the moment i am feeling to old to carry on - Rosie - Diazipam is working but in calming me down - ALL my mucles?? and bones are unknotting and painful.:blush:
ronski - read your post and totally agree, i can see that now:blush:
Thank you all for your concern deon, i will certainly try your advice - sounds logical.
Best wishes
June
:hugs:
magic girl
24-12-09, 11:55
oh no june you poor thing i think you should phone your g.p a.s.p and explain what is happening they will give you something to get you through christmas.i phoned my psyciatrist on tuesday and begged for help as i don't think i can get through christmas and she was great she uped my medication slightly and gave me a few diazapam to get me through.your not alone june even though you feel like you are we are all here for you so keep us posted and take care:hugs::hugs:
:hugs:Just to update those of you that were so kind to me before Christmas.
Hubby's MRI scan on his brain was OK:yesyes:
BUT they saw something in the sinus - so instead of a joyous Christmas he had a nother MRI on the sinus and a week later a CT scan on the sinus.
Since 18 Dec the doc has had to up the meds as the headaches got worse:weep:they made him very sleepy and confused:weep:
This week we have been told that they have found a "lump of something" in the sinus cavity. They will have to do a biopsy - again another BUT - hubby is on warfarin and is very run down due to strong meds and exhaustion due to pain. They made us an app to see cancer specialist next week to discuss a diet plan (to build him up) and to go onto a warfarin substitute before any biopsy can be done.
As hubby is rather confused on the meds it is down to me to remember which meds and at what time - also to try and encourage him to eat and drink - he just can't be bothered:weep:
To say that my panic and bouts of weeping are stretching me to the limit.
It is a dreadful feeling - he is a bit like someone with dementai. i am terrified. Lonely and very very scared.
June
:hugs:
Hello June,
I'm so sorry you are suffering like this. It must be awful for you having to deal with your husbands problems alongside your own.
Do you have any family or friends who can help you out or at least just be there for you to talk to?
What about phone helplines like "No Panic" as they are really good when you feel you are cracking up? (I often use it myself)
Have you seen the doctor about your own meds. maybe you should as I'm sure you need extra help to cope at the moment.
I'm sorry I'm not much help but we are all here if you need to talk.
I hope you get things sorted out for your hubbie soon.
Take care.
Judy.xxx:hugs:
:hugs:Thank you for your support:hugs:
Because of my own (long standing) problems with panic etc I do not have 'friends' i have daughters, who have never really understood my 'problems' but now their dad is ill they are full of concern. It is a serious problem whereas mine - well I could have 'pulled myself together' couldn't I?:blush:
Even now i am told stop worrying so nuch untill we get some answers:ohmy:
(They all work full time and have families of their own so I cannot expect too much help.)
They do not seem to realise I am the one watching his torment - trying to remember the order of his meds - or even has he taken them or not?
The meds he is on make him 'confused' and this is very hard to deal with.
BUT put on a brave face - everything is fine - no worries:yesyes:
Just on here on can relax.
Thank you for listening:hugs:
Best wishes
June
:hugs:
Hello June,
Just a little message to say how sorry I am you and your husband are having such a worrying time; I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you both, hopefully you will hear some encouraging news soon, and once you have seen the dietician next week, you husband will begin to pick up a little. I am thinking about you, and am here anytime to help support, so please pm me if you need to chat.
Helen xxx
Thank you all so much.
June
xx
ladybird64
17-01-10, 13:05
June :hugs:
I know the idea of having a friend whose shoulder you can cry on seems very far away but you have many "friends" here, you just can't see us in person.
I know all about putting on the brave face, it's what I do best but you know you don't have to do that here...it's ok to show whatever you're feeling, even anger at the situation you find yourself in.
I hope that the specialist appt next week goes well, will be thinking of you and hubby. :flowers:
:hugs:Thank you all:bighug1:
I just feel as if my heart is breaking, when hubby is asleep i cry for hours - i feel so useless:weep:
But there is nothing i can do except support him - and until we know all the facts my mind runs riot.
You all know that feeling very well.
June
It must be so hard, and as you say all you can do is support; until you have the facts you must try to take each day as it comes, which I know is much easier said than done. :hugs:I do think once you have spoken to the specialist and have found out more, you will be given some direction, which I hope will help you to manage.:hugs:
Sounds horrible. Is it possible to go for a brisk walk (I know that would be hard to do) but it may get your breathing back to normal and counteract the agitation a little.
magic girl
17-01-10, 18:38
hi june i dont know wheather you are under a psyciatrist or your local mental health team but you should tell them what is happening you should'nt be going through this on your own they may be able to get you extra help or at least point you in the right direction.they were really good to me when my son was diagnosed with aspergers,you should'nt be doing this alone,if your not under the care of the mental health team then please ask your doctor to refure you.you are caring for your husband but you need to look after yourself too.take care june and we are all here if you need us:bighug1::bighug1:
Quick up date the massive lump in hubbys sinus - it was indeed cancer and they cannot operate - he has had 20 sessions of radiotherapy in the hope that it will 'shrink' the growth.
We have to wait till some time in June for scan to get the answer to that.
he has had to bouts in hospital first was 2 weeks then 8 weeks - came home yesterday. still very week.
i am so scared - i is now my responsibilty to care for him - i just hope and pray that i am strong enough.
June
Hi June. firstly *hugs*. I cannot imagine the pain you must go through with knowing your husband is so ill.
Secondly, all of us convince ourselves that we cannot cope with any new situations. However we're wrong. You'll find the inner strength to look after your husband and make him feel well again. Love is stronger than anxiety.
Thank you Vixxy, it surprises me that i have got through these last months - but at the same time very daunting for what is to come.
Best wishes
June
:hugs:
Hello June,
I am so sorry to hear that it was bad news about your husband. I really think you will be surprised how the strength you need to care for your husband will come to you. It's amazing what we can all do in a crisis.
Remember we are all here for you if you need to talk or just let your frustrations and worries out.
I will pray for you both.
Take care. Love Judy.xxx:hugs:
:hugs:Thank you Judy,one of my biggest problems is "soft diet" he / we were always old fashioned eaters = meat and 2 veg.
Hubby has never been adventurous with food -No such thing as pasta - or puds, sweet things were 'girley'.
And of course with the therapy (ulcerated mouth) he does not want to try food cos it hurts. Lots of fortified drinks suplied by the hospital. But nervous to try anything at the moment.
His weight went from 12st 9lb to 9st:weep: NOW its 10st 1lb:yesyes::yesyes:
Patience they tell me....... I am exhausted - I hurt i feel as if my heart is broken and ache in every muscle.
But I have to smile and keep up "the brave face" like with a child - you praise every morsel they eat or each little progress that is made.
Thank you for listening - can't really tell anyone else - they will think i am complaining === i am not, i just hurt for him and want to help the best way i can.
Best wishes
June
:hugs:
Hello June:hugs:
I'm glad to hear that your husband has gained some weight, that's a good sign:yesyes:. I know it probably won't look very appetizing but is there any possibility of liquidising some of the food you would normally eat, at least it would have the flavours he is used to?
It is such a strain nursing someone you love and having to keep up the pretence that you are coping and not worried. Are your family able to help out at all? The stress is bound to be taking it's toll on you but you WILL get through this. In saying that you must also look after yourself as best you can and get help from the doctor with medication if you need it or even help from cancer charities. I don't know if they work nationwide but here in Scotland we have McMillan nurses who come to the house to help out and give support to both the patient and family? Of course I understand that your husband may not want outside help, I know some people feel it is an invasion of privacy.
Anyway June, remember that if you not taking care of yourself you won't be able to take care of your husband. Keep posting here, we will all help as much as possible. Even if it is just by listening.
Judy.xx
Hi Judy, he has only been out of hospital 3 days - help is beginning to come - but - they say what help do you need?
I said i don't really know yet - it is like a learning experience - we have to find out what he can or can't do!!
He has help with washing and dressing in the morning and nurse to dress his facial cancer (Different type from the sinus one) but she is only going to come once aweek she said i can renew the dressing the plaster falls off!! I had extra dressings delivered last night.
An assement of needs will be done, maybe next thurs or fri.
SOOOOO frustrating:blush:
thank you for listening
June
:hugs:
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