hello from canada

[Juliette]

I'm 27 and I go by online as Juliette. I have suffered from anxiety since puberty, but have always acted strange even before that, being oversensitive and crying all the time at school. My anxiety seems to be worsening as I age. It is mainly about money and health. I was raised by a single mother who was overly anxious about money and I realize that I am now copying her behavior. She was working from home as a seamstress and always repeating like a mantra: "we must save for a rainy day" and scolding me when I bought a bag of crisps because "this $1 could buy us a whole bag of potatoes or lentils". Looking back at our financial situation, we were not even that poor and had everything we needed. She insisted on squirrelling away every penny. One day she had an opportunity to use her savings to buy a condo in our area which was slowly becoming more upscale, but she didn't, arguing that as a freelance worker and single mom she needed her savings. She missed on that investment and regrets it now. She has changed, but I don't want to wait until I'm 50. My anxiety about money is killing me. I work part-time as a cashier, as I am too anxious for demanding corporate jobs asking you to multi-task. As a result, I have no dental insurance (healthcare in Canada is free like in the UK, but dental and eye care is not), resulting in even more anxiety. Recently, my ex bought my half of our former house and gave me a nice amount (not telling, but I could live 1 or 2 years on it, it gives you an idea), and I sincerely thought I could finally enjoy some of the finer things in life, travel, buy good winter clothes, have dental work done that is way overdue, maybe even go back to school. I haven't spent a dime. I'm paralyzed by anxiety that I might need it. I'm now married (just went to the courthouse with our witnesses, the cost of an actual wedding and the amount of planning was sickening me and giving me huge nervous breakdowns) and my husband is currently unemployed, and because of a system glitch his first employment-insurance payment has been delayed. Even if I can provide for us for the couple months' wait, my fear of great poverty is giving me physical symptoms. Earlier this week, my husband and I went to a chinese buffet, around $10 per person, and while walking to the table with my plate I became dizzy, felt a tingling in my hands and feet, and fell on the floor, still conscious. Probably that, unconsciously, that little restaurant treat I was giving us made me panic. I'm always tired, sleep is un-restful, I have lots of difficulty waking up (like, 10 snoozes!). Thanks for reading, I'm glad I found this website.

[diane07]

Hi Juliette

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[Maj]

Hello, I always have about 10 snoozes too!! I think it's the dark mornings. I am sorry you are feeling so anxious. I don't think you are the only person who feels like this about money. We all know someone who watches every penny all of their lives. You've obviously inherited the habit from your mum. It's a pity you couldn't change your attitude because of your mum's regrets. It's really just like a bad habit and you can change habits, but I think you'll find it very difficult. I think you are needing to actually look after YOU more. The fact you are going without dental treatment is neglecting your own needs. The fact that you are having physical symptoms isn't a healthy thing either as you are not even enjoying having money. I think it's a case of old habits die hard and you are going to have to make a determined effort to change, nobody can do this for you. It's true, the old saying, money can't buy you happiness and there are no pockets in a shroud. Try and enjoy your life and be good to yourself, you only live once. About the physical symptoms, I'd have a word with your doctor and explain how you feel. You don't have to be like your mum - you can be you and change the pattern.
Myra:hugs:

[Bluebelle]

Welcome to NMP !
I am from Canada too- You'll find lots of love and support here !
Love-Bluebelle

[Veronica H]

:welcome:To NMP. Glad that you have found us.

Veronica

[panicdiva]

Hi, although I live in Britain now, I was born in Canada & lived there til I was 21.

You will get lots of good advice and helpful comments here. I'm sorry that your mum's money anxiety has gone onto you; I am claustraphobic like my mother too and I worry sick that my children will be the same when they are older.

Hope you enjoy this site.:yesyes:

[Just.A.Girl.x]

Hello and Welcome :)
You will find lots of good advice and friends here :)
Candy xx

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Juliette,

Welcome to NMP. Many here will understand how you are feeling and will give their support. It's odd how we copy traits in our parents that we sometimes don't admire isn't it? Although being frugal in this economy is necessary there is a line that can be crossed. If I were you, I would go to my doctor and tell them what you just wrote. Perhaps you need counseling or even medication so you won't continue to repeat what you learned from your mother. Anxiety in itself can be hereditary but can come in many forms plus you could be suffering from some depression too which is why you can't sleep. I'm not a doctor so I can't say. I can say though how very glad I am that you found our site because you are not alone.

Best wishes,

Laura