challangerchris
19-12-09, 23:47
Maybe someone on here can advise me......
I'm going round in circles with this one, I can't figure out whats up with me.
I was diagnosed with social anxiiety in January 2009, and maybe I did have SA when I was seeing the (*) physciatrist. Ever since I've been questioning my (*) diagnosis, because I'm looking round and taking note how others are acting in various situations. I feel like im pretty 'normal' in everyday situations, I feel relaxed going into a busy shopping centre......no worries stood in a que waiting to order a sandwich etc, i'm not anaxious about ordering/speaking up infront of others in a shop.....
I'd still class myself as shy, which im fine with........but I don't think shyness should stop me from living a life when I know i'm quietly confident (for example, I was in a large B&Q style shop not so long ago, with my two daughters and my ex - whilst browsing the soft furnishing section I broke out into song and did this really stupid wiggly bum dance to which my ex said 'how can you have SA when you do things like that' to which I thought 'very valid point'.......there were loads of people around me when I did it and it didnt even enter my head if they were watching me or not...
I know SA comes in different forms and at different serveritys, but do I even have SA? Maybe more performance anxiety around people I know.. but as i'm not in a (*) (*) position to try out my confidence infront of others I cant say if I'm anaxious or not..
I think this comes down to shyness, which I seem to be improving ever so slightly, however I don't think my shyness is down to been scared of people, its down to not knowing what to say (conversation).
From what i've seen (*) (*) conversation is based on ones own experiences/stories - the problem I have with that is my memory..............I'm unable to recall any conversational topics due to me just purely not been able to recal the info to talk about it. My kids do funny things as kids do, to which I laugh and look forward to telling others about it.....then a day or two will pass and I will have no idea what happened that was so funny, and if im having a brilliant day I will be able to recal very vague basic info about it but not enough info to make a good conversation about it..............if that makes any sense?
Same when I'm writing txt's, it can take me litreally hours to think of a worthwhile reply. It's very rare for me to reply instantly because my brain can't write a txt quick enough while making any sense.........I will read the txt and think about what he/she had said and think of a reply that follows on from there txt. Even if i've had a while to think of my reply when it comes to actualy pressing the keys to write my brain will stall mid-sentance as I struggle to pull words from my brain memory........
As a little experiment ive added some (*) to this post, those (*) are time when my brain has stalled........ive underlined the words which I couldnt think of......which lets be fair are pretty basic words..........
(*) = 2-3 mins of thinking to try remember the word I need
(*) (*) = about 5 mins
Now, in my forrmer evil life I smoked strong cannabis (skunk) - for 12 years aged between 18 and 29 years old. Do you think I have damaged my brain? Do you think it will recover? Is there any tests I could ask for from my GP? Do other people experience this brain stall i'm (*) describing?
Sorry for the long post........you deserve a coffee now to wake back up. :roflmao:
I'm going round in circles with this one, I can't figure out whats up with me.
I was diagnosed with social anxiiety in January 2009, and maybe I did have SA when I was seeing the (*) physciatrist. Ever since I've been questioning my (*) diagnosis, because I'm looking round and taking note how others are acting in various situations. I feel like im pretty 'normal' in everyday situations, I feel relaxed going into a busy shopping centre......no worries stood in a que waiting to order a sandwich etc, i'm not anaxious about ordering/speaking up infront of others in a shop.....
I'd still class myself as shy, which im fine with........but I don't think shyness should stop me from living a life when I know i'm quietly confident (for example, I was in a large B&Q style shop not so long ago, with my two daughters and my ex - whilst browsing the soft furnishing section I broke out into song and did this really stupid wiggly bum dance to which my ex said 'how can you have SA when you do things like that' to which I thought 'very valid point'.......there were loads of people around me when I did it and it didnt even enter my head if they were watching me or not...
I know SA comes in different forms and at different serveritys, but do I even have SA? Maybe more performance anxiety around people I know.. but as i'm not in a (*) (*) position to try out my confidence infront of others I cant say if I'm anaxious or not..
I think this comes down to shyness, which I seem to be improving ever so slightly, however I don't think my shyness is down to been scared of people, its down to not knowing what to say (conversation).
From what i've seen (*) (*) conversation is based on ones own experiences/stories - the problem I have with that is my memory..............I'm unable to recall any conversational topics due to me just purely not been able to recal the info to talk about it. My kids do funny things as kids do, to which I laugh and look forward to telling others about it.....then a day or two will pass and I will have no idea what happened that was so funny, and if im having a brilliant day I will be able to recal very vague basic info about it but not enough info to make a good conversation about it..............if that makes any sense?
Same when I'm writing txt's, it can take me litreally hours to think of a worthwhile reply. It's very rare for me to reply instantly because my brain can't write a txt quick enough while making any sense.........I will read the txt and think about what he/she had said and think of a reply that follows on from there txt. Even if i've had a while to think of my reply when it comes to actualy pressing the keys to write my brain will stall mid-sentance as I struggle to pull words from my brain memory........
As a little experiment ive added some (*) to this post, those (*) are time when my brain has stalled........ive underlined the words which I couldnt think of......which lets be fair are pretty basic words..........
(*) = 2-3 mins of thinking to try remember the word I need
(*) (*) = about 5 mins
Now, in my forrmer evil life I smoked strong cannabis (skunk) - for 12 years aged between 18 and 29 years old. Do you think I have damaged my brain? Do you think it will recover? Is there any tests I could ask for from my GP? Do other people experience this brain stall i'm (*) describing?
Sorry for the long post........you deserve a coffee now to wake back up. :roflmao: