People just don't understand

[T89]

I haven't been on here in a while because I've been dealing with things quite well lately but now I have a problem which is really getting me down-my friends, or rather one friend in particular!

Even though I feel like I have made some progress I still don't get out very much at the moment. I find it difficult enough to get myself out of bed and into uni so anything which I don't really have to do I don't. I know this isn't very helpful and I should try to get out and I do sometimes but more often than not I admit that I cancel. Now my friend has been saying some really hurtful things about how she doesn't understand what someone my age has to worry about,that I'm not a good friend because I won't see them anymore and that she's not the only who thinks this-meaning people have been talking about me. She didn't say this in a constructive manner like "oh you should get out more because we miss you" she said it once an argument over something else had started and it brought me to tears.

I know that depression and anxiety are difficult to understand if you've never experienced them but I just wish she'd be more supportive. Like I said, I also realise I need to get out more but I still find it hard.Before all of this I promised myself I'd make a special effort at Christmas and go to the doctor to talk about coming off citalopram but now I'm wondering if I'm ready.

I just need a place to let off a little steam as my friends who do understand are out or asleep.

Thanks guys.

[fozzy is crying]

I know exactly how you fell. I have physical problems as well and no family or freinds to to turn to. My only human contact is numerous day and night emergency medical visits due to the stress this has caused. I had a girlfreind who as with lots who nave never suffered mental health problems not only turned her back on me but has gone out of her way to make my life even worse. I have been let down by the mental health trust and adult vulnerability unit locally as well. This has made my plight even worse. But still I fight on. Private message me if I can I will help you to the best of my ability. You are not alone there are ever so many of us in the same position and it seems are only hope of help is by fellow sufferers helping each other as the rest of this so called caring society does not give a monkeys toss.

Gordon

[unspoken]

You're right: a lot of people just don't understand. Unless they've been there themselves, they're unlikely to. Your experience of uni sounds sort of like mine. I resented the people who stayed out till 5am on 5 nights a week, got really drunk, didn't remember how they got home and then made it into campus for their lectures and somehow got their coursework done and managed to be on 5 sports teams too. I missed a lot of lectures in 2nd year because I was just too tired or anxious to make it to them and my only social engagements were my weekly visit to my GP. Nights out were a big problem because I had no energy and couldn't drink alcohol, or anything else except water. It is really unfair that the emphasis at uni is on abusing your body in as many ways as possible - not sleeping, eating takeaways, drinking far too much etc. At my uni, everything was based on drinking and it was really hard to find anything to do otherwise.

It's really not nice that your friend has made comments like that to you. I've also had the "but the exams are over, what can you possibly be anxious about?" questions asked of me. You have to remember though, it's an illness, you're not lazy or antisocial. You say she said these things during an argument. Sometimes in that kind of situation, people try to cause hurt however they can, saying things they don't necessarily mean. It doesn't mean you can just forget about it, she still said it, but you could ask her when things are calmer between you if she really did mean it and try to discuss it rationally with her. As for seeing your friends, they shouldn't expect a minimum commitment like that, but when you do see them, try to arrange to do things that won't be too tiring for you and that you can go home from if you're tired/feeling low.