Never actually felt "depressed" until now

[fallenidol1]

I'm at the end of my tether, I've been suffering from anxiety/panic attacks for about 16 years and I've never really been able to control them. I'm now three weeks into taking fluoxetine/prozac and I thought things were going so well, I was beginning to feel better until Saturday night when I had the mother of all panic attacks, I took a diazepam and went to sleep and then woke a couple of hours later gasping for breath and with a heart rate of 150bpm!
Since then I have been feeling really rough and not really with it, confused, upset and I feel like I want to bang my head against a wall until I knock myself out.
I went to the doctor today and she was very understanding as is arranging tests and support but now I'm home I genuinely feel low, upset and like I'm a waste of time.
I've never felt low before now and now I just feel useless, I'm at my wits end and don't know what to do.
Dan.

[unspoken]

Hi, I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling this bad :hugs:

At the moment you need to work on feeling calm in the short term. Try to put longer term concerns out of your mind. Have you been given any breathing exercises? Deep breathing can help to calm you down. It is really scary and lonely when you feel this desperate and panicked and don't have adequate reassurance. Watch rubbish on TV if it helps to take your mind off things for now. It's upsetting and scary experiencing sudden panic. Make sure you look after yourself, stay warm and eat and drink as well as you feel able to. This could be just a temporary glitch as you say the fluoxetine has been working well otherwise, but if it persists, it may be worth trying a different antidepressant.

You're not a waste of time at all. Depression makes you think this way and feel these things but it isn't true. If you want to talk to someone about your feelings, call the Samaritans, it may help for someone to listen to your fears.

[fallenidol1]

Thank you for your reply unspoken. I've tried breathing exercises but I just can't seem to get the hang of them, they always make me worse.
I really don't know how to stop this feeling, I just want it to end.

[unspoken]

Remember that you haven't always felt this way. You've done well to be able to cope without getting depressed up till now and you will be able to cope again. It's a depressing time of year, cold and dark all the time.

Complicated breathing exercises can increase your stress as you try to do them and then when you don't succeed it makes you feel worse. Try counting as you breathe in, see how high you get, then count as you breathe out, each time try to count 1 number further. Like "In two three four" "Out two three four five" "In two three four five six" etc. Try to count out loud.

This is just temporary, it will get better, and we're here for you :hugs:

[Idstain]

i agree with unspoken, it's just temporary and it will pass, setbacks are normal :)

what self help books have you read with regards to your anxiety/panic?

Don't forget that the attitude of "i just want this to go away!" typically only makes things worse. Do your best to practice mindfulness/acceptance. :)