What a week!!!! :(

[Alisonj]

I finally got in to see the orthopedic surgeon regarding my foot pain and it turns out I need to have surgery on it in February :( I just had a hysterectomy and am finally recovered from that and can go back to the gym and now this is going to lay me up for even longer. My doctor has also decided to do an MRI on me. Which scares the &*(^ out of me. I have been having the muscle twitches, muscle pains, major hand tremors, memory loss, very brisk reflexes. So I dont have a date yet for that but I am sooo worried that its going to show something bad.
Then on Christmas day my mom and I got in a huge fight over email. She said horrible awful things to me, alot about my dad who died when I was 14 and was down right cruel and awful. I spent Christmas day crying non stop. My poor little ones. So my mom has basically decided she doesnt want me in her life. So now I dont have my dad and now my mom either. So with all the stress lately I feel like I am ready to break. I am worried about everything. Am exhausted and want to sleep all the time. The other night I took one extra pill and instead of going to sleep I stayed up and my husband was upset with me because I was really quite out of it. I take 2mg Ativan 1mg Klonopin, 10mg Propanolol, 30mg of Paxil and 50 mg of trazodone. Too many pills :(
I dont know how to start rebuilding. I started boxing up things that I got from my mom because it bothers me to much to see them. But how do I just let it go and move on. She really is a cruel person who is not good for me, but it is so hard at the same time. If anyone knows how to find a beginning I would love to hear all ideas. I feel like a lost puppy. :weep:

[pollyanna]

Oh Alison big hug:hugs:

no wonder you are feeling so awful, scared and lost, just one of these things could cause us grief, but having family problems thrown into the mix is very upsetting, but unfortunately we cant always control what life throws at us, but you will get through this, you have dealt with the surgery of your hysterectomy and you will get through the other medical issues, as for the troubles with your mom, well we cant change other people , or their behaviour, , i dont think there is any quick fix on how to move on from this one, it will take time, and if at the moment the best way for you to deal with it is to box the things that you got from her and put them away for a while as it is so painful, then so be it, and when your feeling stronger in yourself, things may become clearer in your head.
put all your energy and focus on your own little family, they need you and you need them, im sorry that i dont have any real answers for you, but wanted to let you know that i am thinking about you and you will get through this, and there is lots of support here to get you through


tc P x :hugs:

[Andyroo]

i hope your feeling better soon.. it has been a terrable week for you... you have our love and support... im sure your tests will go fine and things will start to get better i have faith in that... lots of love send your way!:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: