Alisonj
27-12-09, 08:10
I finally got in to see the orthopedic surgeon regarding my foot pain and it turns out I need to have surgery on it in February :( I just had a hysterectomy and am finally recovered from that and can go back to the gym and now this is going to lay me up for even longer. My doctor has also decided to do an MRI on me. Which scares the &*(^ out of me. I have been having the muscle twitches, muscle pains, major hand tremors, memory loss, very brisk reflexes. So I dont have a date yet for that but I am sooo worried that its going to show something bad.
Then on Christmas day my mom and I got in a huge fight over email. She said horrible awful things to me, alot about my dad who died when I was 14 and was down right cruel and awful. I spent Christmas day crying non stop. My poor little ones. So my mom has basically decided she doesnt want me in her life. So now I dont have my dad and now my mom either. So with all the stress lately I feel like I am ready to break. I am worried about everything. Am exhausted and want to sleep all the time. The other night I took one extra pill and instead of going to sleep I stayed up and my husband was upset with me because I was really quite out of it. I take 2mg Ativan 1mg Klonopin, 10mg Propanolol, 30mg of Paxil and 50 mg of trazodone. Too many pills :(
I dont know how to start rebuilding. I started boxing up things that I got from my mom because it bothers me to much to see them. But how do I just let it go and move on. She really is a cruel person who is not good for me, but it is so hard at the same time. If anyone knows how to find a beginning I would love to hear all ideas. I feel like a lost puppy. :weep:
Then on Christmas day my mom and I got in a huge fight over email. She said horrible awful things to me, alot about my dad who died when I was 14 and was down right cruel and awful. I spent Christmas day crying non stop. My poor little ones. So my mom has basically decided she doesnt want me in her life. So now I dont have my dad and now my mom either. So with all the stress lately I feel like I am ready to break. I am worried about everything. Am exhausted and want to sleep all the time. The other night I took one extra pill and instead of going to sleep I stayed up and my husband was upset with me because I was really quite out of it. I take 2mg Ativan 1mg Klonopin, 10mg Propanolol, 30mg of Paxil and 50 mg of trazodone. Too many pills :(
I dont know how to start rebuilding. I started boxing up things that I got from my mom because it bothers me to much to see them. But how do I just let it go and move on. She really is a cruel person who is not good for me, but it is so hard at the same time. If anyone knows how to find a beginning I would love to hear all ideas. I feel like a lost puppy. :weep: