Hello to everyone

[Morley]

Thought I would say hello and meet other people who also have similar problems to me. I will just tell you about all that has happened since I was a little girl so you all get a clearer picture.

I have had OCD, HA, and panic attacks for most of my life. My father was violent and this resulted me having OCD ( Handwashing and checking)
I also developed anorexia from the age of 13 and my sister use to hit me and bully me whilst I was growing up.

My dad went on to develop M.S and atempted suicide several times. apparently this is quite common for M.S sufferers. I have tried to stop him from taking his life many times from a young child and still do, I am now 32...

I have a phobia of being sick and I think everything I eat is going to give me food poisoning and is off!

When I was 15 I was diagnosed with cancer and had a successful operation to removed my tumour. This has left my worrying about my cancer returning and general health overall!

To top it all off my mum age 62 gets diagnosed with Picks disease, a very rare dementia. I had to look after her and my dad because my dad tried to kill himself, so I had to arrange day care for my parents so I could go out to work!
Eventually my mum and dad got moved into a care home it was very difficult to get them both in because they did not own there own home so
was a battle with social services! They are now in a home I am pleased to say but watching my mum deteriorate breaks my heart as I have not only lost my mum but my best friend.:weep:

As a result of everything,I had to give up my job because I developed digestive problems which made me depressed and I worry about a pain I get inside my mouth on my palate which I have had for years! (I have seen loads of doctors and have had cameras down my stomach and throat!)
I do see a CBT therapist but I am finding this is making my symptoms worse, is this normal? I have been on Sertraline for years on and off which do not seem to work very well.

Hope to find some comfort and advice from using this site and hopefully I can help others.

[diane07]

Hi Morley

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[KK77]

You've had a very tough time and I feel for you Morley. Sometimes one wonders whether there's ever going to be light at the end of the tunnel, but in the meantime we're all here to support, listen and offer advice to each other.

Welcome to NMP and wish you well.

[eva82]

Wow...you have been through so much! I, too suffer from HA although I have some days that are better than others, I always have that fear that something is seriously wrong with me. I hope you find the support and advice you are looking for on this site!:)

[Veronica H]

:welcome:to NMP. Glad that you have found us.

Veronica

[Morley]

Thanks for your kind words.... it's good to know i am not the only one. :grouphug:

[Maj]

Hello Morley,

I shook my head in astonishment at your life story so far. You've had such an awful, awful time. You must have thought many times "where will it all end". You can't help wondering at times that some people seem to be given a raw deal in life. Just how much more can you take. But you seem to still have spirit and that's great. You've come through all this and seem like a very level-headed person. You should be so proud of yourself. I've a feeling that you have got a great strength of character even although you have anxiety problems. You will get reassurance and comfort from this site and find that you are not alone. I really hope that you start to get the benefit from cbt. I've read other posts about people having this and feeling worse to start with. I really wish you well because you deserve it so much.
Myra:hugs:

[smudger]

Hi Morley. Wow. You have been tested somewhat so far in life and still so young. I feel really angry for you but at the same time I REALLY admire you for your sheer perseverence. You have many qualities its obvious! Just wanted to say Im having cognitive therapy at the moment n i do feel worse because you need to talk about the negative stuff before you can change your learned habits.Try n stick with it. I will if you will! Im going back after the new year. week 6 for me. Not looking forward to it but it NEEDS to be done. Also can I ask if you ever do anything for you rather than other people?I know you must feel you want to be with mum all the time but I bet she wouldnt want you to miss out on life?Just a thought!

[Morley]

Hello Myra,

Thanks for your kind reply, I hope my CBT works, I just get worried because I have had very stressful situations from a young age and I have read that sometimes it is difficult to break the vicious circle if someone has had stress and mental illness for so long. My OCD started as a young girl and my mum did not want to take me to the doctors because she thought I would grow out of it.. but i think it just developed into a more serious mental health problem and was not nipped in the bud. I suppose I have become stronger and more confident as I have to complain a lot at my mum and dad's care home when things do not run smoothly.. I try and think positive and think life is just a test,but I find it difficult to think in a positive way about my health..

[Morley]

Hi Smudger,
Thanks for your kind words.. ok I will stick with the CBT it makes me feel really bad and I get stomach pains but I will try and stick with it.
I try and exercise by running and going to the gym. I also have a lovely black labrador that I take out for long walks. My CBT therapist is trying to teach me ways in which to distract myself, may try volunteering for a charity.. I just lose motivation and get really focused about my health most days.. or worrying about my mum in the home! difficult to break this cycle....