New Year for me

[bellabessnjet]

Hi all,
I've never done anything like this but today whilst shopping everyone wishing all the best, felt low, put on the happy face 'yeah same to you' came home and literally this poem popped into my head. Please note I am definitely not a poet as you will find out if you read.

Dont know what to do
only want to cry,
Everyone around me happy,
feel like I should die.

New Years celebrations
New Year dread for me
Why can't I be happy,
Whats gone wrong with me?

Theres a glimpse of hope sometimes,
But then the darkness finds a way,
to spoil all the happy times,
and make my world dark grey.

I only want to be me again,
Enjoying lifes ups and downs,
But my heads in a mixed up place
And all I feel is down.

[ladybird64]

:hugs:No dying sweetheart. Your world may be dark grey but the glimpse of hope is still there, even if it's faded a bit or is obscured by that dark greyness.

We are all going through difficulties of one sort or another (I'm a fellow "phobe" but a different phobia) but the one thing we can offer each other is understanding and the reassurance that you are not alone..many of us feel lost in the darkness.

We'll be with you while you find that glimpse of hope again, it may take a while but hey, time is not important. You're not on your own. :hugs:

[bellabessnjet]

Thanks Ladybird,
I know theres people here who'll support me, I suppose its the dread of the unknown, even though as someones wrote 'its just another day'. I feel like a ton of pressures put on me to enjoy myself, look forward, etc, but I'm scared of 2010 and whether I'll get better, will it be a hot summer and therefore more ants, will my son be ok in his new school, sometimes wish I could switch my mind off.Never mind I've got through 2009 which was very bad so theres hope.
Angela x