ok... help!

[feege]

I have been off sick all week with 'sinuses' - actually just very dizzy and exhausted - doc said there was fluid in my ear. Got antibiotics on Tuesday but been too frightened to take them cos part of my anxiety is adverse reactions to drugs... But woke up this morning and just feel worse - no paid just fluid feeling in head! So I've just taken an antibiotic (it took me 2 hours to take it!) now I'm terrified!!!

I have had this dizziness on and off for 2 years - found out i had vertigo which was small granules in the fluid in the ear and had an epley maneouvre which settled it down, but it keeps coming back. Of course in the back of my mind I think I have a brain tumour. I have a lot of other health problems, ME, damaged vocal chords, a (benign apparently) kidney tumour as well as all the things that go with anxiety - disassociation, exhaustion, digestive problems etc. Added to which I am menopausal and have a mirena coil! Oh and I have a rash all over my arms and legs. I'm a physical and mental wreck!

I don't know how to keep proportion today - I'm ok if I'm busy but I've been at home all week. I have to go shopping today but the cold will hurt and I'm anxious about driving. Today is a very tough day for me! The only family I have is my 84 year old mother who is round the corner - I have to get her shopping toay as well, and my son who is in London - we are very close, but his wife has lymphoma and although in remission is due for her blood test today to see how she is doing - results on Tuesday - and he is very very anxious too naturally.

Sometimes I think I am amazing to cope with all that's going on - I have to get myself back to work on Monday to pay the mortgage, but I'm just so exhausted and frustrated with myself. I am naturally such a positive person but there is just too much going on.

Sorry to whinge - I just feel so frightened all the time - it's like my life is a pack of cards about to collapse! But I've been to this point so many times and found my way back.

Ok, pull myself together and get on.... It's so good to have somewhere to come and let it all out!



fee

[existential crisis]

Kick it's ass honey - you can do it! I think you deserve a massive pat on the back for how well you are doing considering your health problems...and the best bit about your post was that you know you can get through this again and that you know you can get on despite your problems! You go girl!! You ARE amazing to cope with all this!! xxx

*I think, therefore I am.*

[Meg]

HI Feege

Soem people need 2 sessions of the Epley so if it did help the first time do go back and ask for it again.

Has the Mirena coil helped you? For some its a miracle and for others it just does not suit..

Have you had the rash looked at yet ?

I hope the antibiotics don't upset you and do the trick. You could always try a session of Hopi ear candles to help with sinuses.

Hope today goes ok




Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[Piglet]

Feege you have loads going on and you are holding it together like you have done so before!

I find if you take one problem at a time and write them on a piece of paper with possible outcomes and reactions it helps to keep them in porportion.

Writing down our worries and getting them out of our heads really takes some of the sting out of them and helps you to see which need dealing with and which will sort themselves out in time.

You are doing well mate - come on here and get it off your chest anytime and if you get chance have you been in our chatroom at all??

Love Piglet :)

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[feege]

Hi and thanks to everyone for answering!

Meg - I have had the Epley twice - think I need it again, I just can't keep up with all the hospital appointments!! I have mentioned the rash to doc but he's just not interested! I reckon it's probably hormonal - possibly the coil...

The Mirena coil has been amazing - no periods ever since and that's nearly 2 years. It was such a big deal going back to the hospital - I spent so long not getting any of my health problems checked out, putting it down to either ME or anxiety - but it turned out I had loads of fibroids which they successfully removed and it's been fantastic.... however it was through that they found the kidney tumour and scared the living daylights out of me. Apparently loads of people have them and they are symptomless but some docs think they should be removed anyway. The thought of the surgery is horrifying me. I'm due to have it scanned in about Feb although I don't have an appt yet - when they did it last year it hadn't changed at all but as the time comes round I get more and more nervous... Same with the vocal chords - they said they were lumps, then scar tissue. My dad had cancer of the throat! So I smoked lots more out of terror (!) and last year they said the chords were almost normal after annual checks for 5 years... but still have to keep going and being terrified!

See...if I start I can waffle for England! I think I'm someone with a highly justified health anxiety but the thing is... it's the anxiety that disables me.... without anxiety health problems are just part of life - everyone gets some!

I have also tried being gluten-free to see if that improves my general health (I have had shingles too repeatedly this year - also stress related!) and it did help actually so now I'm being tested for Coeliac's which I have to say would be a great thing to have - I can do NOT eating things!! I go back to see an ME specialist between xmas and new year.... so how many appointments is that? I can't even remember myself!!

Hey-ho, wrap up warm and get out there Fee!! I should have gone by now!

Thank you again everyone for listening!

xxxx

fee

[Quirky]

Hi Feege,
You are doing so well to cope with everything, well done. I know exactly how you are feeling.
I too cope with alot of genuine health problems, like you I also have ME. I also have asthma, IBS, health anxiety, hyperventilation syndrome, lymphodema of the foot, a kidney cyst, allergies, sinus problems, glue ear, hormonal problems, back problems, the list is endless lol. I am 34 but that list makes me sound 94! lol. None of these are life threatening (apart from the asthma maybe) but some of them are a nuisance to live with. Right now I have a cold that I think has turned into an infection so am off to the docs tonight. I am dreading getting told I need antibiotics too and will be terrified if I do.
My life recently seems to be one hospital appt after another or some appt for therapy or something. I am currently doing a course, over 6 mornings weekly, to help people manage long term health problems and it's quite helpful so far. On the outside I look like a normal healthy person but often don't feel it. Anyway all this is just to say I understand and you're not alone.
Take care and I hope your son's wife is ok too.
Lisa