hello, crafts question!

[loli1982]

hello, this is going to seem like a odd question, but since i started having panic attacks 4 weeks ago, i cant do anything, im a jeweller/silversmith, and every time i even think about it, i just go into another panic, i had anxiety for years, and working away always helped, am really starting to worry about this, i have orders etc due, and im supposed to go back to college soon. so my question is.. does this pass, is this a normal sort of thing for people having panic attacks? i cant even draw at the moment, an its really stressing me out. thanks for taking the time to read this xx
louise

[i love tea]

Hi Louise, I don't think this is an odd question at all...

I'm quite a creative person (design degree and currently doing an illustration course) but I find that when I'm going through a really anxious period (I mainly have health anxieties) I cannot draw - I don't even try, I just can't face it. It's as though my creativity is paralysed :shrug:

For me, I think it's also a fear of failure - when I'm relaxed I'm happy just to doodle and explore ideas, but when I'm feeling anxious, I stress about every line I draw, afraid that it's going to go wrong...

Sorry for rambling, I don't think I've been very helpful, I just wanted to let you know I understand :hugs:

[loli1982]

you have helped! thanks for replying! i got a bit of heath anxiety aswell, one of my worries is i have to use chemicals etc, worried about poisning myself! (went as far as googling silver poisning few weeks ago, just to check it wasnt causing my symptoms!:D) its really weird though, just the sight of any of my tools etc, sets me off, ive had to hide them in the spare room! i used to use drawing and metalwork to calm down, now its making me worse! saying that, the last two necklaces i made were titled hell in a handbasket, and the last straw, so i should mabey have guessed i was heading for something! art therapists would have a field day!! :D

[loli1982]

my shiny things, if anyone interested, yup, they not amazing, but im a student, just learning. i removed the link, cant do this no more, this makin me sad, thank you to every1 for their nice comments.

[PoppyC]

Hi Loli
Did you make all of those??? If so you are very talented! :) I love the rings especially.

[loli1982]

i did! thank you, am pining for doing something today, bt cant bring myself to do it. been stuck to the ceiling since yesterday. have brought my silver box downstairs, an im just sitting here looking at it! mibby if i look at it long enough, itl do itself? ha ha:D

[PoppyC]

Just read your first post. I hope you manage to get over how you are feeling as you obviously have a real talent.
I used to get panic attacks very badly several times a day at their worst, but now since being on medication, I don't get them, thankfully. I do know how awful and disabling they can be.
Are you having any therapy for your anxiety? or taking any medication?

[loli1982]

gp gave me propranolol 40mg twice daily, and ive asked for a referal to the community mental heath team, cause i really need to see someone about this.
medical wise, ive had 4 ecgs, all clear, chest xray, and a 24 hour heart moniter, (waiting on results) i dont think the beta blockers are really helping, my heart slowed down a fair bit, but im still obsessed with my heath, and that im about to pop my clogs, dvts, heart attacks, stroke, you name it, ive thought about it!! i struggle to go outside, im barely eating, cant concentrate on anything, and the most random things seem to be making me panic. i dont think the fact i worked in heathcare for ten years is really helping, cause ive got a huge list of horrible ways to die stuck in my head, and i cant stop thinking about it. (sorry, im having a bit of a pity party today!)

[gypsywomen]

hello i now go to art class at coege i have found it helped me so much

[loli1982]

hi, yeah, i know a few people who found art really helped them, and ive seen the effects art therapy can have on people as well. i dunno if its cause its backwards with me, i started was on a art based course before this started, but its just making me worse, its upsetting me though because so much of who i am is tied up in what i do, i used it as a coping thing for years, things went wrong, i went to my workshop, made something, and generally felt better, working on something seemed to help me work through my problems. i dunno what im going to do if i cant do this anymore. my mum did this as well, she lived off selling her paintings for years, but when my gran and grampa died last year, she shut up her studio, and has refused to paint ever since.

[magpie girl]

hello loli your work is fantastic :D:Din response to your first question you have used art as your form of distraction and you have kept yourself busy.But problems and grief always find there way to the surface,and you are no longer able to just push these thoughts to the back of your head.So you now associate your art as being unable to cope. It will pass loli just give it time,and grieve for your grandparents,take the offer of therapy from your gp and remember panic attacks and anxiety cannot kill you xxxxxx

[loli1982]

thank you, and good advice!:D

[PoppyC]

Hi again Loli
I hope you get the help you need. I can appreciate how you are feeling, and it must be tough. You have a real talent and I hope you soon feel up to completing your work. Maybe once you have counselling you will feel a lot more positive towards things.
A lot of artists get a 'block' sometimes dont they. You can overcome this - just dont pressure yourself with worrying about it all too much.
My son is a very talented musician and also at uni studying for a Masters, - he puts a lot of pressure on himself and is a bit of a perfectionist - and he gets times when he thinks he can no longer play and is no good at what he does and he gives up for a while, but then bounces back again eventually and goes back to being good at what he does.
Instead of thinking 'what if' I can't do this anymore, try to think 'ok for now I feel unable to, but it can change and I won't always feel this way'
You are so talented that I hope you get back to feeling how you used to.
Don't worry about the pity party - you are entitled to.
Sending you hugs :bighug1:

[BabyRachel]

Wow, your stuff is really beautiful!

I understand it is hard to be creative when your feeling anxious. Im a makeup artist, im finding it hard to look for a job because I had such a bad time in college im finding it hard to not associate makeup with college memories. Did you perhaps have a bad experience and have associated your work with anxiety/bad experience?

Why don't you try making something for yourself, instead of making it for orders/etc. Just take your time and think of something you would really like, and in your own time make it for yourself. That way you will know u can still do it, and your taking the pressure off because your doing it for yourself. :)

xx

[i love tea]

Hi again Loli :D Your work is gorgeous, just amazing!

I agree with what the others have said. BabyRachel's idea of making something for yourself is a good one. Or perhaps you could try doing something else creative instead - something enjoyable that's just for you. Maybe that would give you a bit of encouragement and help relax you a little. When I don't feel like drawing or painting, sometimes I just make a card. Something simple. I also got an origami booklet and papers for Christmas, and found that really relaxing and enjoyable, because I had to focus on following the instructions, and my mind couldn't wander - it was also satisfying to have created something I hadn't done before...

Anyway, I'm rambling now, but I think the main thing is to try and take the pressure off yourself and concentrate on doing things that make you feel better for now. Things will get better :hugs:

[loli1982]

the pity party continues. well just thought id update this, looks like thats the end of that. should be starting college tommorow, instead im going to be phoning and telling them i wont be back. my workshop is getting emptied and put in storage at the end of the month, no earning or getting bursary, no workshop. i still cant get off the couch, cant go outside, cant draw etc. to top it all off, my joints in my hands have really swollen up, probably the start of arthritis, probably should go to gp, get some anti inflamitorys before it gets too bad, but oh yeah, cant leave the house. insult to injury, im going to have to cut off my rings at some point, their stuck. exept cant get to my workshop to get the tool to do it... cause i cant leave the house. am completley and utterly misrable, fed fxxxing up,had enough. ...um again, sorry for the rant.

[Typer]

I understand that. Creative people are often sensitive people too.

I love to craft, and make some jewellery and sorry I missed seeing the link to yours. Right now I find it very hard to make anything. But it will pass...honest.

There is an idea that creating, especially artistically (writers, artists, etc) uses the same part of the mind as emotion (still not well understood).

[SarahG]

Try to think positively hun (I know, I know, it's very hard at times and when people say it to me I think "Yeah right") Deal with the anxiety first and then worry about the silversmithing later. This is a skill and a talent you have and is therefore always something you can go back to at a later stage when you feel up to it. How are things for you now?