Do you think GAD sufferers should be with other GAD sufferers

[Mya]

Does anyone feel that those of us with anxiety disorders are better off being in relationships with others like us? I have been with my husband 11 years and since developing full blown GAD symptoms 2 years ago, I feel completely disconnected from him. Don't get me wrong, he will always be my best friend, however, for the first time in our marriage I feel we are so much different than I ever knew. He doesn't understand any of this with what we feel. I have been in a real bad place the past 2 weeks so I know my mind is in overdrive, however, the fear of him leaving me has been there for a while. So anyone have thoughts as to whether people like us are better suited to be with "our own kind?" I know opposites attract and it is probably best for me to be with a positive person, however, I do get scared how long our relationship could really last with me being like this.

[i love tea]

Hi Mya, I'm in quite a similar position to you - I've been with my husband 10 years and he's nothing like me in many ways!! He doesn't worry about anything... at all. It makes me annoyed he's so laid back sometimes. But, he's my best friend and, although he doesn't always understand how I'm feeling, he's always supportive and encouraging.

Before I got together with my husband, I thought I was in love with someone else. He's now a really good friend, but we have very similar personalities - both worriers, prone to anxiety. I know now that it would have been awful if we'd got together - we'd have just dragged each other down.

Don't be scared - you're not always going to be feeling this anxious - I'm sure you'll get through this rough patch and start to feel better about things.

[loulabella]

I agree with I love tea. My OH doesn't worry about a thing. He had a seizure the other day and we had to rush him to AnE and he was as calm as anything. I on the other hand was eating Valium like smarties!

If I was with somebody like me, there would be nothing to work towards. I WILL be just like him one day and I think you need to aim for something similar. I know it's hard when it changes from how you were in the beginning but he will still love you for you, and will prob be the main thing which gets you through this. :)

Much love

L x

[LoveMusic]

Although having someone to sympathise and understand is important I find the most comforting people I can have around me, with my GAD, are calm people. Logical people who can tell me its fine and I believe them.

[Anxious_gal]

personally no, i need someone to be rational when I'm all anxious and worked up!
if i was dating someone wit anxiety It would set off my own anxiety!

[Meewah]

Hi

-1+-1=-2

-1+1=0

So yes too negatives will be a bigger negative. My wife is very positive and supports me when I am anxious. Just see how many other positives your partner has.

Happy New Year

Mee

[unspoken]

It is difficult being with someone who doesn't understand GAD. My friends say things like 'What could you possibly have to worry about now?' and I had a relationship which kind of disintegrated partly because he couldn't deal with my low moods and anxiety.

At the moment I'm in a relationship with someone who suffers from very low self esteem, social anxiety and depression. When we're both feeling alright, things are great. When one of us is feeling down, the other is able to be understanding and comforting. But when both of us are feeling bad, it doesn't work very well. I think the most important thing is to be with someone who is understanding of anxiety. But someone rational is much more useful than someone who also panics, even if you sometimes feel irritated by them and distant.

[Bill]

I think it's impossible to generalise and definitely not clearcut. For instance, you could have one partner without anxiety with the OH who does and they get on well together but you can also have 2 sufferers together who get on well together because they understand each other.

I think the important factors are love, trust and Support. It doesn't matter what someone suffers from when 2 people love and support each other for their personalities.

I'm an anxiety sufferer and I'd find it a great pleasure being with another anxiety sufferer because I understand them and know how they're feeling so them being an anxiety sufferer wouldn't even come into the equation. If 2 people constantly bring each other down for whatever reason, there will be no love or support so the relationship will never work but those reasons can be totally unrelated to anxiety as well.

It's not about anxiety- it's how people interact with each other regardless of what they suffer from that matters most.:hugs: