ecstasy and disgusted with myself

[victoria_s]

hi everyone, well ive been feeling ok for a couple of months, getting out and about alot, really overcame anxiety in leaps and bounds, only to go out last night with a bunch of old friends and plummet back down. A few people were taking e's so like a complete idiot and a few drinks later i took one. i was ok , did get a biy jittery. now i am laid in bed full of hate with myself to do something so stupid when i was doing so well i could cry if i wasnt so scared about my heart rate now!! tight chest, numbess all those horrible things i had gotten over are now back with a vengance and im waiting for palps to convince me the e is going to give me a heart attack. what an idiot i am. if im not seriously ill i know i will be convinced that the whole impending heart attack will be back for a while. i cant put into words how bloody angry i am with myself i was doing so well. im too scared to go out today in case i have a panic attack. i cant understand why i do this to myself???

[Jamiesouthern]

Dont beat yaself up :-) were only human. We make stupid decisions from time to time and shouldnt put ourselves down about things. Jus lay up in bed, watch a film and eat some ice cream. You wouldnt think im a male haha but i love to do this :-) my favorite thing

And its jus a placebo from the e i think, a day after thing if you will. Like i said, relax, film, ice cream and bed! Always good times

Hope you feel better :-)

[victoria_s]

thanks for your reply. im just worried about the damage i might of caused to my heart, i really should of known this would happen. il do what you suggested but maybe a takeaway instead of ice cream :)

[PoppyC]

Hi
I agree with the previous post from Jamie. Just take time today to rest, relax and look after yourself. Try and think positively - I know its hard to sometimes- but try to. I am sure you won't a heart attack, but obviously you know taking E's is not good for your health.
Let this experience put you off ever taking a drug again, because next time it could be a lot worse.
I hope you feel a lot better soon.
Look after yourself

[victoria_s]

i will never touch a drug again its just not worth the horrific next day and not to mention i was frightened to go to sleep , like i probably will be tonight and the rest! it has defiantly closed the book on drugs for me. the most stupid part is when i was younger i used to take es and coke very frequently which i would definatly contribute towards the anxiety and panic i feel now. i had not touched a drug in well over a year until last night and certainly wont be doing it again. i even stopped smoking 3 months ago due to health fears. i felt so bad after doing it that it really wasnt worth the cig!! i will learn one day i hope!

[Jellie]

:hugs: It happens to everyone, I did them myself a few times when i was younger and always felt unclean and pants afterwards for sure. Try to avoid stimulants (caffiene, alcohol, sugar etc). and get lots of veg and water as it will ease the symptoms, and i agree relax, have a bubble bath or and some nice nomnoms and herb teas/hot water & lemon if you have some. Sometimes these experiences are blessings in disguise as they can put you off stuff thats no good for our bodies for sure. Hope you feel better soon *huggles* xx

[sarah jayne]

Try not to worry, if u took it last night it will be out your system now. Make sure u drink plenty of fluids and try to eat something, even if its just a bowl of cereal or soup. Your not the only 'idiot' lol, i did this in my wild party days, to be honest i think thats what started all my anxiety. Have a nice long soak in the bath and get an early night, im sure you willl feel much better in the morning xxx

[Jamiesouthern]

Jus checkin your feeling ok? And did you enjoy ya relaxing day :) news years day is all about laziness so i hope your took advantage lol

[victoria_s]

hi yes im ok just worried about a panic attack coming on even though ive been fine all day . dreading going to sleep tonight thats when it will start! do you think its possible to have serious effects 24 hours later?

[andrea thompson]

hiya hon
i hope you are feeling better now. recently someone recomended a warm bath and it really did the trick for me. i agree with all the previous posts. dont beat yourself up we all do daft stuff sometimes.. if there was a national award for daftness i would be the winner...lol.

i agree with the other person who posted saying that the pill wil be out of your system now.. you are feeling like you do prob because you are tired and a bit hung over. because you are anxious you are dwelling on your symptoms and feeling worse.

if its any concellation i used to take loads of recreational drugs and always fealt pants afterwards. i blame my lifestyle for my anxiety and depression. oh and dont think because you feel like this now you have gone back to the start.. this is a blip - nothing more - in a couple of days you will be fine - back on top.

take care hon

andrea x x

[victoria_s]

that is what i was mainly worried about ...i suppose if something was going to happen it would of last night... i cant believe people put themselves through this (the old me being included), i actually hate anything making me feel out of control, i remember once the doctor gave me valium for a long flight (i totally dont like flying) and the feeling of being knocked out as such when it was kicking in sent me into full blown panic mode ! anyway, i have CERTAINLY learnt a lesson today, how on earth some people do it everyday and for years on end i will never know . thank you all very much for your replies even though it was stupidly self inflicted. i really love this forum it has helped me so much through really bad times over the past couple of years even when i wasnt posting just reading. :hugs:

[Danath]

I've not doen E's myself but My story was very similar to yours just with cannabis, which too can screw with your mind. I do know however that they put your seratonin pumps into overdrive so that come the next day theres nothing left. An old freind of mine who used to be a raver in his younger days once told me abotu 'The Raver's Breakfast' Which consisted of a pint of fresh orange juice and as many bananas as you can eat. I believe the bananas help restore seratonin to the body, so maybe have a go at that :)

Dan

[peach]

hi,

i agree with the others, the drug is out of your system now, and if it was going to do anything really bad to you, it would have happened in the first hour of taking it.
i also took a lot of bad things when i was in my early 20s....and the comedown is always awful....you will be totally fine. drink water,juice, eat fruit etc...toast...
just good food that will help your system recover...

take care of yourself and it sounds like this will remind you next time you are offered e's again.

good luck!

[Jamiesouthern]

Im like danath, I have never done e but i am all to familiar with cannabis, seven years to be exact lol And i always find cranberry juice and plenty of water to flush my system always worked. Been a detox of mine for a while.
But we all do stupids things and my youthful days of being stupid means im paying for it now, but i have learnt and im trying to build my self back up.

I hope your take away was satisfying :-)

[victoria_s]

hi guys, just wanted to say thanks for the nice messages, i was better than i thought and did manage to get to sleep and feel ok today. still a bit tense in chest but thats from the worrying obviously :) to jamiesouthern- i ended up having an indian which was indeed very nice, probably not the best choice health wise but it was the only place open on new years day :) thanks again.x

[Jamiesouthern]

I to had a curry haha made myself tho :) im a bit poor lol student loan aint for a week :)

Good to hear ya well tho :)

[Lissy43]

Glad you are feeling better now. Don't beat yourself up, we all do things we regret. Just don't do it again!!;-)lol!