When did your health anxiety start?

[Girl_Interrupted]

As I seem to be going through a bit of a rough patch with my HA at the moment I thought i'd ask 'where it all began'

For me it started when I was 12, my step dad died of prostate cancer when I was 7, I never knew my biological father he died wihen I was 9 months old of a heart attack!

I was never really preoccupied with my health until I was at school around 11/12 years old and the teacher was talking about HIV/Aids the big thing at the time. Anyway to cut along story short I went home thinking I had it. Bearing in mind I was at 0 risk from ever having it. The fear of having HIV lasted for 20 years, b4 having a test, which came back negative. That was 4 years ago, u'd think i'd be happy having a negative result, yes I was but.... since then i have done nothing but fill my head with every disease possible, from brain tumours, to MS. I've been down the doctors so many times i've lost count, had endless tests and spoken to far to many psychologists! and here I am at 34 living the same old cycle. Sometimes I can go for months without any problems and feel I have mastered it, but the slightest ache or pain that I can't rationalize sends me into orbit with panic. (like now) Its not all bad however, I do have a fantastic relationship with my boyfriend, and have support from family and close friends. Well thats me, I look forward to hearing how it all began from you.:)

[pollyanna]

Hi Girl


mine started when i had my son 18 years ago, i had a very traumatic experience during the delivery, i wont go into the details of it, but i can trace everything back to then, i was also an worrier by nature, but my anxiety reallly took off after this .and it has just got worse over the years the older i have got, and i was so scared and traumatised i never had any other children, which i feel so sad about, but i could never put myself in that postion again by choice. It is definately in my genes, my sisters also suffer from anxiety, one of them quite badly too.
I have a great GP, , supportive family and friends, and have regular appointments with my psycologist and psychiatrist, just as well cos at a lot of times it is jus* pants,*. anyway, thats my story.

Best wishes

P x

[Ella_Jayne]

I'm not sure when my health anxiety first started.:huh:
Probably as a kid at some point. Although i wasn't afraid that something was wrong with me at first, it was other people like my Mum, sister and so on.

As I got older if I had any weird symptoms of anything that I hadn't felt before I immediately thought the worst but after the symptoms subsided I could usually shake it off. It didn't rule my life.

At the time I thought I was at a normal state of anxiety but I look back now and see different.

It wasn't until I had my first panic attack that I developed severe Health anxiety. 5 months ago at 21. I was pretty anxious a few weeks before, I had read in the media that a footballer age 23 had died from a heart attack and I started to think... 'What, how??' I looked it up on the internet (I wish i hadn't now) and I became obsessed with young people dying of heart problems.

I became short of breath (from anxiety) and I thought it was due to an underlying heart condition that I had. I was convinced that something was going to happen to me, Cardiac arrest... something!:ohmy:

So then I had a panic attack when I woke up after a nap. I was on my own at the time and litterally thought that I was going to die. I felt faint, my heart was pounding, the room was spinning, I ran for the front door to find help.

Since then, and countless of tests later doctors have yet to find anything wrong with me, ...physically anyway. I've been for CBT but it hasn't done me any good.
I have good and bad days like everyone else. But most days I'm convinced that I'm going to have a heart attack or some sort of sudden death. It stops me doing a lot of things. At times I feel dizzy, short of breath, off balance, that everything around me isn't real.

I'm not on any medication as I know it's only a short term solution. I want to find something long term. I want to overcome this, but a lot of the time I'm wrapped up in my own negative thoughts and believe that there is something physically wrong that the doctors have missed. :lac:

I wish I could turn back time to 5 months ago. There are so many things that I would change.:unsure:

[Ronny]

Hi, Well mine started after my first panic attack a number of years back.Every little ache and pain I think of the worst,from ms to tumours and heart problems.I to can go for several weeks feeling great,and then wham...it will start again.What you have to do is recognise what is happening and say to yourself this is just anxiety,do breathing exercises to help you relax.It sounds like you had it pretty tough as a child and you are still holding on to the past.Have you a good Psych,and the right meds for you..I do hope you start to feel better ....all the best...ronny

[Girl_Interrupted]

Hey guys, thanks for responing to thread, I find it interesting to see what triggers of HA for other people, I kinda know now that mine was to do with the loss of my step dad, I didnt grieve properly, and at such a young age I got completely over-dosed with emotions and feelings, from which I didnt know what to do about it. I never had the help or support at that time, from school or doctors. My mum just thought I was a 'typical' teenager. It wasnt until much later that I could talk to my mum about how I felt, we have a better relationship now.
I've been through antidepressants and to be honest they dont work for me, however I know others who have had success with them. As for pyschologists, for me I have come to the end of the road with the last one, there isnt much more they can do for me anymore. As I have good understanding of my anxiety and where it comes from, the problem I have is living with it, and coping with the bumps in the road when my HA takes over.

Good to hear from you all :)

[Going home]

It started for me when my heart began to play up when I was in my 20s and I thought I was dying. Many years and many tests later ive accepted that I have a good heart, a strong heart and don't live with this fear now thankfully, but...I also suffer with claustrophobia and a smattering of agoraphobia for good measure, which means I can go out with members of family or close froends, but not really alone.

I can only think that because I was in a bad marriage with a baby and with no money that stress brought on these palpitations, so that's what it started with for me. And of course, like everyone, the fear of it kept it all going over the years.

Going home xx

[marley]

Hi there -

I've always had problems with generalised anxiety, since I was a small child - but the health anxiety got really bad when I found a lymph node. A little one. 5-6mm. Tiny. Of course, silly me I googled the location of it, and Dr Google told me I had metastatic cancer. I'm a healthy 24 year old woman. Even without any symptoms. Dr Google then told me my allergies and itchy skin meant I had lymphoma. I am still dealing with this fear. It's horrid!

It's odd. A lot of us can be grouped into camps for our fears. I'm definitely a lymph-er. Those buggers are scary.

[WeeSmallHours]

My anxiety in general started when I was around 19. I don't recall ever having anxiety issues before that, but I did have OCD issues since I was around 12. It was much easier to shake things off at an earlier age, but as I get older it seems it becomes more difficult (I am a 32 year old male). However I do think I grow stronger every time I manage to get out of a bad period (in one now).

I remember having a panic attack when I was 19 away at a conference for work. I thought it was an acid flashback or something along those lines from drug use in my mid to late teens. Looking back I was able to identify it as a panic attack. I have had a few health anxiety run ins since I was around 20. AIDS was an early one. I also had a friend die at 27 of melanoma so of course that was a tough one to deal with, and it still crops up sometimes. I have had concerns about my heart, my neck (I have some neck issues I have had PT for), and my head.

I am currently struggling with head issues after hitting my head last week. It is a strange thing being so scared about something that is a) out of your control and b) most likely not even an issue. What I find to be fascinating is the perception of your state of mind during anxiety episodes when you are looking back coming out of it. And yet, I still never recognize it really until it is too late. And then once I am starting to get down I start to look back at the triggers in the recent past. Just need to keep forging ahead and trying to learn as we go.

[MissJennayee]

I've had health anxiety since I was a little little girl. Around 5 or so, as long as I can remember really. Of course then, it was nothing major- I worried about the "tummy bug" that was my only concern. I would cry all hours of the night afraid to sleep because I didn't want to wake up and have to throw up like I have had to before, I got into to counseling that year, got put on Prozac, and eventually got better and was weaned off it it. A few years later in third grade, a classmate of mine was diagnosed with Leukemia after having a pretty simple nosebleed in class, after that - things went downhill for me and have been ever since - I'm now 19, still obsessing and giving Prozac another go. Hoping it will have the same effect it did last time. *Fingers crossed :)*

[Girl_Interrupted]

The joy of having HA! Sometimes it feels like a life sentence. Every day is like a battlefield of emotions and feelings. Some days I am in so much fear I don't want to leave the house.

I am however trying to 'live' without the constant fear of something awful happening, and enjoy those special moments, with loved ones. I certainly hope you can all do the same :)

[mummygarcia]

im a worrier by nature, but i think my health anxiety really set in after i lost a baby quite late in pregnancy last year - it was around the same time that jade goody was dying of cancer and i was also aware of a relative of a close friend (same age as me with 2 little ones) having been diagnosed with terminal cancer - that really affected me
i worry that i will get ill and leave my daughter motherless - its my worse nightmare

[Acidomoduso]

I suppose i started in the 80's with the advent of all the AIDS adverts. My first foray into the sexual world was a hectic one (unprotected, 4 times in one day - kid in a sweet shop springs to mind!). Unfortunately, i discovered a large purple welt on my man bit that night! :blush: Now, as a 16 year old seeing adverts about lesions and AIDS, this set me off.

My mother is also a serial complainer so i think i've picked up a few bad habits from her. Also, recently, my wife's Grandad died of cancer and we were all there by his side as he died. We watched him quite rapidly be taken over by this disease and it was awful to see someone change so much, and so quickly. :weep: That has an effect on you, especially when you suffer from HA!

Not really an original story but it's mine and that's how it goes! :)

[ZoJo]

My first panic attack was when I was about 6 or 7. It started by me feeling my heart beat and I was convinced it was going to stop. I remember my Dad slapping me round the face and I never had one after that. That is until, my cousin died when I was 15, I had to show the ambulance crew where she was in her bedroom. After that I have always been a worrier, but didn't have another panic attack until I was 34. That was because I had been through a divorce and then a friend died and I got cluster migraines - one after the other for what seems now like months. I thought I was going to die, ended up in A&E twice. I now (touch wood) have had no panic attacks for about 2 years, I can stop them before they happen. I have really worked hard to combat the HA, and thankfully after medication (now stopped) and natural remedies I have wobbly moments far less frequent now. (Tho my husband says its one month wobbly then three months off!!)

[SamanthaAU]

Mine started in the early hours of one morning where I had a funny little 'episode' (I call it this because I still truly don't know what it was) where I felt like I was having a stroke. Numerous tests later, I got told it was probably just a panic attack.

That was September 2008 and my life has unfortunately been very different for me since then.

I have 3 young children. A 4 year old, 2.5 year old and a 11 week old baby and my HA takes me away from them mentally so much but I can't stop it.

For those of you that started with a panic attack, did it come out of the blue, or was there something that triggered it.

[Nomoreworry]

Hi,
I think mine started when I was 12. My mum suffered a brain haemorrhage and I was told that she couldn't survive it and would die within hours. Miraculously she did survive and she is alive and well today. However, since having children five years ago my HA has gotten really bad. I have lost count of the types of cancer that I have believed I have had and I have spent five years worrying that my children have leaukaemia - in fact I am stressing now about my daughter as she has had a virus and is still looking pale.
Things are so bad that I have decided to try hypnosis to see if that can help. HA is a horrid illness but I hope that it is something that one day I (and everybody else out there) can overcome.
Clare x

[LADennis]

Mine started 4 years ago when I had a stroke at the age of 41 and has slowly and progressively gotten worse. Before that I never had a care in the world about symptoms of any kind. I was just a happy go lucky person...wish I could be that person again.

[christinez]

For me it started a bit over 2 years ago, when I was 43. I developed a DVT through taking the Dianette pill to deal with skin problems. A while after, I was looking on a health website (which I now know that I should NEVER have done!) where it stated that a DVT could be a symptom of an underlying cancer. Well, that did it. Ever since then I have been totally convinced that I have breast cancer, bowel cancer, lumps in the abdomen, in the groin and so on. My logical brain tries to tell me that this is all nonsense, that if I did have cancer it would show itself more certainly by now, but no, my mind does its usual panic and spins me off into a cycle of stress and terror. I know I have wasted the last 2 years of my life with these irrational thoughts and fears. The irony of it all is that before the DVT I was absolutely anxiety free and never gave bad health a second thought. But now my confidence in my health and my body's ability to stay healthy has been totally destroyed How can one escape from all this? I would love to go back to being how I was before.

[lillylou17]

Mine started about 12 years ago while i was on holiday in cornwall, i woke with a really bad toothache and popped a few painkillers the pain was really bad when i woke so took a few more this went on through the morning, i went to get breakfast and realised i really did not feel well, which was when i worked out that i had taken far to many painkillers my partner rushed me to the hospital where they pumped my stomach etc, i have never been so scared thinking i had caused some serious damage to my body, and stangely enough i was in the same hospital i had been born in 23 years before, i live 400 miles from there now.
This is what triggered mine off, i have thought i have had allsorts since that day, diabetes, kidney failure, brain tumours every cancer going.
I even phoned my friend at 3 in the morning once to tell her the right side of my head felt heavier than my left, obviously i thought this was a brain tumour.
The funny thing is before all this started i ahve had a few real health scares, i heamorraged after having my first son and because i had a epidural did not feel a thing and i also had quite a few blankets over me so was not till a midwife came to check on me they realised what had happened and panic was everywhere, i was given blood transfusions etc.
I have also suffered from an ectopic that went undiagnosed for 3 months and kept getting sent away from the docs with more anti biotics because they thought it was a infection, again i ended up in hospital in the operating room with my life hanging by a thread, i was very lucky to be alive the surgeon told me the next day.
I do have times where i can go for months sometimes a year or so without the anxiety being there, but it always seems to creep back when i am least expecting it.
I have tried lots over the years from CBT to hypnotherapy, but i have found nothing to rid me of it yet maybe one day we will i really hope so.xx

[Cell block H fan]

As I seem to be going through a bit of a rough patch with my HA at the moment I thought i'd ask 'where it all began'

For me it started when I was 12, my step dad died of prostate cancer when I was 7, I never knew my biological father he died wihen I was 9 months old of a heart attack!

I was never really preoccupied with my health until I was at school around 11/12 years old and the teacher was talking about HIV/Aids the big thing at the time. Anyway to cut along story short I went home thinking I had it. Bearing in mind I was at 0 risk from ever having it. The fear of having HIV lasted for 20 years, b4 having a test, which came back negative. That was 4 years ago, u'd think i'd be happy having a negative result, yes I was but.... since then i have done nothing but fill my head with every disease possible, from brain tumours, to MS. I've been down the doctors so many times i've lost count, had endless tests and spoken to far to many psychologists! and here I am at 34 living the same old cycle. Sometimes I can go for months without any problems and feel I have mastered it, but the slightest ache or pain that I can't rationalize sends me into orbit with panic. (like now) Its not all bad however, I do have a fantastic relationship with my boyfriend, and have support from family and close friends. Well thats me, I look forward to hearing how it all began from you.:)

When I was about 21. Previous to that, we hadn't had any members of the family die at all, not close ones that I knew about anyway. I know, darn lucky! Anyway, when I was 21, my future childrens dads step father had health problems for months, throwing up after eating, pain in his side. Kept being told he had an ulcer, was taking Nurofen & Gaviscon like smarties. About a year after I met the kids dad, his step dad was eventually sent into hospital to have this 'ulcer' looked at. I remember my boyfriend saying he was worried his step dad had cancer. I laughed it off saying no way! We had a call when we were at work not long after the op (we worked in the same place) asking us to go to the hospital. Turned out he had Stomach cancer & they had closed him straight up again, it was too far gone. He was 57. He died 4 months later 3 days after fathers day.
That kinda hit me like a strike of lightning tbh. Misdiagnosis, it just didn't happen in my eyes, doctors were almost like god to me, they were to be completely trusted! And ive had HA off & on since. I'm 39 now by the way.
x

[magpie girl]

I was nearly 3years old when i woke up in my mums arms and she was dead,so ive always been aware how fragile life is.Later on when i lost my first child and nearly died,i was hit by sudden panic,but did not realise what was happening,I was 21 and convinced i was going to die like my mum,the fear was unbearable.I sufferd anxiety off and on over the years but was finally diagnosed in 2006,

[Cell block H fan]

I was nearly 3years old when i woke up in my mums arms and she was dead,so ive always been aware how fragile life is.Later on when i lost my first child and nearly died,i was hit by sudden panic,but did not realise what was happening,I was 21 and convinced i was going to die like my mum,the fear was unbearable.I sufferd anxiety off and on over the years but was finally diagnosed in 2006,

:ohmy: OMG How awful :hugs:

[steven67]

mine started 5yrs ago when i had a accident in work [long distance driver] before then not even a headache, but i think myself it was building up for yrs myself. bullied for yrs in school, i just hid away in my head, the accident just bought it out i guess .:D

[Girl_Interrupted]

Just been reading your posts, thank you so much for sharing them with me. I just wanna say how brave we all are, we might have HA, but we are all strong people with good hearts, who need that little bit of understanding and compassion, from a world that can be overwhelming at times.

Big hugs to all : ) oxoxoxoxox

[gypsywomen]

mine came on 3 years ago out of the blue went to bed very happy next day well didnt get up had a chill then got worse feeling deppressed didnt come out of my room for 3 months ,docter said i had post trumatic stress sydrome ,

[mike_coventry_uk]

mine started back in feb 2009,alomost a year of this horrible illness.

i thought i found a lump in my testicle and had it checked at the hospital and by my gp and both confirmed it was nothing to worry about,since then i have gone from one terminal ill ness to the other and convinced myself i have it! so far i have hadlung cancer,skin cancer,testicular cancer and my latest fear which i have been living with for almost a month is a brain tumor.

because of the physical symptoms been similar to those of a brain tumor i find it very hard to tell myself that it is the anxiety at work. i feel lighthead most days from the min i wake up until i go to bed. when i am working it tends to go away a bit and not be so noticable. my main problem is i research thru the internet and health books and almost develop other symptoms because of how i feel. basically i think i am causing myself to feel the symptoms. the doc told me in dec he thought i probably had a ear infection,the lightheadness went then for almost 2 weeks but is now back wit avengance.

thankfully i m partaking in counselling for my ha. hopefully soon il be back to myself and be able to start enjoying life again!?

[iworryallthetime]

Hi There ,
I to suffer with health anxiety is a slight comfort to know im not the only one with this ..i am in a bad place now and am once again seeking medical reasurance ,but doctors were a bit short with me last week when i went , having Full blood tests tomorrow , as feeling tired , dizzy at times , generally sooo anxious all the time ...its like being on a roller coaster ride up and down all the time ...

[Cat80]

Mine started when I was 12 and my Nan died of Alzheimers. As I only have my Mum in my life I got really clingy and worried that myself or my Mum was going to die. It got really bad 3 years ago when I had a bug and was sick (a phobia of mine). Si nce then every little twinge I've turned into cancer, appendicitis etc and it's doing my head in

[Cico]

When I was about 16.

I was going abroad for the first time without any relatives and for some reason I started worrying that I would take ill while I was in a foreign country.

11 years later and it doesn't seem to be much better although I am taking Paroxetine regularly which does help.

[anxietycontrol]

i beleive mine started due to heavy drug use from age of 18 onwards, wasnt til i was 22 when i had my very first panic attack on speed, so that was scary.

i pushed my heart to the limit with cocaine, ive had some proper scary chest pains and other symptoms on that stuff after longterm use but like i said i was really pushing my luck. it makes me feel sick just thinking what i was like.

hense why i beleive my heart will give up on me now and why i worry so much about every pain, twinge or ache in my chest and arms, im 25 now and my anxiety is with me every day.

[mikhail1028]

My anxiety started about a month ago when i started googlin regarding HIV symptoms it was the longest 3 weeks of my life felt al the symptoms on me are HIV related knowing i have a low risk(protected non-penetrative sex) i even consulted my GP on this to check if i had swollen lymph nodes on which my doc says im 100% healthy

[joyce1980]

I'm not sure when my health anxiety first started.:huh:
Probably as a kid at some point. Although i wasn't afraid that something was wrong with me at first, it was other people like my Mum, sister and so on.

As I got older if I had any weird symptoms of anything that I hadn't felt before I immediately thought the worst but after the symptoms subsided I could usually shake it off. It didn't rule my life.

At the time I thought I was at a normal state of anxiety but I look back now and see different.

It wasn't until I had my first panic attack that I developed severe Health anxiety. 5 months ago at 21. I was pretty anxious a few weeks before, I had read in the media that a footballer age 23 had died from a heart attack and I started to think... 'What, how??' I looked it up on the internet (I wish i hadn't now) and I became obsessed with young people dying of heart problems.

I became short of breath (from anxiety) and I thought it was due to an underlying heart condition that I had. I was convinced that something was going to happen to me, Cardiac arrest... something!:ohmy:

So then I had a panic attack when I woke up after a nap. I was on my own at the time and litterally thought that I was going to die. I felt faint, my heart was pounding, the room was spinning, I ran for the front door to find help.

Since then, and countless of tests later doctors have yet to find anything wrong with me, ...physically anyway. I've been for CBT but it hasn't done me any good.
I have good and bad days like everyone else. But most days I'm convinced that I'm going to have a heart attack or some sort of sudden death. It stops me doing a lot of things. At times I feel dizzy, short of breath, off balance, that everything around me isn't real.

I'm not on any medication as I know it's only a short term solution. I want to find something long term. I want to overcome this, but a lot of the time I'm wrapped up in my own negative thoughts and believe that there is something physically wrong that the doctors have missed. :lac:

I wish I could turn back time to 5 months ago. There are so many things that I would change.:unsure:





I wasted sooo many years of my life with my anxiety and ocd,
cbt and talking did not anything for me.... do you know what did and still does??? MEDS yes Meds my goodness why must everyone one here make me feel like im weak????
I am the strongest person I know, I have been on meds since i was 18 and have come off before for quite a few months and slowly slowly i went back to my OCD ways.

My psychiatrist said its no big deal to take them for the rest of your life, you only get one.

I guess the meds made my life so much better by allowing me to just live and not panic that I wish others would see its not being weak and it can be long term if you need it.

In many cases it is a chemical imbalance for others is was experience, you wont know if they work for you unless (under supervision) you try.

Sorry to go on and on as I know some people have had bad experiences with meds but at least they know that route does not work for them

[andrea thompson]

hi all...
i have always been an anxious person .. even when i was a child but my health anxiety started when i started having panic attacks and then depression in my early twenties... i blame my lifestyle. at the time i was a bit of a wild child, experimenting with drugs and alcohol, all night parties and not eating properly... oh how i wish i had known then what i know now!!!!!!

i have been good for about four years until having a miscarraige five months ago.. it has left me with depression and anxiety but i am back on the meds, chilling loads and getting plenty of exercise and i am getting better... i am at about 75% now.... so roll on being my old self again.!!!!

any ache or pain or weird sensation and i am no good - its awful... but we get through it dont we... some how....

good luck and i hope you all feeling better soon... x x

[looking4answers]

I have had it every since I can remember .. I am 55 now so .. hope that helps.. Michael

[julieannboo]

my health anxiety started last summer when i went swimming and got chorline in my ear - i had head pressure for three weeks afterwards.

shortly after that i had a virus with muscle aches.

inbetween all of them i am a regular migraine sufferer.

[busybeingmum]

Mine started when I found a lump in my breast 2 years ago. Baby was 6 months old and I was still feeding him. Ended up having a biopsy and the scariest week of my life waiting for results. Biopsy results fine but then I developed a nasty infection in my beast (biopsy went through milk ducts) and ended up in hospital, very ill, for 5 days. So awful as I had to stop feeding baby who's never had bottle. Also, we moved house day I got results and then developed infection. A hellish few weeks. HA really started to kick in after that and I convinced myself I was dieing of breast cancer. From them on I've had all sorts of worries. CBT helped a bit - I'm hoping to have some more to get me back on track. I used to be a really sane person about my health until this event triggered the HA. It is a horrid condition and I feel I have wasted so much of my precious children growing up.....

[UFC_fan]

MIne started about 10 years ago, took an ecstacy pill and had an almighty panice attack - thought I was dying and have never really been right since.

Having a particularly bad time at the moment, probably the most consistantly bad period ever!!

[hyperanxious]

hi there

mine started just a year after i had the first panic attack,i was 32. it was triggered when i had bell's palsy. i feared that i will never recover my normal functioning of my affected face. i consulted dr google but it only added more fear and frustration on my part, so much to speak of the prognosis,recovery percentage of the affected person, and some never recovered at all- this is according to dr google. So at that instance i felt that what if i am one of the "never recovered at all" it is so horrifying then goes my panic attack after attack. So now, even a little numbness i feel in my face or a little twitching of my lips causes me to feel anxious and occupied that i might have another palsy or more serious health problem. now i am feeling a dull pain just above my clavicle that radiates into my neck,and i noticed that i have a hard lymph node on that area. i am fearing that this a symptom of a neck related cancer....

and oh by the way, bout my bell's palsy? i can say that i am 98% recovered in 15 months time.

[Typer]

What an interesting thread. Its so nice to learn about people.

For me, I am trying to work out if or why I have HA. I started having the skipped heart beats/ectopics a couple of years ago...but it was one, maybe two a month and I thought it was just a twitch or something. They got progressively worse until I ended up in A and E thinking I was about to die, or at the very least go unconscious. From then on I have walked in fear with them. They rule my life, my plans, everything.

A few months ago, I started feeling dizzy all day too, and had strange jumpy feelings at night. Now I have full blown panic attacks. So In would say it started 9 months or so ago.

I don't seem to worry about any other health problems...like if I get a headache...I just think, headache. Right now I have a huge bump come up under my eye but I think maybe its just a cyst or something.

[shanlynn1012]

In hind sight I think I ALWAYS had this but was jsut too busy working and doing stuff I never let it consume me. I used to sit at my desk at work and think my scalp felt weird I must have a brain tumor. It really went out of control during my 2nd pregnancy, it all started with a lump in my mouth no one knew what it was and no one seemed concerned, EXCEPT ME. I kept going back to the dentist and calling (after I hit up Dr Google a million times) finally he referred me to an oral surgeon all said it looked like nothing we will x ray you after preganncy. That was like 6 months away! I went to ENT then all of a sudden I was finding lumps all over my mouth I inissited one get removed, i began headaches, facial pain googling all the while. Also had a lump in breast had to get that scanned, i swore I had DVT had a scan I went nuts. After pregancny I had CONSTAT facial pain so I went from Dr to Dr no one knew what it was got 2 MRI's & 2 CT scans, i began panic attacks I was unable to wait for the results I was sure I had MS. I had to stop nursing to go on nerve medication and went nutty for months. The nerve medication did nothing and I tried accupunture finally i started suffering CONSTANT derealizzation and started therapy & Zoloft I did great for many months. Until recently I am plagued with this burning skin and off to Dr google i went never once thinking it was anxiety. I am so glad to have found this site and other people like me. I am trying really hard to get over it all. Google and time home has been my worst enemies

[Ronny]

Yes,thinking back i ahve had this bloody illness for years,my lifestyle was to blame,to many drugs and drink.Living around and with bikies(my hubby is one) did not help.I now am back to some kind of sanity,with the help from a wonderful Health Psych,and GP,also my family i am now trying my best to lead some kind of life.:)

[blondie47]

Like many of you, the death of a parent is what set it off for me. My Dad was diagnosed with lung cancer 21 years ago - he fought long and hard, but died less than 2 years after his diagnosis. We were very close. His actual death was not so hard, it was the illness and all the waiting and suffering that scarred me for my life.

My mother on the other hand just up and died one day. She sat down in her chair and went to sleep (heart attack). I pray to God every day that I go that way. So much easier for everyone involved. Yes, it is hard to lose someone suddenly, but knowing they didn't suffer or only suffered very briefly is comforting. When someone you love is ravaged by cancer but fighting like hell just to stay alive, but then loses their battle anyway, you just never get over something like that. At least I never have. Which is why to this day, 20 years later, every few months I come up with a new cancer that I must have (and its always one that is very hard if not impossible to beat). I've also made myself sick thinking I had AIDS and heart disease too. With each of these "illnesses" I develop the main "symptoms" -- I still can't quite figure out how that happens other than to say the mind is a very poweful thing. When I thought I had AIDS I actually had my lymph nodes swell up. I have no idea how my mind could make my body do that, but ever since I took the test years ago and know now that I don't have AIDS, I've never had a problem with swollen lymph nodes again. Its crazy, how the mind plays tricks on people with HA.