How do I know what to do?

[i love tea]

Hi everyone, just wanting a little bit of advice really...

Back at work today after the Christmas break, but struggling. Have had anxiety problems for several years now, but mainly been able to cope in my full time job. Just recently though, I've been finding it more and more difficult to concentrate - I get stuck in anxious thought patterns that I can't seem to snap out of.

Also been feeling quite low, and don't feel like I've got the energy to fight the anxiety at the minute.

I don't know what to do. I can feel myself 'sinking' a bit and I'm worried about having to take time off work - I don't really enjoy my job all that much, so I might never want to come back!! But I need the money and I worry about letting people down. Maybe I'm not as bad as I think I am and I just need to distract myself with work, if that makes sense!!

It's all so confusing - I want to feel better but I don't know how to start:unsure:

[ZoJo]

Hi I love Tea,

Going back to work after Christmas is a big sigh!
It is frustrating to get caught in the anxiety circle and it does seem that you can never step out of it, but you can.
Think positive thoughts and try and enjoy work at the moment even if its for the positive reason of being paid! :)
Wish I could be more helpful!!

[i love tea]

Thank you :) I am waiting to hear back from MIND about some online CBT - I think that will help a lot. I know I am in a fortunate position at the moment to actually have a job...

I think it's worrying me because I'm scared it'll get to the point where I don't feel well enough to work - and I worry about how I would tell my bosses and colleagues and what they would think of me. Would they think I was making it up as I hide it quite well at the moment.... All that sort of stuff. I'm quite good at feeding my anxieties, which is why I think/hope the CBT will help!

[ZoJo]

I went to one CBT session, I couldn't continue because I had just had my son and I didn't have anyone to look after him when I went. I have heard it is a really good help, my doctor gave me a website (Moodgym) to try. I have read mixed reviews about it, but I found it interesting and helpful at the time.

Don't worry about work, you are the most important thing and getting better. It does happen!! You also do sound positive in your posts, especially about your work (you come across very conscientious and caring about work, which is positve!!) and
easy for me to say, but try not to focus on a situation that hasn't happened, i.e not being well enough to work and telling your bosses (Does that make sense??) consentrate on the steps you have taken so far which are steps to getting better. It takes time and you are on the right path!

[i love tea]

Thanks ZoJo :flowers: I will look up the Moodgym website too.

You're right - I will try to focus on the 'here and now' and not what may or may not happen!

x

[ZoJo]

Go for it!!!
x

[ElizabethJane]

Dear 'I love tea' speaking from my own experience I would personally try to stay in work if at all possible. If it looks as if you will need to take some time off work then speak to your manager and arrange a sick note. Life will be much harder for you without a job. If you are spiralling ie not getting enough sleep and feeling continually tired and depressed and unable to cope speak to your GP. I have tried CBT in the past as a day patient in hospital. I was probably unable to benefit from it as I was too depressed to do the homework. I tried very hard to fulfil the tasks but I just couldn't do it. The feedback was done as a group session and it just did not work for me. My emotions just spilled out in what should have been a controlled session. Since then I have bought 'CBT for dummies' and I have been plouging through it on my own. What I am really trying to say is that if CBT does not work then it isn't the be all and end all of everything. This latest bout of depression for me has responded well to drug treatment. I have an excellent psychiatrist and I chat to him. Don't give up things will improve for you.

[i love tea]

Thanks ElizabethJane, that's very wise advice. I will stick at it at work, and when I'm feeling a bit better, I think I'll concentrate on looking for a different job.

Really appreciate your help, thank you :flowers: