View Full Version : Help!
I don't know if its health anxiety or just health... but I'm anxious and totally flattened today.
I have had a sinus/ear problem, been off all week and finally took antibiotics since yesterday which has been ok so far and sinuses seem to be improving - but I'm just so so fed up cos i keep getting shingles and today it's spread more. It makes you feel so awful, its on my hip so the gland in my groin swells and my whole leg ages and it's probably what's been making me feel ill all week more than the other thing.
Just can't help thinking something worse is happening that's causing it to behave like this - it's on the same side as my kidney tumour (benign but due to be scanned again in Feb). I just feel ill all the time. I have had a stressful week - I had a lodger with me who moved out last night. She was really difficult, coming in drunk and all over the place every fridy and saturday - but i didn't ask her to leave cos I need the money but she told me 2 weeks ago she was going. I am struggling to pay a mortgage on a one bedroom flat (Its huge so makes 2 bedsits) so the money is a stress but i have found someone temp until after xmas so it's not too bad and I'm glad she's gone. She created a terrible atmosphere, when here never talked - suffered from very severe depression and locked herself in room after work mon-fri - I felt sorry for her and tried to talk but in the end couldn't cope with it in my home. She had terrible problems I won't go into here....
I've tried to get myself together today, clean up the room etc but the site of my hip just tipped me over when I got out of the shower. I eat healthily, try to relax exercise etc, take vits, think positive but my body just keeps throwing stuff at me. I have ME which is probably the unerlying cause and also I'm menopausal. Don't have much chance really! I feel really lonely today - everyone I would talk to is busy typically this time of year and my mum wants me to go round cos she's feeling low. I can't lean on her she's 84, can't let her see what a state I'm in again - it freaks her out. And my son is having a tough weekend, his wife who has lymphoma and is in remission had her blood test yesterday and gets results on Tuesday and every time it is terrifying for them so I don't want him to worry about me because he really does!
Well thanks to anyone who has read this far! I don't know what I expect from writing this down here but it seems to help more than writing in my diary!
fee
xx
Hi Fee,
Aww (((Fee))) I'm sending you a big hug. I know how you feel, with so many health things going on, some days it's hard to work out what is causing what. Shingles must be pretty painful though on top of everything else.
It seems like you have a lot to deal with at the moment with health, the lodgers, your sons wifes results etc.
Don't be hard on yourself for feeling like you do, you are doing all the right things but sometimes life is still tough and throws one thing after another at us.
Sorry I can't help much but I hope you feel better soon.
Take care,
Lisa
thanks lisa - I know you're having a tough time too!! I don't often get reduced to snivelling but i really am today!
I needed that hug - big hug back to you!
fee
xx
Feege
you are allowed to feel unwell, you have shingles and a rotten sinus infection, i get so mad at how unfair it is that we people who suffer from anxiety always feel so guilty about feeling unwell, everyone always tells us its our anxiety and we get no symptoms but we do still suffer from illnesses as well, cherish yourself for the next few days and allow your antibiotics to work
take care
I just want my life back
nell
x
Thanks Nell - I want my life back too (or maybe someone else's!) - or just someone else's body praps!!
Its true why do i feel guilty and ashamed - it's ridiculous.
BTW anybody know whether you can drink with Amoxycillin? Don't want to look it or or I'll collect new side effects! LOL
Fee x
fee
xx
Hi Fee,
I don't know specifically about amoxycillin but it's never a good idea to drink alcohol with any antibiotics. Usually they tell you not to.
Lisa
Hi Fee,
I agree with Lisa perhaps treat yourself to a nice bottle of something once the antibiotics are finished.
Like Lisa I am sending you a hug too - I felt a bit like this at the beginning of the year and thought surely all of these symptoms can't be anxiety and of course not all of them were. I had a cyst on my ovary for about a year that gave me twinges and a scare but then suddenly it went. I had IBs for a month or two etc etc I had stomach probs the year before that etc etc etc.
Anyway some of the stuff was anxiety some of it wasn't but I sure as hell got fed up of being prodded about and having tests.
Sometimes we seem to have patches of this and then have good long spells of being ok.
I am sure Lisa and Mandie can help with the ME side of things and I do hope you start feeling better soon.
Love Piglet :)
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
What was the ear problems you had please? As I am experiencing ear problems that are freaking me out and the anti biotics did not help and I am starting to think that mine is only caused from anxiety.
Thanks
Paul
Thanks lisa and piglet (my real nickname is piglet too!) and that's my favourite quote you put at the bottom! Love it!
Yes I thought I might try and meet my friends who are going for a drink nearby tonight but I can't go without having a drink and it probably really isn't a good idea with antibiotics and shingles but it would be so nice to feel part of the real world - I worry that if i don't go out for any length of time i'll lose the ability which i nearly have a couple of times in the past. So I made myself go and post some cards and would round the dials which is the little part of brighton i live in! Was completely exhausted on the way back and it starte to sleet and I thought I must have been mad!
Lisa do you see a specialist about your ME? I did years ago (Pinching at Barts in London) but haven't for ages - my GP has just referred me to someone locally but its at the chest clinic which seems a bit odd! I'm trying to confront all my collection of ailments at the moment which is why they're all so bad. I want to try and get DLA so I can work less hours - I just can't manage full time nor live on a part-time wage nor handle selling and moving into rented! I know it is possible to get DLA but i just don't fit the mould in the right way!
So it's another night in with X-factory/strictly poncing about/I'm a celebrity save my career then I guess!!
ho hum....
fee
xx
Hi Paul - me too! I just had this odd sensation in my ear and my head felt full of fluid and I was dizzy - I thought it was just me and anxiety but doc said there was fluid in my ear! It seems to be settling a bit but is worse first thing in the morning when i feel like my whole head is swollen (well almost!). It was just uncomfortable, not painful, and odd. Seems a lot of people are mentioning ear problems on here - perhaps there's a virus going round?
Hope yours settles soon too!
fee
xx
Hi Fee,
Could you not go out tonight and not have an alcoholic drink, just stick to soft drinks? Just a thought. Can you still drink alcohol with your ME, many ME sufferes can't tolerate it. I'm one of them. Doesn't bother me as I didn't drink before the ME really. I'm staying in the warm until I'm better anyway, don't want this infection on my chest too.
I hope your ears are feeling a bit better now, although I know the tablets take a while to work. I've taken three now! I sometimes get fluid in my ears, for me it's glue ear caused by allergies.
I know how you feel with the symptoms. I have a cyst on one of my kidneys (found by chance when scanning something else). My gp sent me to be scanned twice, then asked a specialist for advice. He said a high % of people have kidney cysts, they just don't know it. he said forget about it and didn't want to scan it again. Of course any twinge I get in that area and I think it must be growing! The power of the mind is amazing.
Yes Fee I see a ME specialist in Oxford. He diagnosed it and I've seen him a couple of times since. I've also seen one of his therapists to help me with pacing. Next I am seeing a graded exercise person to help them with a new trial for ME. My CBT therapist is also familiar with treating ME. I am also doing a 6 week (2.5 hrs a week) course to help people with ME & similar things, learn to live with long term conditions. It's not much help but has been nice to meet other sufferers face to face. Made me realise I was lucky compared to some of them too. My gp is very good on the ME front and even went on a course to understand it better. They are trying to cut all the facilities in this area for ME by 60% though. All due to budget cuts. I am lucky with doctors here but there is only so much they can do really.
Wow do you work full time? I have had ME 2.5 years and worked full time until last July. The ME specialist said I couldn't carry on full time as I was constantly trying to do too much. It sounds like you're doing quite alot too but it must be hard when you need the money. I am married and luckily hubby earns quite a good salary. I still feel guilty for not contributing as much as I used to though.
Mostly I manage the part time hours (23 per week) but even struggle with that occasionally.
I've heard it can be hard for people with ME to get benefits but have never tried myself. They seem to be giving ME sufferers incapacity benefit more these days without a fight.
Quote:
So it's another night in with X-factory/strictly poncing about/I'm a celebrity save my career then I guess!! LOL at this comment Fee!
I haven't got into strictly poncing or I'm not a celebrity this time round but am watching x-factory, although I don't even think that's as good as usual.
Anyway I've waffled on enough (you'll get used to my mega long posts lol).
Take care,
Lisa x
Hi Lisa
I love your long posts - they're great! It's so great to talk to someone so similar - it's really helped over the last couple of days! Uncanny about the 'cyst'/'tumour' - I expect they are the same thing but my dumb specialist just used the T word!!
I was diagnosed with ME in 1989 and I was married then - I didn't work full time until 2 years ago when I had been really doing well but last year so many things happened and I can't get back to full strength which is why my GP (who is trying hard to keep up!) re-referred me to someone locally who specialises. I was wondering what sort of help I might get these days - when I went to Bart's it was very early days in the understanding of ME. I went into denial after my husband left me in 95 and had a bit of a breakdown which just confused everything and I have been trying to get back on track ever since - I was doing SO well I took a full time job (albeit not a challenging one!) and within 6 months al those things I've mentioned happened - had the coil put in, found the 'tumour', son's fiance nearly died, elderly mother had serious fall and various smaller crises occurred.
I'm praying that nothing awful will happen in the next year or so and I might gradually get back to where I was but unfortunately I'm beginning to think I might have to go back to the drawing board - only this time the financial implications are horrendous. I only work 32 hours actually, not quite full time, and that's a struggle! I've had so much time off sick....
I'm going to go and meet my friends tonight for a soft drink - like you I can't tolerate a great deal of alcohol anyway but one or two just helps me feel like I fit in instead of being the neurotic 'visitor' - but better than giving up altogether and staying in...
I hope your infections are beginning to clear - my ear is doing very strange things - this is a new one for me!! but the sinuses are much better.
I'm not goingto mention the shingles again - its grossing me out! Never had it like this before - but it will pass! I just hope I'm ok for work on Monday.
Mind you at least being off work I've done my xmas cards - and even posted them :D
love,
fee
xx
Hi Fee,
I hope you had a nice evening out with your friends. Sometimes just getting out does us the world of good.
Yes your tumour probably is only a cyst I expect, although they tend not to want to remove cysts, they just leave them alone unless they become problematic. They shouldn't use the T word with us anxious ones unless they mean it! lol.
It sounds like you'd been doing well with the ME until things went wrong last year, things always seem to go wrong at once don't they.
I hope your new ME referral will help you. The standard help they offer in my area is CBT, pacing advice and graded exercise. These three things seem to be the standard treatments for ME at the moment. It's the nature of ME to have relapses but you can get back to where you were. I know what you mean about being off sick though. When I was struggling to work full time last year I had 6 months off within an 18 month period. My employers were awful to me about it. In my current job I've had the last 2 weeks off sick and am feeling guilty. They understand but I only work part time and feel like I'm off too much in the last few months.
I don't think my infections are clearing at all yet, but I guess antibiotics take time to work or they wouldn't tell you to finish the 7 day course.
Well done on the Xmas cards, I'm going to do mine next week if I'm still off sick.
Take care,
Lisa x
Hi Lisa - how are you today?
I'm feeling totally dreadful... I forced myself to go out and met my friends, had something to eat and (stupidly) a glass of red wine. I really enjoyed myself and came home at 11.30 like a normal person on a real high that I'd managed it. Felt a bit too high I suppose and couldn't wind down - finally got into bed about 2 but started to feel awful. I was shaking and had diarrohea and felt tingly and my mind was all over the place - a bit like if you were really really drunk.... Finally got to sleep about 4.30 and woke this morning at 9.30. I can't work out if I've just reacted to the antibiotics with alcohol or if it is all anxiety... my new lodger moved in (he is my friend's son) but I suppose that's pretty unsettling too. And the itchy legs - well I could have ripped the skin off. I feel like I have the hangover from hell today, trembly, upset tummy and chest twinges.
So now I'm wondering if it was worth it? I know I shouldn't have had the wine. But I so wanted to be sociable...
Have you ever looked at Coeliac's? I gave up gluten for 2 months and was doing really well. I have a referral to the gastro in february for a test so I had to start eating it again and I think that might be making me feel bad too - but how would someone with ME/aniety ever know what was going on?!
I hope you are starting to feel better. I don't know whether to take any more antibiotics now!! Oh what a blooming mess I am!
I hope I can get some support from the ME specialist!
Happy Sunday!!
fee
xx
Hi Fee,
Thanks for asking how I am, I'm struggling on. I had a bad night, the cough kept me awake for most of it. Coughing so hard for so long is exhausting! Not sure my antibiotics are working yet but I must be patient. I have a gurgley tummy too, probably from the tablets but I can live with it if that's all that happens.
Sorry you're feeling so dreadful today. I'm glad you had a good evening but the wine probably wasn't sensible. It is difficult to say what your symptoms in the night are/were, could be the alcohol with the tablets, I know you get drunk alot quicker if you do drink with them. Could be anxiety, or a virus though as the symptoms are similar. It could well just be the tablets with alcohol though if you were ok before that. Keep off any alcohol and see how you go.
I hope the new lodger work out well for you too, should be ok if you already know him and his Mum.
My gp did test me for Coeliac disease and I tested negative. However I saw a nutritionist that specialised in ME last year and she had me cut out gluten for three months and it did help alot. I cut out lots of other stuff too though. Recently I had some blood tests to see what food I was allergic or intolerant too. I am mildly intolerant to gluten so that probably explains why I feel better if I cut it out.
I hope the ME referral helps you too, any idea when your appointment will be?
Happy Sunday to you too.
Love Lisa x
Hi Lisa
sorry your chest is still bad - they do take a while to clear - you should notice difference by tomorrow - fingers crossed!
I'm feeling reasonable ok considering the lack of sleep and have even carried on the antibiotics. Took mum for pub lunch (not that i could eat much) and a couple of friends joined us which made me feel like my weekend was ok again.
I'm really interested in the Gluten/Coeliac's thing - you can't definitively know you are not suffering from CD without a biopsy - the blood tests are not very effective. I also was told i was sensistive to gluten by a nutritionist but CD is very common (1 in 80 people estimated) and it causes long term damage to the villi in the intestine which causes an auto-immune problem. I'm not one to encourage neurosis obviously but i do think its worth looking at it - crikey if you're like me just giving up gluten to feel better would be a doddle!!
Here's the link to their the GF boards where I have asked questions in the past and got loads of help! http://members2.boardhost.com/glutenfree/index.html?1129056567
Thanks for listening to me - isn't this site amazing!
Big hugs...
fee
xx
Glad things have picked up Fee.
Sounds like you and Lisa (and Mandie) will be able to help each out no end on the ME stuff and that's great.
Enjoy the rest of the weekend:)
love Piglet xx
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
Hi Fee,
I'm glad you feel better and managed to get out.
Good luck if you want to persue the Coeliac route. There's no way I'm putting myself through a biopsy (too scared of tests and hospitals and had enough tests and hospitals already!) on the off chance and my gp didn't think it necessary based on my symptoms which generally aren't stomach symptoms. It depends what symptoms you have though I guess. Most people with coeliac disease will have some specific symptoms such as diorrheoa and vomiting and weight loss, although I know some people get no stomach symptoms. Obviously it can cause some symptoms similar to ME too like fatigue. The only treatment for it is a gluten free diet, if that clears your symptoms up then it's likely you may have it. I would rather try a gluten free diet, which I have tried in the past anyway and it didn't clear up my ME. I did feel better in some ways but I cut out lots of other things too, things I now know I am intolerant too. I think sometimes we get so desperate we try any route and that's understandable. I just don't need more things to worry about right now! lol. I have worried whether I have this in the past but I'd rather cut out gluten and see if it helped than have a biopsy.
There are two blood tests for coeliac disease, one is much more sensitive than the other. It's often after a positive blood test that a biopsy is done or if the symptoms suggest it. Also if the blood test is negative/borderline, some doctors will get you to eat extra wheat/gluten for a few weeks and retest you. This should then show up as positive if you are sensitive to gluten/coeliac. I remember reading up on this and reading that untreated it can lead to cancer, anaemia etc - I'd better forget about this before I get scared again, it doesn't take much.
Anyway I'm happy to listen to you anytime :)
Take care,
Love Lisa x
Hi Lisa
I agree - I can't see how I would get through a biopsy! But I have kind of got in that loop now so will have to see what the specialist says....
I don't know if I'm going to be able to go to work or not tomorrow which is a worry - I'm persevering with the antibiotics cos I know you shouldn't stop them once you've started and my tummy has settled now - I have bought live yoghurt and yakult in the hope of protecting it! Over the last couple of days i have also been having those horrible (probably indigestion) twinges in my chest.
Wouldn't it be nice to take a holiday - just borrow someone else's body (or maybe mind?) and have a week off!
I can't even fantasise about a holiday because that involves flying or driving or something stressful at the moment - but it would be lovely to be picked up and put down somewhere warm and sunny - with a full medical team on hand!
Hope your day is going well...
love,
fee
xx
Hi Fee,
I know how you feel about work, don't think I'm going tomorrow either and I worry about it. I feel guilty, think they're going to get fed up with me and on top of that I don't get paid when off sick. I've been off nearly two weeks already now. I am meant to go to my ME course tomorrow morning too but doubt I'll make that either.
Glad the tummy has settled and that you're persevering with the antibiotics. I am taking yakult and yoghurt too. I just wish I could stop coughing, I'm gargling with salt water to help my throat! Yuk.
Yes it would be nice to borrow someone elses body and mind! lol. I have to remind myself that I do have good days and weeks though, I had a good few weeks until two weeks ago and it may be good again if this infection shifts. I can't really remember what it's like to wake up feeling 100% well though, even on good days/weeks.
I have the chest twinges too, my upper chest is really tight, muscles from coughing I think.
A holiday would be nice, in theory. I had my first ever bad panic attack on holiday and seem to associate holidays with anxiety now, which is silly as I used to love them. We don't tend to go abroad because of the dog, but I don't know if I'd get on a plane or not these days. We haven't had a proper holiday for over two years now, although had two long weekends away last year and two separate weeks in Kent with my Dad this year. Maybe like you say if we could take a medical team lol. Hand picked by us of course, I'd definitely take my cardiologist if I had to pick just one, otherwise there's the CBT lady, the breathing therapist, ME doctor, gp etc etc - a whole entourage of medics! lol.
God I talk some rubbish!
Take care,
Love Lisa x
How are you feeling today Fee? I hope you're a bit better.
I am much the same, and still off work sick.
Anyway take care,
Lisa x
Hi Lisa
Amazingly I have made it in to work - and even better have discovered I can access these boards (I can see me getting sacked for coming on them within a couple of days!).
I'm sorry you don't feel any better today, wrap up warm and cosy - it will probably take a few more days to get over the infections you have had.
I was very surprised this morning, my tummy has settled and I only feel a little dizzy and the pain is going out of the shingles. I seem to be getting an eye infection though! I decided to come to work because I get more anxious if I am off too long knowing the workload is building up so I told myself I could have the afternoon as leave if I needed to, but now I'm here I think I might make it through. It's one of those situations where anxiety and ME are at loggerheads - mentally its better to work, physically I should probably be resting as much as possible.
I don't know how I would have got through last week or the weekend without these boards - especially your posts Lyn - but thanks to piglet too!! (and others).
loads of love,
fee
xx
Hi Fee,
Glad you feel better today and have made it to work.
I so know what you mean about it being mentally better to work, but physically better to rest. Mind you too much rest isn't good for the ME either. That's why I find part time work is perfect really.
Anyway have a good day at work, be careful not to overdo things though. Shingles is tiring for anyone let alone someone with ME on top.
Lisa x
Hi Lisa....
I just read your post from this morning on the thread that reached 50 pages (where will it go now?!).
I'm so sorry to hear you're having such a tough day - and as a dog lover (I had a beardie who is 16 now and has to live with my ex who works from homes and has a garden... who I love and miss every minute of every day) and can only imagine how distressed you must be that s/he's ill as well. The hubby isn't being much help either is he - typical!
Please don't feel pressured to go to work or guilty for being off, especially as you don't get paid for sick time. You really have had a stinking chest infection which will take some considerable time to recover from and with ME the last thing you want is to push too hard. All the symptoms you describe sound exactly like I had last time I had a chest infection and it IS dreadful for someone with anxiety - but isn't uncommon! Are you doing steam and decongestants - they seem to do more good than anything else.
Make the hubby take the dog or if not ask someone else for help if you can, don't be embarassed. You're proper ill!! You have permission to feel totally poo, have a good weep and feel totally sorry for yourself if you want! Then curl up and watch tv or read a good book if you can.
I'm still at work (miracle) but I have a headache and repeated sharp chest pains which I know are nothing but make me jumpy every time. It does help to be around people who don't realise what a mess I am hiding behind my monitor looking at these boards!
Take care hon - you're coping really well...
xxx
fee
xx
Hi Fee,
Glad you're coping at work ok.
I'm scared now as you said my symptoms sound like a chest infection (doesn't take much to scare me). I don't actually have a chest infection according to the doctor I saw, now scared I do. He said it was my upper airways and mostly my throat that were infected not my chest. In fact he said my lungs were really clear even though I have asthma.
The breathing problem is the same as what I've had before I think anyway (I had convinced myself of that but am now doubting it Arghh).
It feels the same anyway. I've had breathing problems on and off for ages.
I am feeling better than I was this morning anyway, not coughing as much and my peak flow is improving which it wouldn't do if I had a chest infection. I am seeing my own gp tomorrow so now I'll have her listening to my chest AGAIN! lol.
The dog seems a bit better thanks. Luckily the vets will come to me if necessary and they told me not to worry unless he's still ill tomorrow. He does seem a little happier than he was earlier. Hubby would take him tonight if really necessary I expect, there's no one else that could anyway.
It must be hard for you to live apart from your dog, I couldn't be without mine and I've only had this one 18 months. I had the last one for 13 years and still miss him terribly.
I hope your headache goes away soon.
Love Lisa x
OH NO - I didn't mean to scare you - i just meant that infections make you feel like that - not that it sounded like a chest infection!
I'm glad you and the 4-legged one are feeling a bit better now - how many antibiotics have you had?! I'm supposed to take 3 a day but I've only managed 2 a day so far but am carrying on despite being convinced that I never had an infection in the first place now! But I know you shouldn't stop once you start:( And its excellent about your peak flow!
I must try and do some work now:(
I'm quite lucky most of the time here I'm not under too much pressure but I do have work to do.Which is a bit of a nerve, it interferes with my chatting ;);)
Take care,
love,
fee
xx
Fee,
It's ok no problem mate. I get really worried where my chest/lungs are concerned! It's a long story but I have asthma and also had a suspected blood clot a while back and now I freak if I can't breathe. I actually have a long standing hyperventilation problem that I'm having breathing therapy for but my breathing has been ok for weeks now. Of course when it isn't I freak. In fact the breathless feeling comes from my diaphram area today, I think alot of the time it's trapped air.
It was because you said I have had a stinking chest infection and the fact that you said the last time you had a chest infection the symptoms were the same. I just freaked. In reality even if I did have a chest infection I am on the right treatment. The joys of health anxiety! lol.
I have now had 9 antibiotics (12 to go!). Not that I'm counting lol. I have been having the required three per day, well except for Friday as I only started them Friday evening. I wonder if I actually had an infection too sometimes. The green stuff I was coughing up from my sinuses has gone but maybe it would have gone anyway if I'd have waited a few more days. I'll never know but I'm going to finish the tablets anyway.
Anyway I'll let you work now, off to watch some daytime TV (so bored of that now though!). I just want to go out somewhere but don't want to if I may still have an infection.
Take care,
Lisa x x
P.S Do you mind if I ask what you do for a job, feel free to ignore me if that's too nosy!
Hi Lisa
I did didn't I - I should probably be more careful posting when I'm at work - I'm not concentrating on what I'm saying properly - it's just such a comfort knowing I can!
I work for the Council in the Legal Dept which I took on because I was a temp here for 4 years, started at 24 hours and worked up to 30 and got talked into applying for a permanent job 2 years ago.... it's been a struggle ever since, especially with all that happened last year. I started off at 34 hours (37 is full time here) and reduced to 32 in October. I really think if I could manage financially on 28 hours I would be ok - there would be enough flexibility to manage. I work flexi hours - 7 hours Mon/Tues and 6 hours the rest of the week. Most of the time that's fine but the minute I get a cold or anything, or if the workload gets too heavy I start to go under.. I have had about 6 weeks off this year. Last year when my daughter in law was so ill and I spent loads of time in London helping my son I had 6 weeks off at once. They've been very good but there is a problem which has to get resolved somehow - 32 hours is too much. That's why I tried for DLA but of course was refused (I am appealing).
I'm leaving in a minute thankfully as I am very very dizzy at the moment...
Speak soon,
love,
fee
xx
Hi Fee,
Did you do any work today then. hee Hee Lol. Only joking.
Thanks for explaining about your job. it does sound a bit like a juggling act with your hours. It's good you have flexi time though. Is there any way you could manage on 28 hours per week, as it's only four hours less? It all adds up though over a month financially though doesn't it.
Would your employer let you work less hours if you could afford to?
Good luck with the DLA appeal.
I find that working 23 hours a week usually works ok. I do 8.30 - 10.30 am & 1pm - 5pm on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays. it's 6 hours a day but split into two shifts to cover surgery times and to give me a long rest in between. On Thursday and Friday I only work 8.30 - 11am. That's why I feel bad when I can't even manage this. I lost my last job through having ME and get scared it will happen again. This employer approached me to offer me a job knowing I have ME though. Like you I am ok until I overdo things or get a cold. I used to be able to keep working with a cold and shake it off in a few days. Those were the days... I have probably had about 5 or 6 weeks off in total this year too but it's better than when I was working full time. I was regularly off for 4 or 6 weeks then. Even now my gp thinks I should reduce my hours slightly. Last year I only worked 15 hours per week max and did manage better but I hate so much time on my hands, not good for the old anxiety. If I was well enough to use that spare time it would be great. I used to have such a full busy life that there wasn't time for worrying.
See I've rambled away again!
I hope you're home and feeling less dizzy by the time you read this.
I am very bored today, hence being on here more than usual. Daytime tv is boring and I'm fed up with reading now too. I just want to get out the house, get back to work and some sort of normality.
Take care,
Love Lisa x
Hi Lisa
Well we can't win can we! I'm exhausted and not so dizzy but very headachey so gonna have a siesta now....
I do know how utterly mind-numbing day time tv can be - years ago when I first got ill I was only working 12 hours (as much as i could manage but i was married so financially it was ok) and i knew all the programmes and hated it! You'll be back to work soon I'm sure and fantasising about being at home again!! Although working at a vet's sounds brilliant - my vet offered me a job too just after my husband left and I really wanted to do it but he got me to assist with amputating a hamster's leg and I started sobbing and thought if it had been a dog I would have been utterly useless!
No financially I can't do any less at all - I can barely manage on this because I couldn't cope without a car - another vicious cycle (don't you hate those healthy cyclists ;))
I'm glad I went in - I have asked to leave at 3 again tomorrow - I start at 8 so it's nearly my full hours.
Believe it or not I did quite a bit of work - when I DO work I'm fast - I'm doing planning agreements so right up until about 1pm I was fine but then my brain just went and I couldn't think any more - hence the dizziness and headache I guess...
I'll have a nap - a habit I took on in the early ME days and now cannot do without and hopefully take another antibiotic (or even 2!) and pray the wind's behind me and I can get it together again tomorrow!
speak soon,
love,
fee
xx
Hi fee,
Glad you're doing ok still. Hope the siesta helps. I used to have a nap in the afternoon in the early days. I find I sleep better at night if I don't now although it's not often I need to. Sometimes I do just doze off if I'm watching tv, which is fine.
Good that you're taking it easy and able to leave work early etc.
I really enjoy working at the vets. I do reception/pharmacy and I've trained as a Pet Nutrition Councellor also. It's very different to my last job/s as a scientist. Mentally it's not the challenge I used to enjoy but it's good in other ways. I don't get involved in operations although I'm often the first port of call when emergencies come rushing in through the door. I didn't think I'd deal with it but I do. Of course some things are very sad and upsetting but it's great to see animals that have come in so ill leaving looking so well. You do get attached to the animals though at times. Also as I understand anxiety I am the only one who seems to cope best with upset cleints, and I quite enjoy helping people.
I spent some time with a lady who was upset when her hamster was put to sleep. All the nurses were taking the mickey out of me saying it's only a hamster. But to this lady that lived on her own, this was not just a hamster to her, it was everything.
Anyway off to have a rest myself now.
Love Lisa x
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