Frustration

[Bill]

Probably my closest "friend" and yet I wish it wasn't because it makes me feel so low at times but I have no idea how to tell it to leave me alone except to keep going and keep trying to defeat it....and yet it seems to enjoy it!

Sometimes I feel i must have done something really bad in a previous life because it often feels no matter what I try, I'm not allowed to find enjoyment in life, and yet people say I need to think of me. Well, that's because when I try, my "friend frustration" won't let me!:shrug:

[peach]

hi bill,

just know you are going through an extra tough time at this moment in your life... it will pass..

i think thinking too much can be a big problem..so maybe dont 'think' about yourself, but do things for yourself that you may like...there is always something we enjoy doing...
:hugs:

[Going home]

Hello Bill

I know you don't know me, I only joined just before christmas, but want to say i'm sorry you're feeling so low. I know you've lost all the special people in your life and you recently lost your best pal...so very sorry about that. To be honest, after what youve been through, frustration seems such a small word. I think you have alot of courage, and its obvious that alot of members have great respect for you. So just wanted to say hello to you Bill.

Best wishes
GH xx

[Vanilla Sky]

This i can relate to Bill, It does go on and on, it's so tough and just not that easy to get it to just go away grrrr . And what's more annoying is the people around you who tell you to " get a grip " . If only ha ha . You are not alone in this fight against the demon Bill , hope 2010 will be good for you , I will be having a good go at trying to get rid of this evil anxiety this year . Do think of yourself Bill , that's very important, Hugs to you :hugs: Love Paige x

[Bill]

I'm not sure why it happens but this is how it often seems to surface. I may wake up one day and find that things just won't go right or maybe I can't find the things I need to feel happy or maybe my hurting just surfaces for whatever reason etc etc. I then start feeling irritated which then leads to a feeling of frustration. What often happens next is my wife will then niggle me further until I feel like blowing up or hitting a wall down. This then leads to me losing my temper because I then just want to be left alone which then leads me to feeling guilty for taking my frustrations out on her when she can't understand why I'm feeling so frustrated. I end up feeling so bad and so frutrated that I feel like is it worth even trying to find any enjoyments for myself when I'm always hitting barriers because of the cards I'm always dealt which then makes me feel life and findng enjoyment just isn't worth the effort!

Next day I seem to be able to put the feelings back in my bottle and are able to forget them until the next time life decides to niggle me!

Life is like a watching a football match. You watch in the hope of seeing your team score a goal and win but you always end up conceding a goal in injury time through a "lucky" deflection just to rub it in that you can never win or be allowed any enjoyment!

Precious Peach:hugs:

i think thinking too much can be a big problem..so maybe dont 'think' about yourself, but do things for yourself that you may like...there is always something we enjoy doing...

I try hard not to think too much about anything that upsets or frustrates me but sometimes it feels like needles constantly pricking my insides which then make feel too irritated. Yes, there is always something we enjoy but sometimes the things we know we would enjoy aren't always available.

Sweet "Going" Home:hugs:

Lovely to "meet" you! "Going home" is often something I'd rather not do but have no choice which is why I try to spend alot of time at my mothers. She's my respite. Without her I'd have nowhere to find any fun or relaxation. Frustration is a small word but is a Big part of me. "He" never leaves me alone every day because "he" always attempts to block my every move to find any real enjoyment in life!

Pretty Paige:hugs:(An angel I'll never forget for posting something on here when I needed it most!)

I'm never allowed to think of myself dear Paige because then frustration always surfaces.

Oh well, tomorrow's another day. Maybe lady fate will smile on me for once...but I won't bank on it! Must have Really upset "her" in my previous life I reckon!:shrug:

[Corinne]

Bill, I hope Lady Fate does more than smile on you. I hope she gives you a big hug.

Frustration is so difficult because it always beging with "why?" It is difficult to see others enjoying life when we seem to lack the directions on how to get there ourselves. I tried programming it into my GPS, but it didn't work.:shrug: (You're supposed to laugh here!)

I have hope that someday all of this will be in the past. I'll especially hope that for you tonight.

[Bill]

Sweet Caring Corinne:hugs:

If lady fate was more like you I might stand a chance but knowing "her" she wouldn't give me a hug but instead a kick up the....!:buttkick:

To quote you from one of your threads....

Every night I am full of hope for the next day. But when I wake up with my upper body vibrating like a tuning fork, I just lay there and cry.

I know how you feel but for different reasons. I may have a smile but inside the feelings always seem to be there, even if I try not to think about the reasons. Sometimes it feels there will never be an end to being whipped by lady fate:whiplash:......well, at least that'd break the tedium and monotony of my life!:blush::shrug: Well, it's good to find something to laugh about!:)

[KK77]

I see you've got Miss Whiplash out again Bill!

Frustration

I think frustration is the seeds of anger. Have you ever watched how when we suppress our frustration it soon builds up into anger? I always vent my frustration because I know what will happen. Then we also suppress our anger and that's really bad news. I think suppressed anger sows the seeds of physical and mental illness. Perhaps at the heart of our depression lie anger issues which haven't been dealt with. Just swept under the carpet - out of sight, out of mind jobby. We go over and over the same things in our heads. The what ifs and maybes. Things that we said and did that we should or shouldn't have said and done. And in all this there's frustration and anger and resentment. The frustration and anger at ourselves too - manifested as self-hate. This frustration is good business for our anxiety and depression.

I don't think it's important where you start when you go into a topic like this, as long as you cover it all, and end up where you started off: then you realise that the answer always lies in the question you ask. What was the question?

Frustration: the son of anger.

[suzy-sue]

Melancholia that is so true ,in my case anyway ..If I dont have a venting session to release the tension I just slip slowly back into the bottomless pit .Bill you have such a difficult life and its constant 24hrs 7 days a week .Perhaps if you had someone you could speak to every day on the phone you would be able to release some of that pent up emotion ..You are such a nice man im sure plenty of people on here would be able to help with that .Me included .Let me know what you think so I can get the ball rolling ..Take care Luv Sue x:hugs:

[Bill]

Melancholia.

I know people praise me, (you included) but boy, you wrote that So well! Gave me a dose of my own medicine!:winks: So True and So right! Can I come to you for therapy?:winks: I mean it because I can see you really understand frustration! Thank you!

I think that son of anger is always within me. "He" leaves me alone for a while but it never takes much for "him" to come back at me. For so many years now I've often felt like kicking a brick wall down and as you rightly say, it was "him" who made me selfh because I hated myself so much!

I did try counselling but every time I came home it just started all over again. Before I got married I never used to swear but these days I use every swear word you can think of!:blush:...not in front of my mother of course!

I think "he's" always there because of my cage. Sometimes I can forget my cage but other days I get reminded of what I can't have in the outside world and that's when hurt and the son of anger return. Got a new word for "him" now!:yesyes: You're right, "his" father always follows soon after....and then comes the wife and all the cousins to rub it in!

Oh, by the way, I love Miss Whiplash and the kick up the...!:) Wonder what they say about how my mind works!:blush: Maybe son of anger creates them!:)

I had to help out with the main shopping today and afterwards I took "them" for a cuppa. I was sitting there between "them"- my OH on one side and her helper the other side but I couldn't seem to take my eyes off the attractive 40ish woman who served us who I couldn't talk to. What was that question about the son of anger?:shrug:

Sweet Sue:hugs:

I love talking and you'd probably be surprised to hear that I don't often to talk to anyone- not in person, on the phone or even on here. I think people are too afraid of me and angels have to keep their distance from hell because they know son of anger and all his relatives reside within me!:winks::hugs:

[KK77]

Dear Bill and Son of Anger

I never thought about the family getting involved too. Perhaps resentment is the wife of anger or the wife of the son of anger - I know she's a female and closely related though......

Yes, and then the rest of the clan: jealousy and hate. Actually, I've worked it out: hate is the wife of anger and resentment the wife of the son of anger - I have it all worked out now..... But basically once the new family move in they seem to stay forever. They take over the house. The son of anger starts off all the swearing and then if left to run riot the father will usually bring out violence. Perhaps not the physical type, but physical violence is just the symptom of psychological violence. I hope you're following.......

It seems apparent that the Family have run riot in all our homes. Home in the sense of both the material and spiritual.

So my next question is how can love exist in the home where the family have taken over?

Freedom and love must go together. Unless love can exist chained up by fear (which is probably the main culprit and the grandfather of the son of anger)?

I think love has been shut of the house and left out in the cold..............


*I charge £50 per hr but will do you a special rate! LOL!

[bottleblond]

Bill

Ive not been around for a few days so have just noticed your post.
I know things are so very difficult for you so i'm sending a big hug your way and i really do hope that things start to look up for you soon.

http://www.zulva.com/images/hug/images/hug-comment-myspace.gif


Love Lisa
xxx

[johnno]

your 'friend frustration' comes from the fact that you not accepting the way things are , when we dont want something and we try our best not to feel like that it causes tension , so i think you got to accept the way things are at the moment and realise its not just goin to go away in a day or so but accepting it will make it so much easier .

[johnno]

have you noticed people you are so much better at dealing with things when you accept them ? , because when you accept something you see it as it is, when u dont want something you cause alot of inner negativity and like an inner battle . its like trying to stop a someone from doin something , no matter what you do you cant make them and the more you cant make them and try to the more frustrated you get . but if you just accept what they are doing ??? theres no room for frustration , you just accepting things as they are and not fighting against it.

[Bill]

Melancholia,

:DYou could write a soap with all that family involved! Oh, come to think of it, one already exists! - Eastenders!:D

You're quite right as usual! No wonder you're so expensive!:winks: I think love is not only out in the cold but has become frozen in this weather! Can't see that member of its family anywhere except when I visit my mother! It's found a nice warm comforting place to reside there. It abandoned me and moved out of my life years ago...never to be seen or heard of again! Well, at least you make me smile and laugh in the face of lady fate!:D Thank you!:)

Lisa:hugs:

I KNOW that's not a picture of you because you're Far prettier than that so I can only guess it's a picture of son of anger grabbing hold of the things we live for!:D Seriously, thank you sweetie!:bighug1: Warms my soul in this frozen wasteland....no, I'm not talking about the weather!:winks::D


Johnno,

You're right of course that life is much easier when we accept. It's just difficult to accept living in a cage and never being free but you Are right, so I try to ignore the things that I can't have that make me frustrated and try to focus on the things I can and do have. I just wish I could go through life without son of anger serving me with reminders! He just loves putting things in front of me or feelings within me in the hope of getting at me!:winks: Maybe I should take up golf or go into politics!...if you get my snowdrift!:winks: