Hi My boyfriend suffers anxiety & I'm desperate to help him i don't know wot to do :(

[girlconfused]

Please help! I have been going out with my boyfriend for 7 months and he is suffering from anxiety. He finds social occasions with my friends and family difficult, often has a nervous stomach, can be irritable and a bit insecure. He has been to his GP and he is currently on a waiting list to be assessed. Wot can I do to help him?:weep: I just want to take his pain away.

[diane07]

Hi girlconfused

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[onceagain]

hi Girl confused

it is lovely to see that you are concerned enough about your partner and your relationship to ask for advice.

Knowing what I put my partner through I don't think there is a truly clear cut answer as each occasion must be treated on its own merits..

All I know is that I feel a thousand times worse if someone isn't patient with me or I can sense their irritability. Your partner will be hurting enough when he has those moments and will get grumpy because it his way of dealing with the hurt and pressures himself.

The only thing I can say to you is to think of the most terrifying moment for you or what could be.... exaggerate that by 10 and then take everyone elses sight of your fears away and you might understand what it feels like... how would you feel if you were worried, scared or terrified of something and people assume it is ridiculous or that it should be snapped out of ... by the way I am not saying that is what you do feel..I like many had no idea of what the illness was like until I found myself with it...It is the hardest thing to explain, the fear is very very real to the sufferer even if illogical and it takes a lot of zap from that person riding through it and recovering from it. Be kind, patient and loving to both your partner and YOU... is my advice... let it become a part but not all of you...god bless you and the very best of luck... with a partner like you fingers crossed you will both find the strength to make the relationship work (( hugs ))

[girlconfused]

Thank you so much for your advice and kind words, that has helped a lot already. I have never dealt with anxiety before and I am finding it hard but from what you have said I understand it a bit better now although I know there is still a lot I don't know. I have been researching the internet for weeks and have recently suggested CBT to my boyfriend. All I want to do is help him because he is a lovely person and he deserves to be happy. Thanks again :)

[andrea thompson]

hiya girl confused

its lovely that you want to help your partner and dont just dismiss his anxiety... i suffer from anxiety and depression and the thing i need most is reassurance.. someone telling me that everything will be fine, these feelings will pass, the symptoms are just exagerated feelings of anxiety. at one point i had a mental health nurse visiting me at home and she brought me loads of literature about panic and anxiety. diagrams of how it affects your whole body.. lots of breathing exercises listed on it.. lots of helpful phrases to repeat to yourself to reassure yourself that this is anxiety... maybe you could get something like that off the dr or the internet to help you to reassure your boyfriend. that would help me i know it would. i encourage my boyfriend to read books about stress and anxiety so that he understands a little better.

when i am really panicking the best thing for me to do is try to distarct myself... i try to do something really easy and boring like ironing or go for a walk, tidy my little boys room... it works for me... worth a try..

take care and i hope your boyfriend feels better soon.

andrea x x

[unicorn 0578]

Hiya

I could really relate to your post as I am kind of in a similar situation. My boyfriend has been diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder about 6 months ago and is currently taking Prozac but just lately his symptoms have got worse (there is alot of additional life stress at the moment).

I feel so helpless when I see him struggling and I don't know what to do for the best. This website seems really friendly and helpful though which is a big help!

It is a shame that your BF has to wait to be assessed, that must be frustrating. Seeking help is the first step and isn't always easy to do. I really hope your boyfriend feels better soon and that the appt comes through quickly.

Take care and Best Wishes

Sarah x

[Veronica H]

:welcome:to NMP.There is a brilliant book by Dr Claire Weekes;SELF HELP FOR YOUR NERVES ISBN 0-7225-3155-9.This is available from the NMP shop. Dr Weekes was a physician and scientist. She was a fellow sufferer (nominated for the nobel prize for medicine) and really understood this illness. She took the mystery out of it, and devised a simple programme for recovery. I can't recommend this enough. I think you would both feel reassured by this book.This will get better. He is lucky to have such a supportive partner.

Here is a link to her site;

http://www.drclaireweekes.co.uk/


Veronicax