superjonboy
05-01-10, 22:16
I wrote this down earlier as I've not had a good day at all. Does this all sound like HA or something worse.
I feel really weird.I find it hard to do anything.
I'm really scared I have schizophrenia or am developing it. IF it's not that then I must have a brain tumor. There must be something other than anxiety thats causing this.
I feel like im losing my mind. I feel so out of it all the time. My surroundings feel so ufamiliar. Surely i'm getting closer to psychosis.
My head is killing me now. This only reinforces the idea that I have a brain tumor. I have such a headache and I have a pulsing on the top of my head which feels like someone is ressing on it.
Even when I move my hand aross my face it feels weird. The jeans on my leg feel weird.Maybe I've never recovered from the LSD i took in 1999. It's done something to me that can never be reversed.
Deep down I know I have anxietyand I know I have an excessive wory about my health, but why? Is there another illness going on thats causing me to be like this. Psychotic depression has hypochndria as one of its symptoms. Maybe the little patterns I see in my vision are hallucinations and I've had psychosis for years and its just been masked by the citalopram.
Even this seems weird. The way the pen leaves it's ink on the page. I find myslf questioning all of this.
The snow today. Is it real or just a figment of my imagination? What is real and what isn't and how would I know? I have to assume at the minute that everything is real even though it sees so unfamiliar.
I just want to go back and get rid of the drugs i did when I was younger. It was so stupid. I just want to feel normal again. I don't want to be in pain ad have all these weird feelings.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.
John.
I feel really weird.I find it hard to do anything.
I'm really scared I have schizophrenia or am developing it. IF it's not that then I must have a brain tumor. There must be something other than anxiety thats causing this.
I feel like im losing my mind. I feel so out of it all the time. My surroundings feel so ufamiliar. Surely i'm getting closer to psychosis.
My head is killing me now. This only reinforces the idea that I have a brain tumor. I have such a headache and I have a pulsing on the top of my head which feels like someone is ressing on it.
Even when I move my hand aross my face it feels weird. The jeans on my leg feel weird.Maybe I've never recovered from the LSD i took in 1999. It's done something to me that can never be reversed.
Deep down I know I have anxietyand I know I have an excessive wory about my health, but why? Is there another illness going on thats causing me to be like this. Psychotic depression has hypochndria as one of its symptoms. Maybe the little patterns I see in my vision are hallucinations and I've had psychosis for years and its just been masked by the citalopram.
Even this seems weird. The way the pen leaves it's ink on the page. I find myslf questioning all of this.
The snow today. Is it real or just a figment of my imagination? What is real and what isn't and how would I know? I have to assume at the minute that everything is real even though it sees so unfamiliar.
I just want to go back and get rid of the drugs i did when I was younger. It was so stupid. I just want to feel normal again. I don't want to be in pain ad have all these weird feelings.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.
John.