View Full Version : Can we cure our illness?
What I want to say refers to Anxiety (Only).
Well, firstly, we don't suffer from an illness and therefore secondly, we shouldn't go in search of a magic cure because the cure is already within us. It just needs knowledge, time and willpower to find it.
Why isn't anxiety an illness when we feel So ill? Ok, how would you feel if you opened your front door and there was a lion sitting there looking at you? How would you feel if you were trapped in a cage and couldn't find a way out?....and finally, what does the word anxiety actually mean that is the cause to all our feelings of being so ill?
Worry!
Therefore, is worry an illness or do we just "feel ill" because we won't allow ourselves to stop worrying?
What happens when you see a lion? Fear and panic caused by Worry. How would you feel trapped in a cage? Fear and panic caused by Worry.
Ok, so we don't have any lions to worry about and nor do we live in cages.........or do we???
Modern day lions take many forms- Having to work in a stressful environment. Having to cope with the school run. Having to cope with "lions" on the News or in the paper that fill us with worries. Having to go shopping in crowded places.
So where is our cage? Our cage is created by all the above and more which we feel we can't escape from.
Every day we're confronted by lions which we feel we can't run away from so when we feel trapped, we start to panic which then causes our attacks because we Worry so much about feeling so illl caused by our lions and cages.
So, where is the illness? We're worriers and we're sensitive but it doesn't mean our lions and cages have to rule our lives.
How will ad's make our lions go away or open the door to our cages? They only make us feel happier sitting with our lion in our cages.
So what is the "cure"?
Tackle the fears that cause your worries. Change your lifestyle or seek more support to give your nervous system time to re-charge. Don't allow your lions to bully you. Don't sit in your cage because you're too afraid to open the door. Learn not to be afraid of your lion by telling it to get lost no matter how afraid you feel.
I think sometimes we actually like to think we're ill because either we don't realise why we feel ill or we are deceived by anxiety into thinking we are ill so we go in search of a magic cure that doesn't exist because the causes and the cure are sitting right in front of you in the things you're having to deal with and the worries they create.
Remember, we're Not ill. We just love to find things to Worry about and too much stress makes us Worry more! Ease the stress by either finding ways to reduce it or by finding more time to chill out to enjoy yourself which then eases your worries and you feel much better because you feel more Confident because you stop doubting yourself and worrying so much...and that's the Real cure. You'll be amazed how well you'll feel when you tell the lion to get lost and you open your door to your cage.
Sometimes though I know we can't free ourselves completely but we can make our cages more easy to bear if we persevere and learn not to be afraid of our lions.:winks::hugs:
bellabessnjet
06-01-10, 19:18
Hi Bill,
Gret post again, if only it was that easy!! My problem is that the lion/s have been here for years breeding, and only recently they've all appeared at once, totally surrounding everything I think or do. It seems so easy, give yourself time, chill out, do a hobby read a book etc, but as you know, a lot of us have different additional complications in our lives. For me admitting I was ill, taking meds and getting help has started (hopefully) me on the way to recovery. If an alchoholic is ill then so aren't we? I'm not saying we cant live 'normalish' lives but I think severe anxiety can be a disabilitating thing. Do you agree? Nice to see you again on here. All the best
Angela
If an alcoholic is ill, would a smoker also be ill?:winks:...or do they both just suffer from an addiction? I guess you could say we are addicted to Worry and that's why we won't let ourselves stop feeling so ill.
Can your lions harm you? Can all dogs harm us? Can we learn not to be afraid? Can we learn how not to worry? Can we learn how not to drink or smoke?
What is severe anxiety? Excessive Worry!
We can get better once we learn not to be afraid, find courage and willpower.:hugs:
bellabessnjet
06-01-10, 22:12
Definitely agree with you Bill. I do think worry is an addiction (especially mine) or a learnt behaviour, hence why I'm having CBT, Never really thought about it like that, always said if I have nothing to worry about then I'll worry about having nothing to worry about! its probably just the same as a smoker or alcoholic, I'll just have another one then I'll stop! trouble is though it feels like they get more help, alcholoics get incapacity benefit plus an extra allowance, why they/most just use it to feed there addiction. Smokers get priced out of the market and preached too, drug addicts get treatment and support,yet anxiety/depression although there is help, seems to be still a taboo subject that there is not enough help/advice/support for. Things do appear to be movin g in the right direction though (fingers crossed). I got taught about the dangers of alcohol, smoking and drugs at school, no one taught me about depression, anxiety and stress though. Maybe relaxation should be taught as well as basic thought mechanisms.
Exellent Post Bill.
I feel the very simplistic answer is NO! I feel once the worry Gene has been activated it is time to learn skills to take it through life with you. I feel controlling and learning to live with the anxiety will ease it but it will always be there.
Take Care Bill
Mee
great post Bill, love the way you describe anxiety, good to see you back and writing again. xx
Anxious_gal
07-01-10, 01:58
we aren't physically ill but our bodies do over react to stimulus , I remember reading a study about how we (our bodies and brains) are much more sensitive to certain lights etc....
are we born sensitive? or is it just something we learned? nature versus nurture, so maybe it's a bit of both!
god knows we do feel physically ill at times!
I have accepted I will always be sensitive, I will always have anxiety but I hope everyday I learn to cope better and learn how to deal with my fear.
fear is ok, it wouldn't harm you but I some how need to learn to that's it's ok, it's safe to do things that cause me fear. and hopefully the more I face my fears I will become less fearful.
I think everything is harder for us compared to people who don't suffer from anxiety, but thats ok, it should not be used as a reason to feel sorry for ourselves.
there are lots of people out there with disabilities and they manage to be happy, be the best they can be and strive everyday to live a normal life like everyone else.
some times we need a good kick up the back side! it's hard for us to push ourselves. like who wants to do sometimes they are afraid of!
but we will never be fee unless we face our fears.
My own feeling is that we are born sensitive and that it's just part of our personality. I wouldn't be surprised if one day they identify a gene that causes the sensitive trait.
However, there is nothing wrong in being sensitive. It makes us who we are. Without sensitivity, we would not have compassion or empathy. Nor though would we worry but worry is also part of caring because we worry about everything and everyone who is dear to us. Perhaps also we worry about others because of our own insecurity which creates our lack of confidence in our own company.
I also feel that if we lived in a less stressful lifestyle, we would still worry about things but these worries wouldn't create as much anxiety as they do within us every day because like you say, once our anxiety switch is stimulated to excess, it's difficult to switch it back off.
All anxiety is created by fear. Some fears we will overcome. Others we just have to learn to accept and work around them so that they don't prevent us having enjoyment in our lives.
Facing fears has to be done in the Right way though. I'm not so sure about the kick up the backside approach because I hink some people will panic even more and dig their heels in. I prefer a more reassuring approach so that a person learns how to feel more secure in themselves.
Confidence is a key element but it's very fragile. If we attempt or are pushed into attempting more than we're ready for or attempt facing a fear in the wrong way, it can destroy our confidence. Confidence has to be built up gradually. One step at a time. We also have to remind ourselves that if we fail one day, it's just a bad day and learn from it so that it doesn't hold us back.
When I watch sport such as tennis, I often wonder how it is that a tennis player can hit a ball within one inch of a line but on another day will be one inch the wrong side. Is it just practise and accuracy or is there more to it? My own feeling is that often if I believe in myself, things come good but if I start doubting my ability then I doom myself to failure. Self belief is all part of confidence. Without those two things, anxiety controls us because we constantly doubt ourselves.
I have no doubts whatsoever that we can learn to control anxiety once we learn the correct methods and learn the right approach to tackling our fears. I know because of the things I've achieved but also through others I've known who have also learnt how to find enjoyment in life so there is Always hope.
One thing I would say though is I would never want an anxiety sufferer to change who they are. We complain about how anxiety destroys our lives but without our sensitive nature people wouldn't have the many fine qualities others lack. I know it's not easy but it's definitely not impossible to learn how to cope with anxiety whilst keeping the lovely qualities sufferers have so never try to change Who you are.:hugs:
Hello Bill,great posts,I know we can cure or at the very least control it,with cognitive therapy and lots of councilling we all can live healthy productive lives.But for some out there the path to wellness is not the same,due to economics or their enviroment find it difficult to move forward and find that inner peace.I have all the tools provided to me,but still have days where I feel rotten.My greatest fear is fear itself,I am lucky though with agood support system I am Blessed.:)
eeyorelover
07-01-10, 06:04
Great posts everyone!
I have started to think of my thought processes as a garden. I've got a bunch of lovely thoughts ready to bloom and then these seeds of doubt sprout up like nasty little weeds and choke out the lovely thoughts!
So I have started to learn to catch these thoughts and cut them off before they start to grow out of control.
Like tending a garden.
It takes work and I have to stay on top of it but so far it's working rather well :)
xxx
Sandy
A degree of anxiety is normal and natural in certain situations.Its when it becomes overwhelming enough to affect our everyday lives and leads to depressive episodes that become disabling then it has got out of control.I am a very sensitive person and i believe that to a certain extent our genes predetermine the way we are and the way we react/respond.I also believe though that a lot of anxiety can be learned behaviour and in my case i can understand now why i have developed such problems.As children in particular we are like sponges and subconciously soak up all sorts of information negative or positive and our parents are usually our biggest influence.I did not recognize or realise until i was in my forties that my fathers aggression and moods whilst i was growing up were because he suffered with chronic anxiety.Anxiety/depression were even more of a taboo subject in his day and i think that to admit it to it was seen as a sign of weakness and it just was not talked about about.When i look back at episodes of my life when i was growing up i can see how my father would turn a drama into a crisis and had a very fatalistic attitude to life and it was all due to his anxiety and inability to cope or to be rational. I was always afraid to approach him as everything in his eyes was a problem that would be blown out of all proportion. I have had cbt and counselling and i can see patterns in myself that have emerged from my fathers influence. It would be wonderful to be able to say that therapy has cured me and that by recognizing where a lot of my anxiety has evolved from i am now finding life a lot easier but unfortunately its never quite as easy as that..My father is now in his late seventies and has not changed and you can bet that if we get a lot of rain his fourth floor flat could flood ( yes he is that bad still) It makes me feel sad that he has always been that way and i often wonder how i would have been had i had a different parent..
Sorry Bill but i i think you are over simplifying things a little and are wrong.
Anxiety is an illness.
Although we may not have the illnesses that we often convince ourselves we have we definitely an illness.
I get physical symptoms without a lion at my door. My physical symptoms are the trigger for my mental anxiety.
Maybe my body overreacts, maybe it just gives me a shot of adrenaline for no reason but it is not normal either way.
I appreciate what you are saying and it may well be true for simple 'worriers' but for many people such as myself that have no real lions or cages the physical illness is very real.
What would you say to a 65 year old male who has been suffering from health anxiety for 2 years.Worst physical symptoms are bowell and bladder.Constant worrying about health total loss of confidence.CBT no help ditto medications though less agitated on mood stabilizer.I know no cure but how does one maintain hope?
hi fred its so hard isn't it, i too get bladder probs sometimes too, i suffer anxiety, diff kinds and gets me down alot at times, my only advice when something triggers your health anxiety or you start to panic etc, is to keep busy with something, wot ever it mayb anything, or chat to someone, and try to clear your mind of those thoughts until it feels alittle easier, i know its easier said than done, and with me i go for long walks as it helps to keep my anxiety at bay alittle and keeps me more motivated, i dont take meds, i have been known to paint my house just to get rid of awful anxiety thoughts. sorry i cant b much help Fred, hugs xx
Hi Fred,
I would say look at the key word in what you've said....
Constant worrying about health total loss of confidence.
That word is "worrying". When we worry about our health, we keep our symptoms alive because the original anxiety symptoms are created by worry.
Bladder and bowel problems, if there is nothing else that can be found and if a person tends to be a worrier, will be caused simply by worrying. Worrying makes us feel bloated or the need to go to the loo constantly. They are a symptom of anxiety. Someone did mention on here that it could be because fear makes us want to empty our bowels so that we can escape faster. I don't know if that's what it is or not except that it's a common symptom of anxiety. It could well be IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome).
Years ago I used to find that by the time I got to work I'd urgently need the loo because I felt so anxious about the day ahead. I therefore used to try eating lots of fruit etc the night before in the hope of clearing myself out before I got to work. It never worked though because it only needed me need to go more!
CBT only works if able to put the theory into practise. If we standing by a bridge overlooking a ravine feeling very anxious about crossing it, we can either sit there always feeling anxious or we can attempt to cross it to prove to ourselves there is nothing to fear. That's how CBT works. It's not always easy though to put into practise when we can't stop worrying about something that frightens us.
Today I had to help with the shopping and my tummy was feeling really dodgy! I really thought that I was going to need a loo while I was out because it wouldn't settle and I kept on worrying "what if" I get caught short while I'm driving.
As it turned out, once I was out I stopped worrying about my tummy and before I knew it my tummy had settled. I realised afterwards that it was me worrying about my symptoms that were keeping them alive. That's how anxiety makes us feel ill when we're not. We worry ourselves into making us feel ill.
If however the doctor can find a physical cause that is creating our physical illness then we know it's not just anxiety. If though the doctors can't find anything wrong but worrying is part of our nature, fear will most likely be creating our symptoms of feeling ill. If we can train ourselves not to worry and "forget" about our body and it's feelings, the symptoms will often subside on their own.
When someone suffers a panic attack, the attack will frighten them so much that they will keep thinking about the feelings they cause. The quickest way to stop an attack is to ignore it and the feelings soon disappear because we start breathing properly again.
I used to suffer attacks, suffered from GAD and OCD, trembling, being sick every morning etc etc and also agoraphobia to name a few, and they drove me to despair so that I would selfh and later took od's because I'd lost all hope of ever finding enjoyment in life again.
I never normally watch darts but I was watching a match tonight which I found engrossing. A player was 4 - 1 down and a leg down in the next set but he came back to win 5 - 4. He was interviewed afterwards and was asked what he'd been told in the break before he started his comeback. He simply said he was told to Never give up. He was then asked how he managed to raise his game to perform so well after the break. He said one word- Practise.
He never gave up because he knew he had the ability if only he found self-belief. Together with willpower, determination and technique he won his match. The same can be said for anxiety because we too need to constantly remind ourselves we Can learn to cope but we have to gradually build confidence and learn the right ways to think.
I know now what I have to do when my body starts playing up. Ignore it and it'll ignore me if it's just anxiety.
Hope that's of some help.:shrug:
I know we can cure our anxiety. Ok maybe cure is not the word but I believe like someone who dislikes flying we can cope with our anxiety. Every week I need to go to edinburgh, sometimes twice a week. I can go by train or car but both hold their own fears. Yet as soon as I am on the road the fears go, the anxiety goes. Have I cured my anxiety or have I put it on hold?
working in the mental health field I understand that I am facing the fear and accepting the fear cannot hurt me. The anxiety goes from 10 to 7 to 4 etc
I believe by doing something over and over our mind accepts it and our anxiety is no longer an issue
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