View Full Version : Agoraphobic - how did that happen?
Hi,
Been doing a bit of research trying to help myself why all of a sudden I'm off work, taking SSRI's and being referred to CMHT. Have now realised that all the different phobias I have are all symptoms of agoraphobia. Fear of travelling on trains, buses, but can do more if I've got someone with me. Don't like being on my own. Can't stand the thought of being trapped in a tunnel or underground, and now in the few weeks I've been off work can't go much further than the end of the road. Don't understand why or how I got here. Is it because of the difficult things that have happened to me, is it a result of not coping with things properly, or does it just happen to some people?
Just trying to make sense of things, anyone got anny advice or can point me in the right direction to find some? Just feeling a bit bewildered!
Thanks, Pennie x x x
Pennie
Hi Pennie,
I think a lot of us suffer in the same way, myself included!
Unfortunately, when we are feeling anxious/panicky, we tend to start to avoid places where there are a lot of people/feel hemmed in etc just in case we start panicking. This then escalates until we are avoiding more and more places that to us do not feel "safe".
Unfortunately, this avoidance is the worst possible thing for us and merely serves to make our "safe" places smaller and smaller.
The only way to overcome this is to go out there and face our fears. Begin slowly, VERY slowly, to widen your comfort zone.
I have avoided going certain places for years and have ended up leading a very restricted life.
Good luck and keep us posted.
Kate
Agrophobic seem to have work it's magic silence on me some how as well lol.
i use to tell my sefl as long as dont end up lock inside a house hiding in a corner i was fine not agropobic lol. It was not till 3mth ago that for some reason decided to look up the meaning of agrophobia and realised i was an agrophobic. 3 year's ago I'd had enought of people setting of my "bad reaction' as saw it 'attention seeking' as other saw it. i had enought of trying to explain away my reactiom to people all the time so i shut my self of from people limiting my cantact with family and friend's and all people in general. I would cross the road to avoid looking silly about being nervous walking past stranger i was walking in the big gap of people at the shop's if there was no good place to walk i would stand an wait till there was just so i would not bump anyone and make them say sorry or get angry at me ect. i would have to plan to say hello to anyone i thought that might say hello me like the checkout people if I didn't plan it it would freak me out big time and would walk away kicking my self cause i forgot. that was just a fue of my issues lol.
baby step to getting you life back make a plan and go after it one baby step at a time.
Kate put it really well.
This is my major problem too.
To make headway with this I think it's best to start with baby steps. For me this meant just standing on my own doorstep, then into the front garden then up the street - you get the idea!!!
I have now progressed from this to being able to get to the local town and do shopping and various other things, although I am still doing this with company as I'm not quite ready to go it alone.
Also don't measure this in time scales as it will be different for different people and don't move on until you are quite comfortable with the stage you are at.
Good luck:D
Love Piglet x
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
Hi, thanks for the support
Can particularly identify with the things you said mum. Up to know I've seen the things i was afraid of a completely rational. The bombs on the tube made me believe i was right all along to be afraid of the tube, but it doesn't really work like that does it? Not when you make your husband leave for work with you at 7am so that gets in early and he's not on the tube just before 9 because that's when the bombs went off. I got upset when my friends didn't seem to be asking me to go out so much now i realise that it was because i kept making excuses not to go and couldn't understand why they didn't think it was unsafe to go out to pubs and clubs late at night. Now I understand that agoraphobia is fear of being in situations you can't get out of at least I'm beginning to understand better. Thing is up until the summer I lived ten minutes walk away from work and five minutes walk away from a shopping centre. My life was limited to one end of a road to another, but i never questioned it because i had everything i needed to survive day to day. I did do more things then, but i was still limiting myself i guess. For now I'm going out every day in the evening with my husband just to a pub a few minutes walk away but it's getting out and that's the important bit, I know if i don't keep doing it things will get worse. Not drinking tho, flipping citolapram, makes me go giddy! Anyway, know I'm rambling but thoughts and feelings never come out in a logical way do they?
Take care Pennie x x x
Pennie
Well done Pennie for figuring it out and now starting to do something about it
Agorophobia (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6184)
im back now! (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6310)
Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com
Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?
Hi,
Feeling so annoyed with myself because I just cancelled on a friend who I was supposed to go and visit. She's so understanding too, had arranged to come and pick me up or said she would just come to me if I didn't feel up to travelling. But my husband came home ill last night and it just threw me off. Partly coz I will then worry that I'll get it. Partly because he still looked ill today but insisted on going to work, feel like he never listens to me about things like that. There's always something important going on at work that he needs to be there for. Wanted him to stay home and get better. Well, rescheduled with my friend for thursday so new target is to make that. Hate feeling like I'm letting people down because my head won't let me do things!
Had returned to work part time but the second week was messed up because of the blast and the building being closed so had to stay home for 2 days which made me feel horrible, and felt like I'd had a false start. There are so many stressed out people at work, but I'm not prepared to get stressed about things I see don't really matter in the long run, coz I need to look after myself, so then I feel they're angry at me for not seeing things the way they do. Also missed a meeting with a couple of collegues because I had psyched myself up for going there by train by myself but then there were signal faliures so trains were cancelled or delayed so I couldn't cope with the thought of the train being crowded and maybe getting stuck outside a station or something. Know that annoyed them coz they think I was making excuses, but I really did try. I know things have got to be better than the relentless doom and gloom these people portray. So many bad things can happen, you really have to look at what's positive.
Says me! Just feel frustrated about the limits I'm putting on my life. Family are coming to me for christmas coz i couldn't travel to them, going out th eat (literally around the corner, lucky it's a nice place!) coz I'd be too afraid the turkey wasn't cooked. Eating vegetarian option coz, once again I'd be afraid the turkey wasn't cooked! Not going out with friends for christmas parties coz couldn't stand the thought of being in a crowded pub full of drunk people not knowing what might happen (probably nothing but doesn't stop me worrying!)
I've got so much, lovely home, lovely husband good job, so why do i feel like this. Am trying to move forward but when I feel like I have achieved something then can see all the limits I've put around what I have done. Sorry it's such a long post, just needed to get it all out.
Take care,
Pennie
Pennie
It sometimes is too hard to tackle it all at once.
It does take small and very persistant steps .
Don't beat yourself up about the big picture and current limitations but recognise all the positive steps you have taken and keep them up and build on them.
Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com
Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?
Hi Pen,
Like Meg says, try not to worry about the bigger picture.
If I am having a few too many little hiccups I go back to trying to live in the day that I am in, rather than leaping ahead or looking back.
Manage what you can for that day and be aware that 'your best is an ever changing thing depending on whether you are tired, poorly etc etc - if you are trying your best then you can't do more, can you.
This is off one of my affirmation cards and its so true.
Love Piglet xxx
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
Hi
That's a good one Piglet, think I'll take a copy of that.:) As far as work goes, I guess it would help if I stopped worrying what everyone else thought of me. Bet they don't spend a fraction of that time thinking about me!
Pennie x
Fear is static that prevents me from hearing myself. ~Samuel Butler
Yes Pen that's me too hun!!!!!!
Merry Christmas:D
Love Piglet x
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
Hi
Just wanted to let you know that I visited my friend today that I had put off earlier in the week. Had a great day and feel I've achieved alot. Another friend has asked me to go and see her and her family up north next week and I really feel that I could do that now and it would do me alot of good. Depends on my sister as she's the one who has to drive. And obviously I need the support, couldn't get a train by myself. Have to be brave to get in a car with her tho, she makes Schumacker look like a sunday driver! Anyway just wanted to say thanks for the support. Another small step for most people but a giant leap for Pennie. Your affirmation has really stuck with me Piglet.
Happy Christmas Meg and Piglet and to anyone else who reads my post. Hope you have a happy and restful time
Pennie x:)
Fear is static that prevents me from hearing myself. ~Samuel Butler
Good for you Pennie for today. Excellent.
Hope it goes well next week.
Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com
Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?
Pennie that's brilliant mate - I expect to hear all about it on your return :D:D:D
Love Piglet xx
PS: my sister drives like that too lol!!!!!:)
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
Hi,
Going to start with a great big scream aarrgghh! There that's better. I've been doing my best to move forward going back to work part time. The journey there is a bit of a problem but I'm determined not to let that stop me. Anyway there was a points problem this morning so the train ground to a halt at one point, causing a mild panic attack, not a great way to start the day. Anyway when i do get there the person who i jobshare with decided to have a go at me saying we're all under pressure and accusing me of not pulling my wait. Which for the record is a load of rubbish. anyway i walked out of the room to avoid a shouting match and then spent an hour with my boss talking things through and now i'm at home, great! I'm lucky my boss is understanding but i feel like i'm ultimately being forced out. I'm trying to do the best for me and the people i work with by going part time. I know it would make me worse if i just stayed at home day after day. I want to be positive i want to do what's best for me with out pushing myself too hard but unfortunatrly some people are just not sympathetic to that, feel totally bewildered and uncertain. I thought i could get in control if i just took one step at a time but maybe it would be best if i wasn't there at all. Made an appointment to speak to doc later out of desparation but don't know if they'll be able to help. I'm on the bottom of a 3 month waiting list for an pych therapy assessment, but what do i do in the meantime. I'm thinking about your wise words piglet about my best being an ever changing thing and i have done my best today, but that still means I'm at home while the gossips in work are saying she can't cope and she shouldn't be there. How can i help myself in the meantime if i can't change people's attitudes to mental illness???
Any replys would be great
Pennie x x x
Fear is static that prevents me from hearing myself. ~Samuel Butler
<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">I'm thinking about your wise words piglet about my best being an ever changing thing and i have done my best today, but that still means I'm at home while the gossips in work are saying she can't cope and she shouldn't be there. How can i help myself in the meantime if i can't change people's attitudes to mental illness???
Any replys would be great
Pennie x x x
Fear is static that prevents me from hearing myself. ~Samuel Butler
[i][right]Originally posted by Pennie - 18 January 2006 : 13:36:08</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">
Pennie hun if you are doing your best then that is all that can be asked of you.
If your best is not good enough in this situation then some compromises have to be reached.
Also another one of my cards is all about the fact that you cannot be responsible for other peoples opinions and actions - only your own.
Don't spend anytime worrying over their opinion of you. It's your own opinion of yourself that counts here. You have done your best and that is something to be very proud of and not apologetic about.
Yes pop along to the doctor and chat it over as they may have some good suggestions, otherwise what about a few little lifestyle changes.
Could you start doing some stuff just for yourself and little treats to spoil yourself (don't have to be expensive). Have you ever read two little books Meg got me on. Don't Panic and the Little Book of calm (they are on the recommended book list on the site and can be got from amazon) these have some useful tips and are tiny so fit in your bag.
Walk tall and be proud of the uniqueness of you!!!
Piget xxx
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
Thanks piglet,
you made me cry - but in a good way! :) Thank's for your words of encouragement, you are right and I'll think a bit more about it! Hey at least it meant i got to see the most exciting episode of neighbours there's been since karl kennedy had a heart attack!
Penny
Fear is static that prevents me from hearing myself. ~Samuel Butler
:D:D:D
Ooh better shoot off then and see the axing of half the cast!!!
Piglet xxxxxxxxxxx
Hi again
went to doc, was a bit bizarre as he spoke to me for 40 mins even though there were people in the waiting room to see him. Didn't give any suggestions of anything else i could do think the point of the converstion was to reassure me that i was on the right track, I did come out feeling much better if not a little confused!
Pennie :)
Fear is static that prevents me from hearing myself. ~Samuel Butler
Well done for going though mate.
The trouble is I think alot of them are not quite sure what to say for the best sometimes.
I think we come back to working on a few things for yourself.
Piglet xxxx
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
nomorepanic
18-01-06, 19:03
Pennie
Sometimes the doctor doesn't have to give any real advice for us to feel better. I think it is because we trust them and believe what they say.
I am glad it helped.
Nicola
Thanks Nicola, I think what it did for me was help me believe that what I am doing is right for me, and it takes a strong person to admit where they're struggling and try to find a way forward. I'm not a weak person who can't cope. I'm not going to see today as a bad day, it's the day Pennie stood up for herself and started believing in herself and I've got to hold on to that if or when I start to sink back into self doubt.
Pennie x
Fear is static that prevents me from hearing myself. ~Samuel Butler
nomorepanic
18-01-06, 21:57
Pennie
Oh I agree with you. You have to stand up and say "I am not taking this anymore" and that is not easy to do but you have a positive attitude and that will stand you in good stead for coping.
I am glad you are feeling better - you go for it!
Nicola
Hi
Hope you're all ok today. Still trying to build on the evnts of last week. Have arranged to do some voluntary work in a place I'd really like to work, going to visit next tuesday. Went out afterwards to take repeat prescription to the doc and realised I was walking with my head up and a smile on my face insteasd of looking at the ground with my hands clasped together as a usually do. Then got a take away latte and instead of rushing home to drink it before it gets cold like i usually do I went and sat in the park to have it instead (the park is literally opposite where I live but it's still somewhere I wouldn't have felt comfortable before). Just got the urge and went and did it. Starting to see the bigger picture and realising I've just got to do the best for me and not sit around deliberating about what others think and waiting for them to tell me i can or can't do it. Didn't realise taking a step forward to move my career on would also move my agraphobia on in that I wanted to sit in the park instead of hiding inside of my house.:D
Pennie x
"If you wait until you become perfect before you love yourself, you'll waste your whole life. You're already perfect right here and right now." Lousie L Hay
Oh Pennie what a lovely post mate, a damn good squeeze for you:D:D:D
Piglet xx
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