another newbie

[paulcooper02]

Hi all, I thought I would introduce myself and say hi. My name is Paul and I come from Bristol in the UK. I recently tried to take my own life, on the 18/12 by taking a mixture of paracetamol and alcohol. My then girlfriend at the time, came and took me to hospital where I stayed for 2 days on a drip. Since I did what I did I have lost my GF, she has a young daughter who comes first obviously and she also has her own mental health issues, which i completely understand. I have no friends and I have since been put onto 20 mg of Citalopram. I am drinking heaverly, 10 cans a day and I have started conselling and also started attending mental health clinics. I'm not in a good place at the moment and I came across this forum so i decided to join. I have a history of depression in my life, but nothing as bad as how i'm feeling at the moment. I have comtemplated taking my own life again, however I'm still here and trying in vain to get all the help that is available to me, even though I'm riddled with guilt for what I have done. I hope to hear from anyone with similar stories and open to any advice people can give me so that i can try and get my life back in order.

[nomorepanic]

Hi paulcooper02

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[Maj]

Hello Paul,

Welcome to nmp. You're making a step towards recovery joining this site because there are others here who have felt or are feeling like you do. You are not alone. You sound in a very low place at the moment. With the right treatment you will see light at the end of the tunnell. I think you need to take one step at a time. Do you feel as if the medication is working at all? If not then you can speak to your doctor again and get a change. There is a suitable medication for everyone and it's a case of trial and error. If you'd like to cut down on your drinking then your doctor can help you with this. There's absolutely nothing wrong with having a drink but if you overdo it then you'll know, I'm sure, that this actually has a depressive after effect. And make you more anxious. You don't have to stop, but it's best to try and cut down. If you can do this with some help then just doing something to help yourself will start to lighten your mood, even if only slightly. It all adds up. You are a very important person in your own right and if you ever feel as if you are on the edge again then phone the Samaritans. That's what they are there for. Take each day as it comes. Be good to yourself. Eat well, sleep when you want. Take your medication - more than one if your doctor prescribes it. Try and get out and about and I promise you that slowly but surely you can get your life back again. You'll get friends on this site who can relate to you. Don't be hard on yourself, you are only human.
Myra:hugs:

[eeyorelover]

Welcome Paul!
Sounds like you've been thru a lot lately!
I'm sorry you are struggling right now but remember that it won't be forever and you are taking steps to get the help you need!
The counseling and clinic are positive steps to battle the depression!
Just remember you aren't alone!
There are people here who will give you support!!
(((HUGS)))
xxx
Sandy

[paulcooper02]

Hi all,
Many thanks for all your advice and I no I'm not the only one who has felt like this before and thanks for the hug too, I need one thats for sure. I feel so alone and lonely and like many people in the past i have been told to just "pull myself together", if only people knew and understood that I dont like feeling like this, lonely and feeling like a failure, no use to anyone, but thats how I DO feel and it doesn't matter how many times I hear different, they are my thoughts, but I'm looking at getting all the help that is on offer and looking forward to getting to grips with this site. It's nice to know I'm not the only one!!!!!

[clairity]

people who have never experieced depression or high anxiety have no idea how hard it is to turn off that switch. i was told if you dont want to think like that then dont. its so not that simple. if only it was. the guilt i think is the worst, feeling like everything is your fautlt but it is a symptom of depression and its something we cant help feeling. im about to begin a 10mg course of the same meds as yourself so maybe we can share experiences.

[paulcooper02]

No problem Clair, happy to share experiences and to be honest the 1st 2 weeks of being put on citalopram was a nightmare, however I was advised that would happen. Today is the 1st day in weeks I have started feeling a bit better. It's nice to know I'm not the only one in this mess.

[Alicat]

Hi Paul,

I'm sorry to hear you're so low. I've been where you've been and it's horrible. A good counsellor can make a world of difference so you're doing the right thing. :welcome:

[Morley]

Hi,
Welcome to this site, I have a family history of depression.. your not alone. anytime you need to talk....

[Veronica H]

:welcome:Paul. Glad that you have found us. This is a friendly place with great information and support.

Veronica:hugs:

[pink daisy]

Hi Paul,

Please to meet you, Im sorry to hear your story hun :-( You can change your life around now and write a very positive story soon :-)

hope to chat soon.. maybe come into chat sometime and have a laugh with us all


Pink daisey

ps.. I live in somerset :-) xx