Constant anxiety

[nursey4]

Hi all,
I've been going through a particularly bad spell of anxiety lately. It feels as though my meds have stopped working and I am anxious ALL THE TIME! Well, actually, it's weird because when I'm at work I'm not usually super anxious but on weekends and after work, it's out of control.
I have had anxiety for 8 years this spring and it has been much, much worse and much, much better than it is now. I would just think that after all this time, I would have figured out a way to deal!! I have increased my prozac as of today, with my doc's knowledge, and I am taking more clonazepam (klonopin) than I ever used to. I figure I have built a tolerance after taking it daily for the past 5 years. I know some of you will say you shouldn't take benzo's every day but honestly, benzo's helped me to live my life again! I know it's addictive but I'd rather be addicted than in constant panic!
My major fear is about my heart. Heart attack, heart rhythm problems, heart failure, you name it, it worries me. I get a lot of chest pain and palpitations. I have had many, many tests- the latest being in the summer and it was all clear. They actually said I was "fit" which shocks me considering my only real exercise is walking for the past 7 yrs since I am scared to increase my heart rate too much. I am so, so, so scared I will die as a result of something heart related. Anytime I hear about a young person dying of something to do with their heart, I freak. And I am not all that young anymore (I'm 32) and the fear is taking it's toll. I am exhausted often and my motivation is low. At work, I can pretend to be this professional person, counselling others, looking like I've got it together but on the inside I'm very ill. I am seriously at a loss. My doc wants me to try Effexor and I think it is a good idea but I am so scared to change meds. Last time I did, I was off work for 6 weeks and was in near constant panic. It was awful!
I am just so uncomfortable in my skin and every little thing startles me and it feels like a shock goes through my heart.
I guess I am just looking for someone who can relate tonight. I am also venting as it's hard to vent like this to my husband, friends or parents. I just want to be normal. I have missed out on sooooo many things. The ironic thing is that before anxiety I was a person who would try anything and was never scared. At 19, I flew to Australia alone and backpacked around for a year. Never scared. I went to Europe to live with my husband and travelled around a bit by myself. I used to want to try everything. Then I got sick and my whole life and personality changed. I am now the most careful, sensible person you could ever meet. I still want adventure but I haven't even been able to get on a plane in over 7 years.
Anyways, thanks for reading this if you've made it this far! Do you feel constant anxiety sometimes? It's a little different than panic- I can still function but it's just always super uncomfortable and I am constantly focused on my heart.
I would love to hear from people who can relate. This is such a lonely disease. And my apologies for being so negative- just the trip I'm on at the moment.
XOXO

[sammi]

hello nursey4. i no exactly how u feel. my dad died at the age of 28 of a heart attack and then 10 weeks later his brother aged 26 of the same thing. i have been told its hereditary on the male side they have 2 sisters both in ther 40s who are perfectly fine no women av died ov this in the family. but for the past 4 weeks ive been suffering really bad chest pain left arm ache tingling in the left hand im convinced i av the same condition and im goin 2 die of a heart attack anytime soon. since this started a month ago ive been 2 a&e 14 times and had 14 ecgs and bloods which av all come back fine the hospital have assured me its not my heart and just anxiety but im scared to death they have missed something and its my heart. so i no how you feel and if you ever need to chat message me anytime. xx

[Midnight]

Hi nursey4,

I have the exact same problem, i'm on edge all the time i'm in constant fear that something terrible is going to happen. This leads to uncomfortable chest pains and palpitations which have made me believe I have some awful heart condition. I started to feel better after being perscribed Citalopram but feel I have taken a step backwards. I'm going to re-visit my GP to discuss this with her.

Maybe you should go back to your GP and discuss your options as it doesn't look like your meds are helping, maybe you have become too use to your meds and need to be perscribed something else or to be referred for some therapy?

[deb141]

Hi there,
I am 35 and have suffered with anxiety for 10 years now, and like you it has been much worse and loads better. I went through a period of about 2 years of almost 'normality' after taking flouxetine. The anxiety came back worse than ever a week after having my first child in december 08, it was terrible and i really thought i had lost the plot and would be sent to some sort of asylum as i just could not pull myself together. I worry about all sorts of different things, i suffer with horrible palpitations and had a ecg which was fine. I have been on effexor for a year and to be honest with you i don't think its as good as flouxetine (which i think is a form of prozac). I too lead a very considered and sensible life and have not been able to get on a plane for 11 years, prior to that i would have done anything.
My life revolves around anxiety and what i can and can't do, and to be honest i have had enough. I wake up in a morning and check with myself to see what my anxiety levels are !. I have been referred for some cognitive behavoural therapy at the end of the month by my gp, i really hope it helps. I am also considering getting my meds changed as i don't seem to be able to move on at the moment.
You are definately not on your own, and i totally understand how you are feeling. We just want a magic wand to take it all away and move on.
If ever you want to chat just pm me.
Take care xx

[gypsywomen]

it is a debilatating illness w have to try to overcome our fears or its won

[SueBut]

I can relate to you on the constant anxiety front - I actually had a week free last week and thought I was moving forward however at the weekend I had a night of panic attacks and since then I have had the constant anxiety. I am currently looking at changing my meds as I am on Fluoxetine and have been told by several people that there are much better meds that I could be taking specifically for anxiety and panic. I would love to know how to deal with the constant anxiety as I have tried distraction etc. and nothing seems to work apart from valium. I def think you should look at changing your meds. Good luck - I certainly know how you feel.x

[hugs]

I have been anxious 24/7 over the past year, I haven't had one minute's peace during all this time. My anxiety is over my head rather than my heart though. I'm petrified of brain tumours or anurysms and I constantly have headaches, shooting pains, aches, pressures everything. I don't think that I have a brain problem now but I believe that eventually I will get one from all the tension and stress I put myself under but the more I want to not think about it and switch off the more my head hurts, it's very sad and I just have to get on everyday pretending that I'm completely normal when really inside I'm in a lot of pain and am convinced that I will suffer from a brain haemerage any day. I'm waiting to start CBT and I am praying that it works!!

xxxx

[nursey4]

Thanks all for your replies. I am so sorry that you all feel this way as well though it does help to know I'm not alone. I am feeling a bit better now. I think part of my problem was Christmas. It seems that any kind of event makes my anxiety increase. Imagine what we could do if we could put our collective anxiety energy together for the positive!
I hope you are all having at least a semi non-anxious night. XOXO