Stuck thoughts

[desperate]

Just wondering if anyone has any suggestions on how to get 'stuck' thoughts out.

I know i keep myself in this cycle of anxiety and depression as my thoughts seem to be about choices I made in the past etc.

I see the problem as being that i didn't deal with these thoughts at the time regarding my situation and now they are a bit stuck, like on loop automatically.

has anyone any ideas on how to unstick them?!

Sarah

[lotus]

Hey Sarah

I also do that a lot and it makes me terribly anxious and full of guilt and regret. I keep analyzing my past, like why did I do a certain thing, what else could have I done instead of what I actually did, I'm really self-absorbed and trying to figure myself out all the time, why am I this why, what is my motivation, why do I do the things I do, what does that mean, am I a good or a bad person, etc. I think the best way to deal with this is to accept the past for what it is, to accept that you did what you thought was the best thing to do back at a certain past moment. Maybe now you would do a completely different thing, but now you know things that you didn't back then, now you're a different, more experienced person. People change, it's OK not to be perfect and to make mistakes, just try not to blame yourself but instead use the past experience to help you deal better with present situations. Focus on the present moment and act, do things, get busy, instead of only thining and analyzing. Less thought, more action :)

[bighenry]

I do exactly this too: it's such hard work to move the mind off a topic once it gets into a rut. "Why did I do that?" "Am I completely messed up 'cos I did x in the past" "Am I 'bad' for thinking this?" "What was that I forgot -- what if it was important? Must remember what it was ..."

The CBT I did taught me the following: The problem occurs when the thoughts go on and on without conclusion (so ruminations.) The trick, so it goes, is to look at the situation rationally:

- What is the thought?
- What is the worse case for this thought?
- What is the realistic case for this thought? So on balance, what do I really think?

For me, for example:

- What if the thing I've forgotten was some reason I'd thought of that anxiety *can* actually do me some physical harm, death, paralaysis, whatever. And now I've forgotten it.
- This could lead to death or paralysis, and worse still I'd blame myself for not having rememberd what it was. Awful, surely.
- It's very, very unlikely that I've thought of anything all the docs haven't. I have no medical training. And would I really blame myself? Unlikely; I think I could forgive myself for making a mistake. I am not perfect.

Once you get to the end thought, it probably won't stop the initial thought coming back from time to time, but if it makes you feel less anxious, then you're on the right track.

HTH!

Henry

[Meg]

Sarah,

As has already been mentioned, you do need to put yourself back in that place and remember that you did not have the benefit of hindsight or life experience and that you did the best you could at the time.

Every day we make descisions and live with the consequences, these were similar but maybe more life altering.
Try to think back to why you made those choices and see how much those reasons still hold up without all this extra knowledge.

There is a bit of fate in here too - its now done so try to find and make the best of the path you did choose and you can still make further changes should you want to.

Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?