Bill
11-01-10, 03:33
Just something I've been thinking about recently which I thought I'd share to see if others can relate with it.
Have you ever woken up on a Monday morning feeling extremely anxious without being aware of actually thinking anything? Could it be explained purely by the fact that you're dreading going to work and the stress involved at work all week?
What if you don't work but still feel very anxious?
What if you feel the same anxious feelings Every morning whether you work or not?
If so, why when you're not actually aware of thinking anything?
Is this you?
This is what I've been thinking about and this is my theory...
Actually I think there are 2 issues going on which go hand in hand which are both caused by our personalities.
The first issue are Panic Attacks. They first occur when we are feeling overstressed in our lives. Maybe it's a build of pressure or simply just a bad day but once we expereience one attack, we then become afraid of experiencing another attack. They create a "fear of "Feeling" fear" so that when we wake up each morning, our subconscious thinks for us without us realising. For instance, if you're walking along and find a huge hole in front of you, your first thought isn't about falling down it because instinct takes over telling us to stop. We don't actually think anything. It's a learnt response to a known threat to our safety. The fear of feeling fear caused by panics also therefore becomes programmed in our minds so that we wake up with a habit of fearing them and getting through the day ahead.
However, not everyone experiences actual panic attacks and yet they still wake up every morning feeling extremely anxious. This I feel is the second issue. Whether or not we suffer panic attacks, we find every day an effort to get through because we know somwhere along the line we'l be facing fear. This fear could be created by something read in a newspaper, something heard on TV or radio, whilst we're doing something such as simply going out, doing the school run or shopping or even by frightening thoughts that won't leave us alone because all these things stress us.
In other words, whether we experience panics or wake feeling afraid of facing the day for other reasons, we wake with "a fear of Living" because life to us means danger and risk in whatever we hear, see or do. Fear rules our lives.
Then I thought, why do we fear living so much and why do we find living so stressful? Why can't we just wake looking forward to each day?
This is where we come down to our personalities. We're sensitive which mean everything we experience affects us more than others. We're also often "born worriers" so we worry about everything! This worry then creates self-doubt so we then qustion our own thoughts and abilities which then means we find each day an effort because self-doubt then causes us to feel anxious because we feel so uncertain. I think we're also born insecure which also creates this feeling of needing comfort and reassurance to make us feel safe.
All these things then make us feel "trapped" by our own fear of living. We cannot control life or make life safe so living fills us with fear which we cannot escape because living means taking risk.
This is why we need to learn to accept life for what it is. Bad things happen which cause hurt and pain but they're just a part of life. We cannot be "perfect" because we're only human. Perfectionism causes rigidness and tension because we won't allow ourselves mistakes which I feel maybe all connected with this need to feel safe.
However, there is one quality which I feel connects everything - Confidence. How many of you would say you're a confident person and therefore don't fear living? If you fear getting up each day then I would say that you're probably lacking confidence either because of the way you were born or because you've suffered bad experiences which have knocked you back.
Although I feel we need to accept life for what it is, I also firmly believe that if we don't build self-confidence, we will always struggle to cope with living. Confidence is Key. With confidence in our own abilities we will feel we can overcome anything. A sportsman is often accused of being arrogant but if he doesn't believe in himself, he will never win because nerves will rule him. I find that myself. If I'm feeling confident things work but if my confience is lacking then I don't believe in myself so more often than not things don't come off.
Someone who is confident will only need meds if they lost their confidence or if they suffered from depression. Meds ease our symptoms so that we feel more confident in ourselves. They are a substitute for confidence.
So the question is how do we build confidence? This is where I was listening to this darts player the other day. I found his attitude an inspiration! He simply said "Never give up" and "Practise". In other words, to overcome anxiety we need willpower and determination but we also need the knowledge and experience to learn the "right" techniques for our particular fears, and as we overcome each fear our confidence builds, our worries lessen and our anxious feelings ease because we start to believe in ourselves.
I realise that when someone is feeling very ill with anxiety it can feel extremely difficult to pull ourselves out because anxiety destroys our confidence so the future is filled with pessimism but I feel with the right help, even with meds to provide that bit of extra confidence we need, it is possible to wake up looking forward to another day in our lives.
If we give up, we give up on hope and hope will give up on us.
Anyway, just some thoughts.:shrug:
Have you ever woken up on a Monday morning feeling extremely anxious without being aware of actually thinking anything? Could it be explained purely by the fact that you're dreading going to work and the stress involved at work all week?
What if you don't work but still feel very anxious?
What if you feel the same anxious feelings Every morning whether you work or not?
If so, why when you're not actually aware of thinking anything?
Is this you?
This is what I've been thinking about and this is my theory...
Actually I think there are 2 issues going on which go hand in hand which are both caused by our personalities.
The first issue are Panic Attacks. They first occur when we are feeling overstressed in our lives. Maybe it's a build of pressure or simply just a bad day but once we expereience one attack, we then become afraid of experiencing another attack. They create a "fear of "Feeling" fear" so that when we wake up each morning, our subconscious thinks for us without us realising. For instance, if you're walking along and find a huge hole in front of you, your first thought isn't about falling down it because instinct takes over telling us to stop. We don't actually think anything. It's a learnt response to a known threat to our safety. The fear of feeling fear caused by panics also therefore becomes programmed in our minds so that we wake up with a habit of fearing them and getting through the day ahead.
However, not everyone experiences actual panic attacks and yet they still wake up every morning feeling extremely anxious. This I feel is the second issue. Whether or not we suffer panic attacks, we find every day an effort to get through because we know somwhere along the line we'l be facing fear. This fear could be created by something read in a newspaper, something heard on TV or radio, whilst we're doing something such as simply going out, doing the school run or shopping or even by frightening thoughts that won't leave us alone because all these things stress us.
In other words, whether we experience panics or wake feeling afraid of facing the day for other reasons, we wake with "a fear of Living" because life to us means danger and risk in whatever we hear, see or do. Fear rules our lives.
Then I thought, why do we fear living so much and why do we find living so stressful? Why can't we just wake looking forward to each day?
This is where we come down to our personalities. We're sensitive which mean everything we experience affects us more than others. We're also often "born worriers" so we worry about everything! This worry then creates self-doubt so we then qustion our own thoughts and abilities which then means we find each day an effort because self-doubt then causes us to feel anxious because we feel so uncertain. I think we're also born insecure which also creates this feeling of needing comfort and reassurance to make us feel safe.
All these things then make us feel "trapped" by our own fear of living. We cannot control life or make life safe so living fills us with fear which we cannot escape because living means taking risk.
This is why we need to learn to accept life for what it is. Bad things happen which cause hurt and pain but they're just a part of life. We cannot be "perfect" because we're only human. Perfectionism causes rigidness and tension because we won't allow ourselves mistakes which I feel maybe all connected with this need to feel safe.
However, there is one quality which I feel connects everything - Confidence. How many of you would say you're a confident person and therefore don't fear living? If you fear getting up each day then I would say that you're probably lacking confidence either because of the way you were born or because you've suffered bad experiences which have knocked you back.
Although I feel we need to accept life for what it is, I also firmly believe that if we don't build self-confidence, we will always struggle to cope with living. Confidence is Key. With confidence in our own abilities we will feel we can overcome anything. A sportsman is often accused of being arrogant but if he doesn't believe in himself, he will never win because nerves will rule him. I find that myself. If I'm feeling confident things work but if my confience is lacking then I don't believe in myself so more often than not things don't come off.
Someone who is confident will only need meds if they lost their confidence or if they suffered from depression. Meds ease our symptoms so that we feel more confident in ourselves. They are a substitute for confidence.
So the question is how do we build confidence? This is where I was listening to this darts player the other day. I found his attitude an inspiration! He simply said "Never give up" and "Practise". In other words, to overcome anxiety we need willpower and determination but we also need the knowledge and experience to learn the "right" techniques for our particular fears, and as we overcome each fear our confidence builds, our worries lessen and our anxious feelings ease because we start to believe in ourselves.
I realise that when someone is feeling very ill with anxiety it can feel extremely difficult to pull ourselves out because anxiety destroys our confidence so the future is filled with pessimism but I feel with the right help, even with meds to provide that bit of extra confidence we need, it is possible to wake up looking forward to another day in our lives.
If we give up, we give up on hope and hope will give up on us.
Anyway, just some thoughts.:shrug: