On my own

[Redrainbow]

This is the part of the day i hate most, Wife is at work kids are at school and i'm at home on my own. This is when the torture really starts, i'm just so alone. I no longer have any friends left to talk to as i let then all go as my depression went on. You know the saddest thing, i no longer know how to make friends, i would not know where to start now. I hate the isolation this stupid illness has given me. It's like being in a box watching everyone else around you getting on with no end in sight. Is it just me or is the feeling of being all alone the worst part? I know i am loved by my wife and children, yet i feel so unloved and alone.

[patmac]

i hate the mornings when everyone is away, i hear all the mums at nursery and school saying they hate the holidays i love them, i love having the kids with me because they are all i have. no your not alone. my fella is a lorrydriver and i have no family where i live.
does the weather make you worse too x

[i love tea]

Why don't you use the time to do something for yourself - maybe enrol on a course or something like that? You could learn a new skill or take up a hobby, and make new friends at the same time - it's less scary making friends when you've already got an interest in common and learning something new is a great confidence boost. Just an idea :)

[marie1974]

hi there, i kinda am the same, i know my hubby and kids love me but i feel so alone, i can't trust people and although i make friends easily and i am chatty, i feel i dont wanna b hurt anymore so i back off, i sit at home feeling rubbish, but safe in my home, i force myself to go out, else i never would, its an never ending battle with me every day, i wish i could feel different. you are not alone here, huge ss

[gypsywomen]

i agree maybe find a hobby something that will challenge your brain ,, it dosent help thinking i took up art ,this morning i felt like you so got out my paints ,it helped pass the morning ,its strange when you suffe with this how days seem so long

[Redrainbow]

Hi everyone,
Yes i have a few hobby's but my concentration just isn't with me all the time at the minute so it's difficult. As for art Gipsywomen yes i draw but at the minute my hearts just not in it, not in much of anything really. Yes Donna01 i feel a bit like what you say i don't really want to make friends just incase they let me down in some way, so i just sit here, it feels safer. Don't get me wrong it's not like this all of the time, it's just when your low, your low!

[Redrainbow]

Hello Patmac,
No the weather does not bother me that much really, infact it's about the only thing that does not get me down that much at the minute, how strange is that? For me feeling all alone is the worst part, and the not sleeping at night too, regards Wayne.

[gypsywomen]

well your not alone we are all here,, i didnt feel like art but just thought if i dont do something i will get worse and it helped

[Redrainbow]

Yes Gypsywomen i know you are right, but i just think what's the point most of the time. Did you paint anything nice?

[gypsywomen]

es i did mountains with a waterfall ,go on draw me a picture can i pick the subject ,,

[Redrainbow]

Go on then gypsywomen, but i warn you it may not be pretty picture today, i'm on a real downer. And nothing to cheerful either,

[gypsywomen]

ok dra me a barge an you give me tips on drawing figures and faces

[marie1974]

i wish i had answers for you wayne, its so hard isn't it, we just have to deal with our bad days as best we can and make good use of the good ones, huge hugs coming your way xxx

[Redrainbow]

Draw you a barge gypsywomen alright. Drawing faces is more about getting the shading right as that gives the almost 3D effect that you need to make it look lifelike, and i'm sure as you know faces and people are the hardest things to draw, don't you think?
Thankyou Donna those hugs are well appreciated i can tell you. You know it's amazing isn't it! I don't even know either of you but you have made me feel better, not so alone, Thankyou both for that so much, oh god and once again i have tears in my eyes.
Big hugs back to both of you Donna and Gypsywomen, from Wayne.

[gypsywomen]

thank you wayne ..you see we are never alone anyway thank you for advice how is the barge

[gypsywomen]

where the barge haveyou done it yet i hope your wife home and you feel better pm me anytime

[patmac]

hiya wayne,
i can only go to sleep if i drop off first if my partner goes to sleep first then i am up all night. weird? lol

[fishman65]

Hiya Wayne,I won't try to offer any advice on painting as its not exactly one of my strong points lol.However,I do write poetry now and again and find it helps me to express how I'm feeling.Try writing a few lines?It doesn't have to rhyme or have to be Shakespeare but you might find it helps.Just thinking,are there any art groups or anything near you?I do know how isolating this illness can be,and I agree its one of the worst aspects of the whole thing.Please take care and you can see you have friends here.

Best wishes, Fishy