Citalopram - The Waiting Game [Archive]

80schickx

12-01-10, 10:04

Hi All

I have been prescribed Citalopram for anxiety, and I know a number of people who have been prescribed it saying how wonderful it has been for them.

I started 4 days at 10mg then went up to 20mg on New Years Day, so all in all, I have had the drug in my system since 27 December.

I still feel highly anxious most of the time, especially when I wake up. I feel anxious if I am not doing anything as need to be busy to try and take it off my mind. This could be something mundane like cleaning the house etc. I also get anxious if I have plans to meet people so feel like I am in a no win situation. I also have terrible trouble sleeping and I am a terrible clock watcher!

The doc said it would take 2 weeks for the anxiety to die down as Citalopram is a slow releasing drug, but surely something would happen by now? I am currently signed off work and due back on Monday, but the way I am feeling at the moment, I am nowhere near ready. However the longer I take off work the harder it is going to be for me to go back. I have quite a long commute on motorways and I dont think I would feel safe driving.

Your advice would be greatly appreciated - feeling like I am going mad somedays.

rebeccad

12-01-10, 10:11

hi i have been taking citalopram now for about 15 weeks, i feel slightly better in the fact im not obsessing about things quite so much, but still waiting for the so called"magic" to happen, i to have read wonderful things about the drug but in all honesty just feel as if it has sort of put a lid on it and its all just simmering inside, i also feel emotionally numb and it is very difficult to cry at things that upset me. I think everybody is different and what works for some doesnt work for others, but my doctor did tell me it can take up to 12 weeks to take its full effect so hang in there im sure you will feel the benefits soon, sorry i couldnt be anymore help.
take care.

80schickx

12-01-10, 10:28

It just feels like it is never ending. I live with my boyfriend and he said that the anxiety I am suffering is making him depressed, as I never want to do anything. He also said for the first time at the weekend that I wasnt doing anything to help myself, but some days it feels so hard when you feel so crap.

I now need to have a shower but the thought of that makes me feel anxious... just hate it!

BunnyMazonas

12-01-10, 11:25

Hi, I understand why you're concerned but please try not to worry too much. Citalopram affects everyone differently and some people feel better more quickly than others. If you find you're still no better you may need a higher dosage, or you may just need more time to let the pills work. It has only been a little over 2 weeks and I know some people have taken 3-4 weeks to feel the benefit.

It might be worth pointing your boyfriend here if he is having trouble understanding. I'm sure we'd all be happy to talk to him about the issues, why you may feel unable to do more than you are right now (I hear you on how hard it can be - facing what you're feeling I feel is very hard), and may be able to help him understand things better. He could also read the articles here and perhaps be better able to support you emotionall as a result.

jackie13

12-01-10, 11:36

Hi there

Sorry to hear that you are not feeling much better on Citalopram.

I have been taking it for a while and it has worked wonders with me. It took longer than 2 weeks though. I went through a whole load of emotions with it, highten anxiety, numbness lack of feeling or emotion, up and down, but then it even itself out and I feel fine, well, at the moment anyhow:)

The thing is that you have to help the Citalopram work and cannot just rely on this, maybe you worrying about it not working is actually making you worse? I perfectly understand it is easier said than done.

Maybe you should try and go back to work on Monday, at least it will take your mind off things.

When I had been off for a while, I made myself go back and was in a state for about an hour when I arrived. I got help from my colleagues and ploughed through the day only to find it was not half as bad as I thought it was.

Good luck xx

Adz84

13-01-10, 10:56

Hello. I am on Citalopram for the second time. I've beaten this once before but It came back; gutted!
The first time round I was given Citalopram and for two weeks I was as bad as you, I also found,that every time my Citalopram was increased, it would also trigger heightened anxiety for up to another week or so, I pushed through and it did go away and after 4 months or so, my panic and anxiety was completely gone!
This time round my doctor prescribed me propranolol (beta-blockers) with my Citalopram, this has made such a difference to me and Is making it a lot easier waiting for the Citalopram to start working. It may be worth looking in to it or talking to your doctor about using them? They have made a massive difference to my life.
Hope you feel better soon :hugs:

sam0603

13-01-10, 17:32

AJS

13-01-10, 17:49

I'm half way into week 5 - First week had really bad side effects, first 2 - 3 weeks was still having panic attacks, week 4 & 5 hardly any panics and very little anxiety.
Doctor also prescribed me propananol - which has help with the racing heart and helps calm me down a bit (taking as and when required)
I went back to work yesterday for the first time in 6 weeks - just doing a phased return - 3 half days this week then building it over the next 3 weeks. Had a little panic attack in work yesterday and felt fairly anxious - then began my "what if's" - last night had a chat with my partner about my fear that i might never be able to work properly again etc etc. but went back today and even went on the crowded train - and felt much better.
So looking back now - citalopram has definitely made such a difference to where I was 6 weeks ago - but it has been a very gradual process and I am hopeful that it can only get better - doc says it can take up to 8 weeks to get full benefit from them.
I am also seeing a stress counsellor which is an added bonus and will hopefully allow me to be able to come off the tablets at some point.
Good luck everyone - it's hard but you gotta stay positive and remember that you can have good days and bad days!
PS - Check out Psychopoets citalopram survival guide - it was a godsend for me :)

sam0603

13-01-10, 20:44

Thanks AJS I shall bear with them and good for you going back to work.

My anxiety is not the racing heart as such but the feeling that I am going to loose control or go mad. I will speak to the doctor tomorrow and see what she says.

I am on the waiting list for a counsellor so fingers crossed this will help. :hugs:

Kieran

13-01-10, 21:27

My advice is to take small steps.

Tell people you can trust exactly how you feel and what is going on. Talking things through is often the best way to make yourself feel better.

Do little things to take your mind of it. Whether it be reading, doing a sudoku or crossword etc. Just anything to focus your brain on something else.

What I found helpful was going on walks. It gets you a bit of exercise as well as getting you out of the house. Make a note of how far you can comfortably go, and then try to get further next time.

This worked for me in conjunction with the medicine, hope it helps you.

sam0603

14-01-10, 08:52

Hi

I am back from the doctors and they have upped my dose to 40mg. I am a bit scared to take them but I feel awful already don't think it will make me feel any worse. I have another sick note for 2 weeks so this will be 6 weeks in total. I feel so bad about having time off but I am no good to anyone like this really.

I think I had about an hours sleep last night. If I could shake the feeling off that I am going mad I think I would be making progress!

Sorry for the rant.

AJS

14-01-10, 17:48

Hi Sam

That's good your doctor has increased your dose - at least that might help - and you can always reduce in the future.

I got the fear of going mad and sense of doom - i thought i was going to end up being admitted!!!! and at the very low points actually thought i would be safer and get more help if i did go into hospital! Do you get the constant churning in the stomach? To help alleviate your fear of going mad you need to learn why your mind/body are doing these things - understanding is the first step to recovering. I am seeing a stress counsellor - but my main understanding has come from the claire weekes cd and a book called understanding panic attacks and overcoming fear by roger baker.

Don't worry about work - there would be no point in you being there - it would be no good for your employer and you would only make yourself worse - I had my first panic attack in october which was followed by recurring panic attacks every day and the constant anxiety - i was off work for a week and went back - struggled every day for 4 weeks and then ended up back off for 6 weeks - you are much better to get yourself sorted and then gradually ease back in. I've just finished day 3 - and it's so far so good.

Just remember you will not be like this forever - people do recover - and the more you learn about what is happening to you the easier it becomes to deal with.

Stay strong :hugs:

sam0603

17-01-10, 18:11

HI AJS

I feel exactly the same as you did. I don't fully understand why my mind and body are doing these things at a time in my life that I have everything I could wish for (apart from winning the lottery lol) and haven't recently been under any stress. I have a nice house, good job, fab friends and a lovely boyfriend who I have only been with for 7 months and am scared I am going to loose him (although he went through something similar when he was younger and kind of understands).

I have my boss and someone from HR coming to see me on Wednesday to see if they can help (am a bit nervous) but you are right there is no point me going back until I am right. I am nervous to see my friends at the moment so I suppose I need to take it one step at a time.

xx

onceagain

17-01-10, 19:50

Hi

Sorry to hear that you are still feeling very anxious. Thought I would try to offer a little reassurance to you, my gp told me that citalopram works relatively quickly on depression but can take up to a couple of months to be very effective on anxiety.

This was the case with me, if you are really not ready for work, I would say go back to your GP there is no point in rushing back only to go off again if it gets too much or speak to your employer about a phased return..

Thinking of you and let us know how you get on.

Take care and hugs

AJS

17-01-10, 19:58

Hey Sam

I was the same - could not understand why it had all happened to me - a good job, nice house, loving long term boyfriend and a beautiful daughter etc. I was probably at my most relaxed when the first big panic attack happened (watching xfactor lying on the couch ). But the book i am reading explains that you should look back over the past 9 months to find out why it happened - and when i did - i had various reasons for it all starting like - ibs, hospital procedures that i found very stressful, stress build up at work (although you don't see it until you look back - i though i could handle it) etc.

Don't worry about your boyfriend - it seems like he would understand - i think when your in the frame of mind like we are you fear the worst - when i was really bad i went to stay with my mum for a week because i was in such a state, and i was worried that my partner would think i was crazy and possibly leave - even though we have a child together - love each other - and have been together for 8 years.Luckily he is supporting and very understanding - and he knows i'm not going mad!!

Work should be fine with you - they will come out and just ask how you are, if there is anything they can do to help you - they may even offer some kind of counselling assistance for free if it's a large company you work for!

It will keep getting better - i'm still having better and worse days - although i'm keeping a diary now and the good days are far more frequent.

Has the increased dose had any effect on you yet?

AJS :)

sam0603

17-01-10, 20:46

Hiya

I am staying at my mum and dads at the moment sometimes my boyfriends. I live alone and seen to go downhill when I am back home for some reason. I think it's cos I get out of routine and just mope. The increased dose isn't having any effect on me as yet but fingers crossed it will. I seem to be suffering a little more but that could be the side effects so I am hopefull. I know it's not a magic pill but a bit of help wouldn't go a miss!

Yeh I work for the NHS so I think they have a few counselling options although I had an initial assessment at a charity counselling service last week.

It's helpful to think about the last 9 months. I did have an MRI scan for migraines about 4 months ago and I think it has possibly stemmed from there as I have claustraphobia and was anxious and panicky about going and had a panic attack whilst in the scanner.

I think I may start to keep a diary too as I have noticed I am better on later in the day. When do you take your tablets? I have been taking mine first thing.

Sharon - thanks for the tip about the tablets taking longer for anxiety. They do phased returns so that could be an option they speak to me about. I know the answer is to get back to some kind of normality but it feels so difficult at the moment.

Take care xx
:hugs:

sam0603

27-01-10, 17:20

Hi Sharon and AJS

How are you both? I have been on the up for the last week but am struggling today.

xx

80schickx

29-01-10, 12:04

Hi All

I have been on 20mg Citalopram since New Years day, and I must say these tablets have been magic for me. It took 3 weeks for them to finally kick in, and I havent had an anxious moment for a week now. I feel the old me is slowly returning.

I am driving long distance again and went back to the office for the first time in a month on Tuesday - it was all low key and no-one made a fuss and it was great, although I was very tired when I got home. Going into the office for 2 days next week and building it up.

For those who have just been prescribed Citalopram I would say the following... Stick with it, and ride out the side effects. Your anxiety may increase to start with but that is a side effect too. There is light at the end of the tunnel and I am proof of that. Good luck everyone xx

Idstain

29-01-10, 12:32

hi everyone, just to reiterate sharons point.

my brother had a full blow "breakdown" about 9 years ago and had to spend a couple of weeks in the psychiatric unit.

It took him about 4 months before he was able to go back to work (on 40mg). Just try your best to be patient.

AJS

31-01-10, 17:27

Sam - not been on for a good few days - you had a bad day the other day - but i'm sure your other days have been better, i'm in my 8th week now and still having the odd bad day, it's so strange that when you have a bad day you think it will never end - you start to wonder if it's all going back the way again - are you getting worse - but actually just like any normal person - we are just having a bad day.
80schickx - Good for you - and i would agree - stick with it, you must feel really good and proud being back and work and driving the long distances. I've been back at work on a phased return and have been travelling on the squashed train - it feels good to have some normality back!
This website has been great - it just reminds you that your not alone - and other people have the same feelings - we are not going mad!
Take care
A x

sam0603

31-01-10, 20:50

Hiya

Yeh I get that feeling when I am having a bad day but once I kind of force myself to get ready and back out there start to feel normal again.

Hopefully going back to work a week on Thursday on a phased return so fingers crossed I won't have a bad day on that day :o)

I have my second session of CBT tomorrow yipeee xx

bellabessnjet

31-01-10, 21:38

Hi,
Just wanted to say i was on Citalopram for a good 6 weeks I then went back to Drs and upped to 40mg. After a tew days did notice small improvement, overall I'd say it took me a good 12 weeks to notice any difference, also I had very bad side effects lost over 1/2 a stone. couldnt eat panic attacks etc.
good luck and remember your drs always there to help
Angela

sam0603

01-02-10, 12:24

Hi Angela

That's reassuring. I was upped to 40mg about 3 weeks ago now but still having quite alot of bad days and the anxiety is nearly always there. Was starting to loose hope again :o(

AJS

02-02-10, 17:55

Hi Sam

Don't lose hope - you must have got somewhat better otherwise you wouldn't be preparing to go back to work.
The tablets take time - and you are just having your second cbt session - this will help once you get into it properly.
Keep going - there's no point in giving up and going backwards - keep moving on!
AJS :)

sam0603

11-02-10, 14:51

Thanks all.

Well I am back in work today, it's my first day. Had a bit of a panic last night after CBT which was a bit odd but I think I was bottling things up a bit. Anyway, I had a bit of cry and then pulled myself together and went to be exercise class as planned. Slept really well last night considering I was dreading today.

I am on a phased return so have been in from 10am and leaving at 3pm. I feel ok but I can feel the panic/anxiety rising and lowering all the time. Is very odd. I didn't expect to feel great on my first day back anyway - why would I when I have been off for 8 weeks?

How things with everyone else?
S

AJS

11-02-10, 20:36

Hi Sam

WELL DONE YOU!!!!:D

The first day back is always the worst - and you did good managing to sleep the night before.

I take it you are feeling a good bit better?

I'm on week 9 of tablets now - still feeling better - but still having the odd bad half hour - or bad day - i feel the panic/anxiety rising as well - it starts with that dread feeling in the tummy and then on the worse days i get the burning hot sensation rising up in my chest - which i usually get when a panic attack starts - the difference is now that I am able to talk myself out by saying "whats the worst that can happen" and "nothing bad will happen" and "I know how to deal with this" - I kind of know what to expect (and have propananol handy in my bag to take - just to make sure that it doesn't end up as a full blown panic attack. I know it's getting better and i can deal with it a bit better but I am still finding it scary when i'm feeling that way.
My stress counselor has left it 2 weeks between appt's this time and I am due to see her on Monday - so will talk to her about it then - i'm also not really sure if she is doing cbt with me - or if it's just some sort of counseling - i'm not sure what the difference is?
Although that sounds bad - i am still nowhere near as bad as i was - i am still managing to work and enjoy my days now - as before i could barely bring myself to go out the house - couldn't eat or sleep or work or laugh and had constant anxiety/sense of doom and recurring panic attacks - so all this said citaolpram is working.

I find that if i'm feeling anxious in work I let the girls at my table know and that makes me feel a bit better - luckily they are very understanding - one of the girls dad's is a long term sufferer of panic disorder - so she really understands - if you are close to any of your colleagues this may help.

Anyway i'm rambling now - good luck for day 2 - you can do it!!!

Let me know how you go.

AJS :)

robbieuno

13-02-10, 00:05

Hi every one, been on citaolpram for 6 weeks now,10g for first 4 weeks then 20g a day for last 2 weeks,dont really feel back to normal far from it but i feel more level,iv been really bad the last year after jacking in a good job in dec 08.worked all last year 09 in new job up untill start of dec but could not carry on and eventually went to see doc in jan of this year 2010.i still worry because i have no motivation and no confidence , all i like doing is trying to sleep to aviod my mental state.i have 3 lovely children and a house but am affraid am going to lose the lot due to my crissis. I am totally ashamed of my self my family deserve better i am sopossed to be strong for them. I cant even be bothered to shower or eat most days which is not me,every thing in life seems to be a major up hill struggle,i dont go out the front door much,i cant speak to my good friend and be my self. I will have to go back to work soon because my savings are running out but to be honest i dont thihk i can,in my state of mind.i thought about ended it but could not leave my little girls and my son,but if i cannot surport them what type of dad is that.please god help me get better.

sam0603

13-02-10, 00:32

Hi Robert

Have you spoke to your doctor about speaking to someone? Like CBT or counselling? Don't worry too much - everyone goes through something like this at some point in their life.

Sam x

AJS

13-02-10, 09:25

Hi Robert
I agree with Sam - you need to seek help asap. make an appointment to see your doctor and you will have to be honest with her - tell her everything. you probably need to speak to someone like a counselor, you may also need to increase your dose of medication.
you obviously have a lot of good things in you life and these should be you motivation - but sometimes it is just not possible to get better on your own - we all need a little help at times.
try some self help books as well - i found that they gave me an insight as to what was happening to me and it took some of the scare out it.
Try small steps - set yourself little goals each day.
No matter if your not well just now - your kids love you and need you.
Take Care
AJS

robbieuno

13-02-10, 12:08

Hi, thanks for the replies at least some one seems to understand me,i have thought about counceling and will mention this to my doc next week.the thing that scares me the most is no motivation and i am a lorry driver big ones,but have trouble driving my wifes little car at present no confidence.like you say my kids do need me and i love them dearly but it hurts me because they deserve better,i am 41 years old and cant handle life,my wife is a good woman but we dont really talk she is busy working like i normally am,up untill this year.its hard for me to comunicate i dont have a good education as you can see in my spelling but hav allways work to surport my family,i allso find my self criticissing every thing and finding fault and the house we live in needs a lot time and money spent on it. I hav took my kids on hol over the years abroad 3 times and camping alot in kent so i have tried to give them a good child hood to remember,but life is so fast and exspensive i have trouble keeping up.i do realise you have to work hard believe me i have. But life is so unfair i do not like the way society is these days.no one seems to care about any one.thats what man kind as done to your selfs.when im well none of this bothers me i just carry on trying to support my family like i should.had a good sleep last night but woke up with headache, so took some tablets and my cit tab.i will try and be strong but cant really see a future at the moment,thanks for listening reguards robert

lizzie29

13-02-10, 12:53

Hi Robert

You seem really worried about letting your family down and not supporting them, but I think the fact that you are worrying about this shows you're a good parent. You care about them, you said you took them on holidays... being there for them and providing a loving, caring environment is what's important. If money is causing problems now, there are lots of cheap things that you could do with your family that are just as good. I appreciate what you say, and it's hard when kids want all the latest games consoles etc like their friends, but there are far more important things. You sound like a good, honest, decent person, who's going through a rough time like the rest of us. Remember you're not alone, we're all here to help, and I think the best thing you can do is go to your doc and get counselling or CBT. Try not to be so hard on yourself, things will get better, it just takes time. If you can't go back to lorry driving, is there something else you could do which you'd find easier but would ease your money troubles?