Home Alone

[Beezlee]

Hello everyone,

I feel really out of control at the moment with so many irrational thoughts.

For a long time being at home was the only place I felt safe from my anxiety and reasonably relaxed but now it seems the tables have turned and my OCD/Anxiety is making me feel terrible when I'm in the house alone.

It started in my old place, the Landlord was a bit slack with maintenence and the Boiler was really old. After reading something online about CO2? poisoning I started to worry and scare myself and have this fear coming back frequently.

Next thing was planes, we lived close to and airport and currently an RAF base and every time a plane flies past I get distressed and really believe it will hit the house, especially the fighter jets. It seems silly when I read that back to myself but It feels very real when it's happening.

And just yesterday my partner mentioned a story about a hot water tank exploding because of frozen pipes and now that's become a major concern.

My brain seems to latch on to anything horrific and unlikely and then turns it into something that seems inevitable.

This has been going on for months now and I'm sick of worrying about dying in my own house and being unable to relax like I used too and wondering if maybe I should get on some medication for this.:unsure:

[BunnyMazonas]

I am so sorry you're feeling like this. I know whenever I am feeling bad with anxiety/panic I think all sorts of things that seem irrational later. But know that doesn't make the fear go away, nor does it make what you feel any less real. Just remember that whatever you are feeling will pass. If you find yourself feeling anxious about the boiler, or the water tank, or planes, remember the last time you felt that and remember that the feeling passed and what you were afraid of did not happen. Remember that it is a horrible feeling but it will pass and you will still be here when the feeling is gone.

I use a grounding technique my therapist taught me when I feel an episode coming on. Slowly look around at everything around you, especially in your home if you have a room you feel especially comfortable in go there. Look at the walls. Think what colour they are, are they painted or wallpapered. Is there carpet? List the furniture and look at each item as you do it. "The walls are beige. They are painted. There is a cream carpet on the floor. The curtains are green. There are three vases on the shelf in the corner. Clock. Table. Chair. Book..." It sounds silly but it does help - keeps you in the here and now and helps to occupy your thoughts.

If you are feeling like this a lot I would recommend seeking help, whether that includes meds or not. I'm on citalopram and, albeit the side effects can be a pain in the butt, I feel emotionally much better most of the time - I still get anxiety attacks, but every day gets better and better.

[Beezlee]

Thanks Bunny,

I will try the grounding technique you suggested as I think a big part of the problem is feeling trapped in my head and not noticing the reality of what's around me.

I have tried recalling the past thoughts and often think what a waste of energy it all was as nothing happened but in some strange way holding on to the thoughts feels safer sometimes. Almost like trying to twist fate with the thought that if I expect these things then it makes them more unlikely as it's always the unexpected that seems to happen. Not true I know but just the way my brain seems to work sometimes.

I have taken Citalopram before so I understand some of the positives and negatives but as I'm not making much progress on my own right now this might be the way to go.