View Full Version : starting work on 25th jan!!
and im not too sure how to feel to be honest!!
i have not worked for years due to anxiety and also having children.
i got the job in november went for the interview which lasted an hour and was interviewed by 2 staff members :ohmy:
i will be a home carer. its something i have always wanted to do.
i actually was supposed to start a job like this few months back (with another company) but because my anxiety got the better of me i never went :weep:
i will be working an average of 20 hours a week in the evenings and alternate weekends. my hubby was laid off few months ago so he will be here with our 4 children.
it will involve lots of training and i will also have to go out with a member of staff for 2 weeks to get the jist of the job etc and even this i am scared of! i keep thinking to myself what if i totally freak out in front of this person i have to go with and have to run to my car etc god i really do hate these negative thoughts :weep:
the past few weeks i have not felt too bad but i always go through this......feel good 1 min then bang the panic and anxiety will kick in and last days/weeks on end.
i even struggle doing the school run so am thinking how the hell will i manage to keep this job up.
i have to go into the office next week to see their company gp (everyone has to see her) have been told it will only last about 15mins but am really scared and worried for some odd reason. think im worried she will pick up 'i dont seem right/normal'
its really getting me down.
i want to do this job but on the other hand i dont know if and how i will cope:(
any words of advice please? x
well first things first - WELL DONE FOR GETTING A JOB
You will be FINE - they must think a lot about you in the first place
BRILLIANT - GO SHOW THEM WHAT YOU ARE MADE OF
mike
you sound a bit like me,i started a new job in nov and actually it gives you something else to think about,i have a few blips but at work okk its when i get home it can hit me if get over tired or stressed,im a bit iffy at mo with school runs especially since bad weather get a bit panicky about being on my own in traffic jam coz traffic often bumber to bumber but otherwise i thinking it will be the saving of you :hugs:
margaret jones
13-01-10, 22:33
Please give it a try i am sure all new staff are nervous if you feel the need tell the GP that you have to see that you suffer from some anxiety ,think of all the positive things that you will achieve and focus on them not the negatives ( easier said than done i know )
Please Take Care Margaret:D
andrea thompson
13-01-10, 22:36
hiya mummy4
you say you really want to do this job and i think you will be fine.... just keep reminding yourself that this is for you... its what you want and your not going to let this anxiety get the better of you!!!!
i have just gone back to work two weeks ago after being on the sick and if i feel a bit wobbly i tell everyone not feeling to clever today so if i freak dont be alarmed and i actually feel better for telling people how i feel!!!
i am the same as one of your previous replies. i seem to keep the anxiety at bay during work but then get a bit stressed when home... i am just trying to really take things easy... dont take too much on and get plenty of rest.
you will be fine at your new job hon - dont worry about it... if it doesnt work out at least you will have tried..... but you will be fine.... mums are strong!!! oh and by the way.... i struggle with the school runs now and again.... deap breaths... stay focused.... get back to the safety of the car.... horrible isnt it....???? but we do it and we get through it.... some how!!!!
good luck, take care
andrea x x
Oh well done you,
This is my line of work, i work with the elderly, please be assured that so many elderly people suffer there own anxieties, all my old dears know what i suffer with and if anything it is a great comfort for them, as they know i understand exactly how they feel.
Please, hold it out, this is such a rewarding and lovely job to do and once you get to know them and them you, you will never look back.
And wow! you got through the interview, believe me, if you got through that, you can get through anything.
I for one am so proud of you.
Do keep us informed on how it goes.
best wishes
di xx
thanks everyone!
im sure it will be such a rewarding job for me its just the making that step to go xx
Hi.Well done to you. I just wanted to remind you that YOU were specially chosen for this job because they saw desirable qualities in you that they DIDN'T see in somebody else! What a compliment to you that they have confidence in you!Take the compliment because they obviously liked you to start with and want you as part of their team. Remember this when you enter on your first day coz theres no way they would give such a caring job as this to anybody now would they? N dont forget, you will be learning to start with and "he who makes no mistakes does no work!"Just say you are a little nervous n I bet they will admit they were too on their first day.All the best of luck to you and I really hope you enjoy it. Take care.:hugs:
You are already thinking the "what if's....?", but more than likely it'll be nothing like you think it's going to be! We always look at the worst possible scenario and it usually never is. You'll start your job, I bet, and be so interested and occupied that you'll not give a thought to your anxiety most of the time. A few of my friends are carers and absolutely love it. Your employers obviously think you will suit the job so be proud of yourself. Don't be so hard on yourself. Just go out there and do it and remember, it may turn your life around for the better. Good luck.
Myra:hugs:
well today i went to see the company nurse and all went well. was there for half hour altogether. told her the truth....i am on meds for anxiety etc and she actually said its no wonder i feel anxious stuck in doors most of the time with 4 kids!!! she said i may even feel so good in 6 months time what with work etc and i may even be able to come off the meds and even the thought of that fills me with hope!!
just really hope i can be brave and go on monday!!! im not out working on monday i have to go to the office for few hours induction then 2-4 for training. i will be out with another carer on tuesday evening! x
margaret jones
18-01-10, 18:49
well done look at you ! go for it you will be fine , and people need someone like you to care for them , it shows you are a caring person because you must be to look after 4 children . You will make a good carer i am sure Please let us know how it goes Take Care Margaret xxx
thank you so much margret and everyone else means loads :D xx
getting worried about mon now!!
After a few days you will look back and smile. You will ask yourself 'what was i worried about??'
This new job will help you so much, go for it girl.....we all need to keep busy.
When i started at my current job, 5 years ago, i had to go out with two other guys. I freaked in the van as i was sat in the middle of the three of us. I hated it. I got out. i threw up. And ran off !!!!
The anxiety nearly beat me.
I went and fetched my car and drove out to meet them and blamed a stomach bug.
now all is well, i have been there years and it keeps me together.
Dont worry about what will happen, go with it.....what ever happens it will be a positive i am sure. x
Going home
23-01-10, 22:07
Don't forget that even people who don't suffer with anxiety feel like this when they start anything new...its a normal feeling. You've got through everything up til now and done great, and the first day in a new job is scary, even for 'normal' people. Just get through your first day in the office, then the first evening at work and you'll feel loads better i'm sure. Ive just applied for a job in a medical centre (I was a medical secretary before i became ill) and if im succesful, the thought of going back to work after 2 years is a mix of excitement and dread, but Ive put that down to a normal reaction that anyone would get.
Allow yourself to be anxious about it and realise that its a normal reaction, but don't let it stop you after all your hard work to get it.
Good luck on monday
GH xxx
ah thanks gh!!
i am excited in a way but very very nervous too. just think im worried in case i faint for some reason or i run off in a panic. im having a very heavy period atm too which does not help (sorry if tmi!!)
just want tomorrow over and done with xx
Going home
24-01-10, 20:53
Remember too that if you feel you really can't go through with it then don't make yourself ill and force it. If you're not ready for it yet then accept that too, and try again when you are. Getting through interviews is a big enough step forward and one day you will have the courage to start a job without feeling so bad.
Whatever your decision, best wishes
GH xx
fazman3000
25-01-10, 03:37
by the time you read this, you wil have done your first day at work but I honestly reckon you'll be fine.
I'm not back at work for another couple of weeks, but I'm dying to start again.. My anx only acts up when I'm not working. Second I'm back in it I'm fine. I have a VERY full on job with a hell of a lot of responsibility and when I'm on the go my anx doesnt have time to get in the way.
I'm sure you'll completely forget your problems once you get there.
Congrats x
butterfly1
25-01-10, 07:56
Good luck for your first day back at work!!! you will be fine and so busy you will forget about your anxiety.... without my job i would have lost the plot by now!!!!Have a good day:) Butterfly1 x
Hi Mummy4
Just to say I hope you had a great first day at work.
Lisa
hey all
just to update you all...............I MADE IT YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!! lol!!!!
got to the office just before 10am to go through my induction was with the boss 2 hours and 15 mins!!!!! just her and i. must admit felt a little panicky but just tried not to fight it and it soon passed and was pleased as i only went to the toilet once lol!! (i like to know i have somewhere i can 'escape' and today i planned for that to be the toilet lol)
i came home for lunch and was back at the office at 230-5 to start my first training programme (got loads more to do over the next 3 months some lasting 4 hours) this time it was me and 3 others with a 'teacher' going through everything. even had to do a little test at the end!!!!
tomorrow will be my first evening actually out working and i am a little nervous but funnily enough i will be working with a lovely lady i knew few years back so its worked out well!!
i am totally exhausted this evening and feeling a little spaced out for some unknown reason.
thanks so much for all your time and effort in replying to me it really has ment a lot to me :) :)
just hope i can stick at it and keep going
xxx
Fabulous news, i have waited all day to hear you say that, i knew you could do it.
A huge well done hun, you should feel very proud of yourself:yesyes:
di xx
Well done! I'm so pleased for you. What a promising start! Have a good day tomorrow.
Myra:hugs:
Well done mummy!! I bet you feel great!!!
This is a new beginning for you :)
Hope it goes well!!!
Cat :)
margaret jones
25-01-10, 21:47
Well done I knew you could do it have a good even tomorrow x:)
Hey well done. It makes me more determined to go back to work soon, I'm sure my bum is glued to the sofa, I just keep putting it off. :ohmy:
Really pleased for you. :yesyes:
oh i am gutted!!
met the woman i was working with at first client and even left my car there and spent the evening in her car which is good for me lol.
anyway i totally hated it :( suprisingly i did not panic i just really did not like the job one little bit and im gutted about it. went to 8 clients and out of the 8 there was only 1 who i did not heave about i feel so awful saying that but i cant help the way i felt :( really sad now
hi mummy4. First I want to congratulate you on how far you have got. You have my total respect!Brilliant. Secondly, what is it you hate about the job? Is it something you could get used to?
I think being a home carer to start with would be a bit of a shock to the system. It can be quite shocking and depressing just to see how some people are living. Sometimes we don't realise what's going on behind closed doors. Is this what's making you feel bad? Do you think you'll get used to it through time? I have friends who are home carers, who were in jobs far removed from this originally, and they love it. Yes, they say it can be heartbreaking, but it is very rewarding. It won't suit everyone, but only you know if you are really cut out for it. Don't beat yourself up if you are not though.
Myra:hugs:
well one house we went to there was an old lady that had not moved out her chair for 3 weeks solid and was covered in poo and wee and blood from constant scratching and the smell was untolerable (sp) and she told me co worker to f off i had to stand by the front door and was very close to being sick was just the awful smell :(
on a plus side there were also some very nice people who we went to see :) if only a lot of them were like this the job would be fine.
i just really dont think i can do another shift.
i feel bad saying that as obviously these people are needy but i just dont think this job is for me and i cant ever see myself ever getting used to it.
admittedly i also seen some sad situations but this is not the reason why i dont think i can do the job its because of the smells etc x
Hi
Firstly well done in getting as far as you have. You should be proud of yourself.I dont think you should beat yourself up about it all if you find the job is not for you. We never know until we have tried. Home Caring is not the only type of work out there.
I know from my own experiences with my late parents and all the times I spent visiting them on the old peoples wards in hospitals, what state old people can be in at times.and the smells, the incontinence, the leg ulcers, not to mention how nasty some old people can get, but, as with my own parents behaviour which did change a lot - my mum became very nasty - it is not their fault, and is usually due to how unwell they are, sometimes after strokes and with alzheimers etc.
I sometimes used to be nearly sick when visiting my parents at times because of the state they could be in - I won't go into details but you can guess - and the smells in their house, (they refused home help mostly) - they were very proud people and did not like any help at all - but I kept reminding myself they were ill, they didn't use to be like it and that they were young once, clean and smart and all the rest. I told myself that well this could be how I am going to be when I am elderly
My mum always used to say 'the day I have to have anyone help me with my toileting is the day I want to be dead' - however as she became senile and suffered damage to her brain through strokes, she didnt even know anything about it in the end and had to have help. She had been the smartest, cleanest, house proud lady there was when she was a few years younger.
I kind of got used to the smells in the old peoples wards eventually and I think a lot of nurses and carers do. If they didn't then no one would be helping look after the elderly.
I think it must be a very rewarding and interesting job getting to know the elderly and finding out what they did when they were younger, and all about their lives, but obviously not everyone can or wants to do that type of work, but that is the same with all types of work. The rewarding side of it must be so worthwhile, even though there are bound to be the down sides. Home Carers should certainly be paid more for what they do!
It is very early days for you yet - could you maybe give it a little longer so that at least if you find it is not for you then at least you can say you gave it a chance. I think you are doing well in getting as far as you have & I admire you for at least giving it a go!
Hugs to you :hugs:
thank you very much poppy and im so sorry to hear about what happened to your parents its very very sad :( much be especially heart breaking for the family.
like you said theres going to be good sides and down sides and i did meet some lovely ladies and men very chatty and generally lovely etc (im not implying the ladys house that smelt that she was not a lovely person i just could not stand the smell)
i have just phoned the office and explained i had good evening apart from this one house and she advised some vics vapour rub under the nose just before entering her house so good tip there lol. i got my rota for tomorrow evening and am working 7am til 2pm this weekend too. think i may give it til sunday then see how im feeling xx
I don't think anyone could go into that type of job without being bothered by smells. It is something you would have to get used to. The vicks thing sounds good, I've heard of it before. I'd do a few more shifts and see how you get on. You never know, you may end up loving it.
Myra:hugs:
i have made my decision and im not going to carry on with the job. few reasons really 1 because i really did hate it the other night 2 because my diary is packed with training courses for this job for the next 3 months solid (sometimes i will be training in office from 9-5 then working 5-10) and 3 my children have been crying this morning because they dont want me going tonight or ever again. obviously some day i will have to work but maybe now was just not the right time :(
have not phoned office yet, will do in a min
Hi again
I think you have done really well - firstly in applying,getting through the interview and getting the job, and secondly in giving it a try. If it is not for you, then don't be too hard on yourself.
At least you gave it a try. I think you should be proud of yourself for getting the job, even if you have decided not to continue with it.
I know work is important, but if your children are getting upset over you not being there, then they do come first, I feel. Being a mum to 4 children must be hard work in itself !
Maybe you can find a more suitable job for you, with hours to suit, at some point, and maybe one day when your children are older you may feel like giving Home Care another go.
I think you have done well ! :hugs:
thank you very much poppy your comment has made me smile as im sat here feeling a slight failure and being too hard of myself so thank you x
Hi mummy4. Just wanted to send you my good wishes. I wouldn't even have contemplated a job like that and I'm always amazed by people that have the 'nose' for it. How on earth do they do it? Don't beat yourself up about it though, something else will come along that you will enjoy I'm sure. The thing is that you have made a positive step in getting the job in the first place. That is what is brilliant about it all!Focus on the positives.Gee, wish I could take my own advice! Here's to the future!.:D
Mummy4,
You have done amazingly well to get where you got, don't be hard on yourself, you haven't decided not to do it because of anx or panic, you just don't feel its the right job for you, that is an amazing achievement alone, the fact that you didn't panic.
Home caring is a difficult job, i've been doing it long enough to know, however, if you do decide to ever go back into it, remember this, the only way to deal with certain smells is to breathe through your mouth and not your nose.
You have given people encouragement to go back to work and proved that it can be done, if i were you i'd be walking round with my head held high!:yesyes:
di xx
You are quite right, there's no point in creating more stress if you aren't happy. I'm sure something else will come along. At least you tried it and should be proud of yourself.
Myra:hugs:
I third, forth and fifth that!:D
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