nervous breakdown

[kimmy]

when im stressed or angry, (i know the adrenelin kicks in) my thaughts always turn to what if, what if i lose it, i get so stressed. and think the worst, i think about having a nervous breakdown, losing control or something.

i know its unreasonable but i can relate to in my lifetime somebody just losing it and someone leaving me, not through a breakdown but leaving me (thats my biggest fear, having to leave my kids, how they would feel)

i know all of this, but i wonder how i can change these thoughts, i do say affirmations and i do try to change the way i think but its when i get stressed and i do the old body check vision, hearing, hands shaking, breathing and i feeling dizzy etc.

[Meg]

kimmy

When we feel so overwhelmed that we don't really understand what is going on within us - we start to try to label ourselves and as we don't know any different, we start to use breakdown and madness as words we do understand and have seen on tv and in movies but the reality is that even when we are stressed and hyper emotional we do not break and dissolve into madness as much as we feel that a change is imminent - anxiety doesn't follow that disease process and as humans we are very resilient more than we often give ourselves credit for.



Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[taf]

Hi, Kimmy--
Your comments below were very telling since I can relate....lost my dad as a child from a heart attack suddenly, and my mom a couple years ago. First hubby passed away too, and I never really dealt with these feelings of fear or abandonment until I started examing this whole panic attack thing of mine.... And, you helped me understand myself better by reading your post!!! Because someone left you, your mind catalogues that loss deep within its recesses, and triggers a feeling of "I am going to lose it and not be here for my kiddies" fear...thus the ugly head of panic rears. I am NO expert, but I think realizing the effect that losses I have had and how they have affected my thought pattern, triggering, in my opinion, panic and/or anxiety, came to mind when I read your post.
****i know its unreasonable but i can relate to in my lifetime somebody just losing it and someone leaving me, not through a breakdown but leaving me (thats my biggest fear, having to leave my kids, how they would feel)****
But history does not repeat itself.
How you are affected by by that loss of someone you mentioned above might be exacerbating these fearful thoughts? And....if you were going to break mentally, it would have happened. You're strong. You have the resources to cope. It is only a thought, and thoughts won't hurt you...but the end results of these thoughts can sure cause a painful panic response. Believe me, I understand what you are going thru, and it is NO FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I certainly don't claim to have the answers!...but... Could CBT or talking out that fear/journaling it/even telling it to a pet break that fear cycle and help you verbalize the very thing that is bugging you?
I'll bet you are in a "helping profession" as well...i.e., doc./nurse/teacher?? Do you feel like you always have to be strong for your job? That can add mental stress to these steamrolling thoughts too. ...Like...who is going to help these students, patients, etc., if I break?, etc. But you know what? We are all very very strong, we humans. You will overcome it![8D]
EFT, (see their website, and postings from some folks on this site (theo, i think the name was) who have gotten help from this self-help technique.
Gosh, I don't know the answers, and am sure working thru this anxiety and panic thing too....Hope my words have given you some comfort. I know I learned from your insights too!! That's why we all help each other, isn't it!
Happy holidays! Taf
[^]

[taf]

PS: I love Meg's explanation above!!! That is so helpful to see it in those terms!!! Our minds are always trying to sort and classify what we know from our frame of reference, and not accurately in the panic response, i agree! It is truly truly truly so comforting to see her words on the "path of anxiety" not equating to madness or anything of the sort. What sensible words! Sooooo helpful!!! Gosh we are lucky to have this site![8D]Taf

[Piglet]

Megs so right Kimmy and that is reassuring for us all.

I had my first bout of panic 6 years ago and what made it spiral more and more was I thought I would be seen as an unfit mother and my kids would be taken away from me (they are my life).

I now see anxiety can only be provoked by us providing it with ammunition. Obviously we concentrate on what would be the most frightening scenario for us, it is this which feeds the anxiety but we need to remember it is only thoughts and not a true assesment - what human alive thinks rationally when panicking, if they were to think rationally then they wouldn't be panicking would they?

Love Piglet xx

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[kimmy]

well thank you both so very very much.
meg, you always make sence but i always seem to want to know the same answers (sorry)
Taf you are so right, my mum left myself and my sister when we were young so she could go follow her career, it was hell living with them. i was only young but i know my sister didnt take it well, i remember being young and it was my birthday and my sister slapped me because i shouldnt be celebrating because my mum wasnt here, i was only about 8 i think. that hurt me more than my mum but made me realise at a young age it wasnt right.

my life has always been thrown upside down by something, even from when i was very young, i dont really know my dad but when i have seen him hes walked out as quick as he walked in. I see him very recently at a park, i was there with my family. He walked past me with out any acknowlegement with his new partner whos the same agae as me and her children who were younger than mine! i didnt feel hurt i dont think but more frustrated that he could not look at me or my kids.

The next feeling of sheer pain, relating to my biggest fear was a few years ago a friend at the time was babysitting for my friends 6month old baby. He killed him that day, no-body knows why but he beat him to death. He truly to this day dont know he did it! I believe he just blacked it all out.


I know cases like this are extream but the pain i flet was overwhelming as you know it would any decent human being. It just scared me so much that i thought if he could, any body could. The thought has always stuck with me.

I know this message is rambling but i could go on all day.

Thank you so much i really appreciate it.

Taff could you please tell me what the EFT website is, i would really love to have a look.

oh yes i do work in a caring profession. I work as a youth worker and a learning support in a college! spooky

[taf]

Here is some EFT info from the web, with a web address attached..........
It is a "non evasive" approach, so to speak, and has been helpful for me. Combining all available therapy modalities would be beneficial...such as supporting with CBT, etc., but in my case right now, CBT is expensive out here in the states, with office visits being comparable to specialists visits...(the US, in my opinion, is woefully behind EU in emotional health care...sad) and CBT visits in my region are either not covered at all, or not fully covered by insurance, either, so this self help technique has been empowering for me...also helped me verbalize things I did not know even "bugged" me, and feeling I am taking an active approach to remodeling thinking about such issues, lending an important factor of control over my environment. We all control our outcomes, and this has helped me sense that....I am very sorry about your terrible experiences! Try to remember they are not telling or predictive of your outcomes in any way...Anyone, sadly for collective humanity, could find a terrible person who does terrible things to kiddies and helpless little babies, how heinous!!, but that is not predictive of our own reality...one will never know what life circumstances, possible narcotic use, possible past damage, draws people to do terrible things, but again, their reality need not ever be ours, nor will it be. We are all individuals, but I am terribly sorry for those wounding experiences you have suffered. But...it creates in you a frame of reference to help and reach kiddies who might never be reached albeit by yourself, and you could perhaps unknowingly save their lives, and your legacy is so valuable in ways you will never know because of your understanding derived by a painful past.
..Best, and remember, thoughts are only thoughts. Nothing more. They are not predictors of how our lives will become.:D Best........Love,..Taf

:DLink info: Emotional Freedom Technique how-to by Dr. Joseph Mercola. ... Traditional EFT has you tapping with the fingertips of your index finger and middle finger and ...
www.mercola.com/forms/eftcourse2.htm ....