My first talk with nurse and councillor

[Redrainbow]

Well Today i have had my first meet with my nurse and councillor about my condition. They say i have severe depression and anxiety and are getting the doctor to alter (up) my medication, and also prescribe sleeping pills for me too. Well people i hated it walking into that place for the first time today and talking face to face about whats going on to me inside, but i think it has helped as i feel a little better today, like when i talk with lots of my new friends on here now, Gypsywomen, Donna, Matt 24/7 to name but a few. I had to go today not just for myself but for my wife and three children because it can't be much fun living with me at the minute and i know it puts on my wife a lot. I have to tell you if any of you are worried about first going don't be it's not as bad as you would think and once you start to open up it feels much better inside. This is only the first time, i have a long way to go yet but today as helped me. I had a women nurse and she was very understanding and listened to me. I was a little worried i might be leaving there in a straight jacket today, but all in all it is a start for me, and without the nice people i have met on here i might not have got there, so thanks to my friends on here you know who you are,
Thankyou from Wayne, Redrainbow,
And one last thing if any of you are worried about your first visit, Don't be.:yesyes:

[Alicat]

That sounds really positive Wayne! I'm pleased for you and well done for opening up and being honest!
Counselling has helped me so much over the years.
I hope it continues to go so well!

[smudger]

Well done to you. I have depression. My first counseling session was 10 days before Christmas and I felt so self conscious walking in. I'm sure everybody on the street must have been looking at me thinking "look at her, going into the loony bin!". I still feel a little self conscious but I try to give a positive smile when I walk into the waiting room because it makes me feel 'normal' rather than looking dreadfully depressed n a sad case!Sorry, but thats how I feel I look!Its getting easier as time goes on and like you if it benefits my family and I then its worth that initial discomfort. Still hate the words Mental Health Facility though! Makes us sound like loonies! I wish you happier times ahead.:)

[suzy-sue]

Well done Wayne :hugs:That was one of the hardest steps . Im pleased you felt good about it after ..Keep taking those steps ..one step at a time ...your on your way .You deserve to feel pleased ,Today was a good one for you ...Luv Sue x

[Redrainbow]

Yes i stayed awake most of the night last night recounting the days events, i feel down again today but that's the way it goes. When i first walked into the psyclogical therapies centre yesterday i expected to see all kinds of weird people, but no it was just all normal people who seemed to be in the waiting room with me. The stigma of it all is a little bad, you feel like your a nutter and everyone is watching you go through the door. I'm still pleased i went, because without it i can't see anyway forwards, just darkness. The questions are a bit personal (some of them) anyway i didn't mind. Once i opened up it got easier, and i spoke about my innermost feelings which was scary. The diagnosis was worse than what i thought (severe in both cases) but at least now i know and can hopefully get the right help and treatment and get better sometime in the future. I'm pleased i had a female nurse as i feel much more comfortable talking to females than males (dont know why this is). My next appointment is in two weeks, i'm not looking forward to it but then i'm not dreading it as much either, besides i have no choice i must go, if not i will just get worse and i don't want to feel worse than what i do now! Hopeless and alone.

[smudger]

I so completely understand what you are saying. Somebody on this forum (my apologies I forget who) suggested I think of 'mental health' as 'brain health' instead. If your bone is broken then you try n fix it, same goes with the mind! Please keep going because it will start to help, it is starting to help me. Im learning loads about myself and how to accept that not every day will always be a good day, its just that my bad days at the moment are tougher than the average jo bloggs! Getting medication right and learning coping mechanisms are stages to getting better. Its the best investment of your time you will make in a long time! Good luck to you and your family and a happy future together.:hugs:

[Redrainbow]

Thanks for that Smudger, i know what you are saying, they explained it to me similary yeasterday, that part of my brain does not work properly. I don't know how many of you will agree with me but i think emotional problems are worse than many physical one's in some respects, but that's just probably down to this illness, i don't know. Depression and anxiety seem to change you so much inside and also the way you think and behave too. It's almost like a complete transformation into hell itself! Do any of you agree with me, or is it just because of the way i think at the minute?

[maybeoneday]

hi
i totally agree with you anxiety and depression are the most worst illness, i have always said to anyone that if they said they could cut off my arm or leg and this would all go away i would be in that operating theatre asap, no disrepect to anyone with this but this is how i feel.

[smudger]

Maybeoneday, when I'm at my worst I feel like depression is worse than a physical illness but in broad daylight when I'm having a good day, and having myself had appendicitis, pneumonia, three rounds of IVF, a twin miscarriage, ovarian hyperstimulation, anaphylactic shock and other medical issues (gee bet you think I'm a mess!)I would say that any illness physical or mental deserves the same respect. I wouldn't trade any of these illnesses. I couldn't. At the time, each seemed like the worse thing I'd ever had!

Trouble is, people who haven't had depression have no idea of its all consuming intensity. It seems to envelope us entirely! Its such a selfish illogical illness don't you think? Its a bit like when people say they cant work, they have a bad back, often others think they are swinging the lead so to speak because they can't actually SEE the pain to appreciate it. Same with depression!Its surprised me recently that some really famous celebrities suffer with depression, notably one of my favourites, Stephen Fry who has bi polar. Recently Bill Oddy and famously Spike Milligan, oh and the red haired girl in Eastenders Patsy Palmer! They too have had and some still do suffer. Its good to know that we are not alone and I have to say I'm inspired that they have publicly announced their illness to help others.I have to admire them for this. Must have made recovery much harder?

[Alicat]

I agree with you Wayne. Whenever I'm suffering from anxiety or depression, I tend to get physically ill too.