Rock bottom - convinced i have a brain tumor . PLEASE HELP

[Andromeda]

tonight i have hit the bottom .

my anxiety is now constant 24/7 . it doesn't stop .
and this fear of something terrible about to happen is literally ruining my life .

i can't actually remember the last time i relaxed and enjoyed myself - without any fears or worry .

my family watch me as i sit there , trembling , checking my pulse every minute and keep saying to me 'you're fine'
but it's got to the point now where my mum is telling me 'you are fine . you don't have a brain tumor , you need to listen and accept it'

but the whole point is i CAN'T , if i could then i wouldn't have a problem !!!!

i'm starting to really effect them now , my constant negativity is bring the whole house down . i can feel it . i'm stressed all the time which naturally rubs off on them - if i had to watch someone i loved cry hysterically every day about the fact they were convinced they were going to die it would drain the hell out of me too !!

i have these horrible sharp pains in my head ! they've been on and off for ages now . i get a sharp pain when i move my head a certain way or cough !
my vision is seriously out of whack too ! i see flashes all the time , blurred vision all the time , doble vision . i feel like my eyes are going to roll into the back of my head !
my speech goes all funny sometimes like i can't get my words out ! i'm constantly off balance .

when i am sitting or lying down i get a horrible falling sensation - like someone is pulling me back !!!! this makes me feel like i'm about to black out or collapse .

i get strange sensations in my head like i'm about to become unconcious !

i get numbness in my left hand . so basically i have now come to the conclusion that i have a brain tumor !

i have suffered with migraines all my life but they went away when i went into my late teens , they came back just before i developed my anxiety .

i havent had a scan or anything because i'm terrified !!!!!

all i keep thinking is what if i really do have one :weep:

i'm going to have to go back to the doctors on monday because my thoughts have completely spiraled out of control over the past weeks considering i thought i was getting over this before !

i just keep thinking i'm about to die - at any moment !!! it won't go away and now i think i'm going crazy ! i don't want a life like this anymore .

[KK77]

I had a lot of the symptoms you're getting. I had loads of tests but everything was normal. I think it's a combination of migraine symptoms and anxiety. Both can affect vision, balance, heart rate and cause all sorts of weird sensations like numbness and tingling.

I think you should see your GP because you're having a real bad time and you don't want to go on feeling like this.

I really don't think it's a brain tumor - it's just your anxiety tormenting you - but you can get better with cognitive therapy, counselling and medication.

[rozie]

Really sympathise Andromeda.

All I can tell you by way of comfort is that I have been there ..where you are and I came through it. I gave myself shooting pains in my head and it turned out to be because I was clenching my teeth so much . My whole jaw was in spasm and I didn't even realise.

The constant checking the pulse and monitoring the breathing..been there. Many of us have and we have survived.

I can assure you that the likelihood of you wearing yourself out with the stress of all this is much higher than any likelihood that you might have any real medical condition.

Sending you my very best.

Rozie
xx

[rozie]

Also.. the eye thing is very possibly a little touch of a migraine aura. Nothing more and nothing less.

[daisycake]

Hi, first of all - wow, that's exactly the way I feel, Not symptom wise - although I assure you mine are also wonderfully weird! :blush: - but as you say, you never feel relaed etc, neither do I! Well done for making the appt with the doctor, that's the first step. I'm off too, on Monday as well, to ask for some support and also to check I haven't got CA of the lymph nodes, CA of the skin, and also a brain tumour or something :blush: I assure you though, and I know deep down, that it really probably is most likely anxiety symptoms.


These illnesses are really rare - when you get a headache or feel a bit weird - there are thousands of possibilites. You might have an ear infection, a sinus infection, or you might simply be a bit tired, or stressed. It's highly unlikely that it would be a brain tumour or something like that. Thought I should maybe add that I had those shooting pains - turned out to be a combination of stress, chocolate and TMJ (clenching your jaw/gritting your teeth)! I do that all the time- 99% without even noticing..

Anxiety has an awful effect in that the more anxious you get, the more ill you feel! Thus, if you have a tension headache - or whatever; like a fast heart rate (been there, done that!!) worrying over it will just make it seem worse.


I know, it's really difficult, and I feel a bit of a div writing this as I too have the same feelings, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel - and hopefully we'll both get there eh!!

It's difficult with family too, as they want to support you but get stressy over it too. I know my mum does anyway - which can lead to lots of arguments when I come home from Uni :blush:


Try to relax, get an early night, a nice long bath, read a good book, watch a good film, phone a friend - pamper yourself :). Even silly things like counting backwards, saying the alphabet backwards, counting all the red objects in the room can help when you're panicing.


Anyway, I've rambled enough :D I hope everything goes alright with the doctor, let me know how you get on; you can beat this :D:yesyes:

Linda xx

[maz67]

Please try not to worry. I have had a brain tumour which was found when i had a seizure back in 2007. I never experienced any of your symptoms, only the seizure because of the pressure that had built up in my head due to the tumour being so big !!!
After i had the op in 2008, that is when my anxiety started and then i started to have some of your symptoms, blurred vision, dizzyness all due to the panic of thinking it would grow back and the thought of having another seizure, but i have learnt to control it now and the symptoms have gone away, thanks to this wonderful site.
Also 2 clear scans since so i try not to worry anymore. Try to distract yourself from these feelings then you will notice they will disappear. It takes a while but it works xxx

[anx mum]

hi hun u sound so much like me its horrible having pain and thinking ur gonna die all the time. R u on any meds? When someone says ur fine u dont believe them cos u dont feel fine. Pm anytime

[debs180]

Hi Andromeda,
Im sorry this isnt going to help you much, but im having exactly the same symptoms and im terrified of having a brain tumour also. My main symptom is a feeling of pressure mainly at the back of my head, but it can be anywhere in my head, and my head feels really heavy, the pressure sometimes is really intense which obviously makes me panic and worry so much. I did go to the docs and was sent to hospital to have behind my eyes checked because i was experiancing alot of floaters along with the pressure, but all was fine and told it was most likely due to anxiety.... not convinced at all!! I also hate the lightheadedness and off balance feeling.
Like you its all really getting to me and i feel edgy and paniciky most days, convinced im going to drop down dead.
Like i said no help at all, but i wanted you to know you are not alone.
Take care, PM anytime...

Love Debs xx