Andromeda
16-01-10, 21:48
tonight i have hit the bottom .
my anxiety is now constant 24/7 . it doesn't stop .
and this fear of something terrible about to happen is literally ruining my life .
i can't actually remember the last time i relaxed and enjoyed myself - without any fears or worry .
my family watch me as i sit there , trembling , checking my pulse every minute and keep saying to me 'you're fine'
but it's got to the point now where my mum is telling me 'you are fine . you don't have a brain tumor , you need to listen and accept it'
but the whole point is i CAN'T , if i could then i wouldn't have a problem !!!!
i'm starting to really effect them now , my constant negativity is bring the whole house down . i can feel it . i'm stressed all the time which naturally rubs off on them - if i had to watch someone i loved cry hysterically every day about the fact they were convinced they were going to die it would drain the hell out of me too !!
i have these horrible sharp pains in my head ! they've been on and off for ages now . i get a sharp pain when i move my head a certain way or cough !
my vision is seriously out of whack too ! i see flashes all the time , blurred vision all the time , doble vision . i feel like my eyes are going to roll into the back of my head !
my speech goes all funny sometimes like i can't get my words out ! i'm constantly off balance .
when i am sitting or lying down i get a horrible falling sensation - like someone is pulling me back !!!! this makes me feel like i'm about to black out or collapse .
i get strange sensations in my head like i'm about to become unconcious !
i get numbness in my left hand . so basically i have now come to the conclusion that i have a brain tumor !
i have suffered with migraines all my life but they went away when i went into my late teens , they came back just before i developed my anxiety .
i havent had a scan or anything because i'm terrified !!!!!
all i keep thinking is what if i really do have one :weep:
i'm going to have to go back to the doctors on monday because my thoughts have completely spiraled out of control over the past weeks considering i thought i was getting over this before !
i just keep thinking i'm about to die - at any moment !!! it won't go away and now i think i'm going crazy ! i don't want a life like this anymore .
my anxiety is now constant 24/7 . it doesn't stop .
and this fear of something terrible about to happen is literally ruining my life .
i can't actually remember the last time i relaxed and enjoyed myself - without any fears or worry .
my family watch me as i sit there , trembling , checking my pulse every minute and keep saying to me 'you're fine'
but it's got to the point now where my mum is telling me 'you are fine . you don't have a brain tumor , you need to listen and accept it'
but the whole point is i CAN'T , if i could then i wouldn't have a problem !!!!
i'm starting to really effect them now , my constant negativity is bring the whole house down . i can feel it . i'm stressed all the time which naturally rubs off on them - if i had to watch someone i loved cry hysterically every day about the fact they were convinced they were going to die it would drain the hell out of me too !!
i have these horrible sharp pains in my head ! they've been on and off for ages now . i get a sharp pain when i move my head a certain way or cough !
my vision is seriously out of whack too ! i see flashes all the time , blurred vision all the time , doble vision . i feel like my eyes are going to roll into the back of my head !
my speech goes all funny sometimes like i can't get my words out ! i'm constantly off balance .
when i am sitting or lying down i get a horrible falling sensation - like someone is pulling me back !!!! this makes me feel like i'm about to black out or collapse .
i get strange sensations in my head like i'm about to become unconcious !
i get numbness in my left hand . so basically i have now come to the conclusion that i have a brain tumor !
i have suffered with migraines all my life but they went away when i went into my late teens , they came back just before i developed my anxiety .
i havent had a scan or anything because i'm terrified !!!!!
all i keep thinking is what if i really do have one :weep:
i'm going to have to go back to the doctors on monday because my thoughts have completely spiraled out of control over the past weeks considering i thought i was getting over this before !
i just keep thinking i'm about to die - at any moment !!! it won't go away and now i think i'm going crazy ! i don't want a life like this anymore .