looking for advice on positive thoughts

[PinkLady]

I am trying cbt and basically on my own. I have a book and I was told to face the things that fear me. Would anyone be able to give me a little push. I think I am mostly afraid of not getting to the hospital
if something is seriously wrong. I am afraid of dying and leaving behind my children. I try to face my fears but the pains interfer
and maybe I still need the distractions. I do now what I have to do, but still unsure how to do it.

Thanks for listening,
Trina

Trina

[benoo5]

hi trina,

first...open up a fresh page in your journal,and write down in big letters <IME NOT ALONE WITH THIS>.

trina,your thoughts,are not just yours..thousands of people,suffer the same feelings as you.

ime a great believer in <little steps>..there is no point in thinking you will be over this tomorrow,and there is no point in thinking,i will never get over this!

take every day,as it comes...set yourself a little task,even if it means just walking for five mins,instead of the usual four mins...there is no reason to do anything too dificult..remember little steps.

read the breathing techniques on here..while your concentrating on that,the negative thoughts cant rush in,because your doing something positive.

breathing exercises,and physical exercises,keep your mind off the negative..over a period of time,the negative thoughts will be less frequent.

hope this will be of help...best wishes..bryan.

[PinkLady]

Thanks Brian,
I seem to have taken a back seat once she told me to face the fact that I can die today or tomorrow anyone can and true enough but I quess this really wasn't what I wanted to hear.
Since Thursday, I have been stiff, and even was at Emerg on Saturday with pain at the top left of my chest and in my back. I was checked for blood clots in my lungs and an ecg and chest x-ray.
Today I am still tightning in the chest and shoulders and my breathing stinks along with I am again afraid to do anything physical. I think I need to see another Doctor to help me further. In all honesty so far, this site has been my blessing and helped me more that the other.
Once again,
Thank you,
Trina

Trina

[benoo5]

hi trina,

life is full of wot ifs,that have to be changed to so wots!

saterday,had a positive outcome for you...you had your lungs,chest,and heart all checked,and given the all clear.

it really does seem,that your aches,and pains are brought on by stress,and anxiety...its easy to say relax,but it really will help...nice long warm bath,by candlelight..a good romantic video..a glass of wine..listening to music,while writing your thoughts and worries,in a journal..reading a good book,bridgit jones diary is excellent..a relaxation tape...relax any way that makes you feel comfortable.

finally,posting your thoughts on here is good therapy..read other peoples posts,and if possible,give them support and advice,every little helps,and dont forget <little steps>...bryan.

[Laurie28]

The problem I find with anxiety is the what if's!

What if this time it is really a medical emergency - what if this time i do get an allergy. The only way you can get rid of the what if's is tackling the problems. Start with something small and work your way up. Everytime you tackle a fear the WHAT IF's will get less and less. I know it is very difficult as my fears are dying and leaving my kids but even look at some of my old psts and then my most recent ones and it is proof it does get better - I promise

In a book I read it tells you all about your chatterbox (basically gives you all your negative thoughts!) Your chatterbox basically starts when you wake up. Why not replace the words your chatterbox is saying (ie you are going to die with nicer messages - argue with it - although I would recommend not in the street or anything)

Take Care
Lucky

[red]

Hi Trina
Hope you are feeling a little better today! I can't tell you the number of times I thought I was going to die and panicked if I thought I couldn't get to hospital on time; or if I ignored the 'symptoms' - and put them down to anxiety because that is what I had been told it was - would I really, really have something, what if I did? And you know, as I do,it starts all over again - a constant torment of what if's?

As Bryan says - learning to say 'so what' is a good re-learning tool for our nerves. If you say 'so what' each time a symptom raises it's ugly head, the subconcious will grab hold of the thought, remember it and use it the next time, making the feeling much less intense until they go altogether. Take it from one who knows only too well - and others on this forum who do to.

I totally agree that the 'well you are going to die anyway' is not helpful at all. We know that without anyone saying it / writing it. When I first heard that from someone, I froze and felt ten times worse. Ignore those comments that are unhelpful and treat them as just that - unhelpful.

Take care, relax, exercise and find distractions - every second doing one of those helps - it is an accumulative process.

Red
x

[Meg]

Hi Trina ,

Changing your thoughts will be of fantastic benefit and is the long term solution but in the mean time do try to help yourself physically too ie practice your breathing and if you're not managing ring a yoga teacher and get some help , get a friend to massage your shoulders and back as that's where you are storing your tension .

If you can prove to yourself that you can relieve a few of the pains it'll be easier to challenge the thoughts.





Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[Lottie32]

Stop thinking too much (I do it, and I know it's a killer, and easier said than done)

Write down a list of the "little" things you want to be able to do (walk to the shops, visit the local pub)

Keep practicing and practicing until you can do without a problem.

Make a list of "medium" things you want to do - visit the pictures/cinema, practice as above

Make a list of "bigger" things - visit a friend and stop over, go away for the weekend and practice

Remember to keep doing things from the small and medium list too.

Gradually keep increasing what you do, until you find yourself taking that two week holiday in Greece.

Focus ONLY on the here and now wheneve possible, concentrate on the progress that you are making. Keep a journal of all the trips to the shop/pubs etc.

Eventually your confidence will grow, and the scariness of the scary things receeds. Honestly.

Charlie

[sadie]

Hi trina,

Everything that has been said above is so true...you have to teach yourself to think 'so what' and eventually your thoughts will stop dominating your life.

I recently have started to do just that recently, everytime I feel a 'what if' its a heart attack, stroke, tumour etc.etc.etc...I have thought well I have felt these feelings etc so many times and nothing has happened yet so its just anxiety. What I have found is the first few times you retrain your thoughts, it is still difficult to believe as the fear is still there. However, I now feel that my brain is slowly but surely believing my new thoughts because I feel less scared when the symptoms appear!!

It is diificult at first but it does get easier, believe me I know but a little faith and patience and eventually you will see a difference in your thoughts.

Hope this helps.



sadie

[Meg]

Hurrah Sadie !!! you're doing so great.


Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[theedam5.fsnet.co.uk]

hi people
my name is david and i have been suffering from anxiety disorder for one year and 5 months.
not on any medication but have been to see a phyciatrist and they want to send me for cognitive therapy.
been having accupunchure for a year which has calmed me down but just started hypnotherapy , just cant get my head round it all , need answers , like is this going to end .can any one through some light on this for me , would be very greatful . many thanks david.

[Meg]

David,
It will improve but you have to do it yourself.
Lots of things like hypnotherapy and CBT, supplements , ecercise and relaxation will show you the way but itºs your effort that will actually improve you.



Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[nomorepanic]

Hi David

Welcome here. Take some time to read some posts and get an idea of what helps etc. Have you read much on the website too?



Nicola

[theedam5.fsnet.co.uk]

[hi nicola

just started to read this page and looking over web site
been big help, just keep finding it a struggle.
had cognitive therapy yesturday. found it a big help.

[stimpy]

Trina

Your automatic pilot will kick in and you will find yourself doing things you never thought possible. You made it to the emergency room, it wasn't pleasant but you did it, and in an emergency you will be able to do it again.

I have to agree with Bryan, little steps.

Today I will walk to the door ... and once you can do that comfortably move on to the next step.
Today I will walk to the door and step outside, I will wait a minute or so and go back inside.... and once you can do that comfortably move on to the next step.

And eventually you will be opening the door and stepping out without even thinking about it.





Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx

[:p] Panic Monster & Scatty Eccentric

[nomorepanic]

David

How do you feel the CBT went? Do you think it is something that you can stick at and get some help from?


Nicola