Extreme anxiety, starting therapy - advise

[nat38]

Hi, I'm reletively new here, been reading post but it's the first of my own.
I'll try to make it not too long.

For the last year or so, I've been having bursts of anxiety. If I had to put a start to it, unfortunately, I'll have to say that is related to the beginning of a new relationship with the man that is now my husband. In the worst stage I had derealization and constant very high anxiety. Now I have almost constat intrusive thoughts (mainly sexual, HOCD type, with lots of checking) but also other types, such as relationship substantiation (ROCD?) and now, the latest, panic about getting pregnant and/or having children. I KNOW that I love my husband sooo deeply and that this, the relationship and a family, is what I most want in my life, I have been longing for it for years, yet now that is here, that is closer, I feel paralysed and full of extreme anxiety just by thinking about it. I have good days, but I also have terrible ones when I can't stop crying, asking myself what's wrong with me, why I can't just be like everybody else, thinking this must mean something is wrong with my relationship and that I am actually in denial, and that only by accepting that I like women or that I want to be alone I will finally happy be happy.
This is devastating. I am totally confused, I do not what I feel/think anymore. I had many (many!) years of psychoanalysis in the past so it is not easy for me not to look for reasons for all this.
Yet I also think there is something deeper in me that has been completely turned upside down and it's causing me all this anxiety/fear.
l'll be starting therapy soon (in the NHS) but I am really worried they will not be able to diagnose me properly and will go through the wrong path and left me more messed up.
Do you have any hints/ideas for me to make good use of therapy?
Thanks!

[rblt94]

Wow, it sounds like you're going through a lot right now, but you are handeling it and you should be proud of yourself for that.
I had the same thoughts as you and you need to close out the world for a while and think what it best for you. What, deep down, makes you happy and relaxed? Therapy is a start. Everyone gets nervous at something new and you must adapt. Therapists are trained to analyze your anxiety and work with you to what you feel most comfortable with. I think your worried they might control you for the wrong reasons. It will work out over time and you must keep focused and remember to do what you think is best. Good luck!

[BabyRachel]

I think a good idea would be to ask your therapist what his or her plans are for your recover, ask them how they will help you and to tell you an outline of their plan. This may reassure you. Also, I don't know if your therapists have done this in the past but mine always have and its very helpful, is that the therapist always writes down the main points or techniques they have talked about in the session so you can refer to it later on. I know I have a very forgetful mind and if they didn't do this I would have no memory of whats happened!! xx