Driven to distraction with anxiety...!

[jacko296]

Hi Everyone...

I just wanted to rant wildly about this illness...it just makes me sick.Today was a day where minute by minute i am constantly 'checking' my feelings..at mercy to any sensation and convincing myself that it is something really 'serious' then rationlising it that it is just my anxiety/panic playing tricks and back and forth this goes on all day...all while i'm trying to do a days work....not sure if at any minute im just gonna 'freak out' and have to leave etc etc..!

Its just so bloody consuming and im tired of trying to keep it at bay..im so angry with the amount of headspace it dominates...and that no matter what i try to do disarm it...it just comes back stronger...im seriously p****d off with the amount of time this illness has taken off me and how controlling it can be.I dont know if i should try meds again,but have had no luck in the past...i just get despondent...as im sure we all do.

I just really needed to get that out...thanks everyone.

(...J.

[bottleblond]

Jacko

:hugs:

It's horrible when you feel like that. I get it too so i really do sympathise!!
Hope you feel better soon!
Lisa
x

[Louise21]

I really sympathise with you as I suffer with it as well and have had another particularly bad day.
Hoping tomorrow will be better for you.
Best wishes,
Louise

[Veronica H]

Hi Jacko

It is the feeling that you have to check constantly and fight which is keeping your fear of the symptoms going and so sensitising your nerves. There is a brilliant book by Dr Claire Weekes;SELF HELP FOR YOUR NERVES ISBN 0-7225-3155-9.This is available from the NMP shop. Dr Weekes was a physician and scientist. She was a fellow sufferer (nominated for the nobel prize for medicine) and really understood this illness. She took the mystery out of it, and devised a simple programme for recovery. I can't recommend this enough. This will get better. :bighug1:Veronica

[Jimpy]

Jacko,

seriously I could have wrote that post today! All day checking and rechecking symptoms, any little thing can set me off, for about two hours today I could not concentrate one bit on what I was supposed to be doing, then I took a little bit of control and stuttered to the end of my working day, it is truly awful at times isn't it! Dam anxiety!!
I hope tomorrow is a better day for you,

Jim

[jacko296]

Thanks everyone....its just seems that of late that this has /is becoming the norm and is affecting all areas of my life..i hope this period passes soon .
i know i have to take action...its just exhausting.

J.x

[melvin]

just to let you know mate i know where your coming from

[Jimpy]

It is exausting, it feels like a punishment. A good day here and there or a good hour if the anxiety is really acute then boom it's back again. Really tired and like you all aspects of my life are affected. But then again chin up mate at least on one level it is way to find ou t about ourselves, small payback I know but anything to stay positive. It won't be forever I am sure of that!

Jim

[Moondance]

I'm with Veronica H on this one. Claire Weekes's book will point you in the right direction. However, as individuals, we're the ones that have to 'do the work' on acceptance and it's hard. I used to find that constant checking a real source of frustration, forever questioning how i'm feeling, it wears you out and it's a lonely business. I used to be envious of people who looked like they have it all together and weren't worried about getting on a train/bus etc and could go about their business 'without a care in the world'. The more you try not to think about something, the more it's in your thoughts, the key is to stop worrying about what you're thinking. I used to get up in the morning with that horrible heavy anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach, I learned very slowly to acknowledge that I felt anxious and then to just let it be there, I stopped analysing why, I just let myself feel anxious. Eventually, the feelings became less intense and I worried about them less. I don't wake up with those feelings now, but i had to practice and learn not to add the worry. It will take time, anxiety will not disappear overnight but it will go, we have to be patient. I hope that helps in some way.

[jacko296]

Thanks moondance....it does help..and to everyone who has posted...it really helps to dissipate the loneliness of this illness.xxx